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indefatigability
from one point of view, and an important one at that, the festive holiday has been a bit of a washout. literally. where once i would have approached christmas eve with eagerness, keen to begin the festive 500, i have more recently set my sights a tad lower, aiming for a festive 250. but even that seems out of reach for this particular year.
the return distance from the croft in bowmore to debbie's in bruichladdich, is, to all intents and purposes, 28km, give or take a few metres. therefore, if i were to ride to deb's each day across the prescribed eight day period of my 250, i'd manage a comfortable 224km. add in at least one 65km ride over the course of a weekend, and achieving the desired target distance would be sneaker pimps.
sadly, 100kph winds on christmas eve put paid to any cycling at all, and a miserly 25km on christmas day had me already on the back cleat. things were looking better by midweek, with a calculated spurt over the following days promising the possibility of even exceeding the goal. then thursday happened, with, once again, 100kph winds and torrential rain, keeping the bicycle firmly in the bikeshed for the duration.
that said, the final straw of my cunning plan had a slightly longer than usual saturday ride in mind, and when accompanied by the last ride of the year today, i figured i might just scrape through. but purely to add insult to injury, yesterday dawned with 85kph winds and more torrential rain, putting any thoughts of riding a bicycle into the irritation box and any chance of achieving 250 kilometres pretty much out of reach.
of that, i'm not overly disappointed, but i am rather annoyed that the weather has meant a total of three days off the bike across a somewhat shorter festive holiday than has been the case in past years. and worst of all are those lengthy periods of walking up and down the sitting room, staring out of either window, trying to convince myself and mrs washingmachinepost that i could, actually, ride in such conditions. that inveterate pacing is interspersed with constant refreshing of the xcweather web page, in the forlorn hope that the wind will miraculously melt away and the sun creep out from behind the dense grey clouds.
but all to no avail.
so, midst feelings of being a total wimp from not having braved the elements, i sat down yesterday afternoon to watch the uci world cup cyclocross race from hulst in the netherlands, where a first corner coming together of a number of riders, left the unfortunate tom pidcock holding a red pinarello with a dismembered rear gear mech. by the time he took stock of his unfortunate luck, the rest of the field had disappeared into the distance, leaving him alone and with no chance of joining eventual winner, mathieu van der poel, on the podium.
whereas you and i would probably have reluctantly admitted defeat and trudged back to the start line, pidcock shouldered the bike and ran around half a lap to the pits in order to collect a new bike and head off in pursuit. having started in last place out of almost 100 riders, he spent the eight laps of the race passing at every opportunity, finally finishing in 25th place, well over three minutes behind mvdp.
i realise that tom probably gets paid a sizeable sum of money by ineos grenadiers to race as best he can and always aim for the win, but i doubt even they would have grumbled if he'd decided to call it a day after the gear mech incident. the fact that he didn't, has, if anything, made the festive velocipedinal situation even worse. for shortly after 1pm, on islay, the wind dropped, the rain stopped, the clouds cleared and blue sky could be seen far and wide. but rather than change quickly and grab the cross bike from the shed and head in the direction of a soya latté, i opted to watch a cyclocross event that could easily have been viewed later that same day via eurosport's on demand feature. let's face it, there's very little chance of anyone over here inadvertently giving away the result as a spoiler alert.
i have always categorised riding in adverse weather conditions as 'character building', and i now worry that having missed out on so many days of riding this festive season, that my character has been severely diluted and i'll soon become little more than a mere mortal by the time we reach 2024.
as was the case with christmas day, i'll be taking a break from scribblings with which to regale you on new year's day, but back again on tuesday 2 january. have a happy new year, and don't overdo the imbibing of alcoholic beverages; there's still the new year's day ride with which to contend.
sunday 31 december 2023
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................young at heart
to be perfectly blunt, the current members of the velo club could easily fit the description of old farts, though we continue to avoid the prefix 'boring', but possibly not for too much longer. we have been fortunate to acquire the company of one or two newbies over the past couple of years, drawn from the ranks of those who moved to the island for work. unfortunately, one has already moved on, and we're about to lose another two by the end of january. that, thankfully, does not dispense entirely with the only means we have of lowering the average age of the sunday morning peloton.
however, there's a greater than evens possibility that the two individuals on which the pressure has alighted, will also move on within the coming year. situations such as that are common in island life; there are those who have moved here with the intention of staying, but others have moved here temporarily to fill transient employment opportunities. the latter state of affairs is likely to increase in the future, as more distilleries are added and islay's already fully employed population has to be augmented from elsewhere. with luck, some of that augmentation might include a cyclist or two, but we're not holding our collective breath.
though not constituted as what might be termed a 'proper club', for convenience' sake it's easier to have it referred to in such manner. as advised on previous occasions, the rule book's first order of service states, there are no rules, while the second item on the agenda qualifies that by referring the reader back to rule one. there have been, on occasion, grants available to aid local sports development, but all aimed directly at those with charitable status, and a committee or board of directors. of course, very much in our favour, we've no idea on what we might spend any grant money.
somehow, we have never discussed the possibility of actually doing something to encourage younger velocipedinal acolytes, should such a class of youth actually exist. this is not to say that there are islay youngsters in possession of bicycles, but none of whom i'm aware, harbour any thoughts of doing other than riding to the shops or, very occasionally, to school. the problem, as the mighty dave-t has outlined on more than a single occasion, the difficulty arises on realising that, at some point, any bicycle in question has to be pedalled with gusto. and while many seem keen to put in the effort when it comes to playing soccer or rugby, apparently cycling looks (and probably is) considerably harder.
i take great and childish pleasure in regaling all within earshot, of having watched cycle races that formed part of the telenet super prestige, or x2o badkamers trophies, secure in the knowledge that they have no earthly idea of that which i speak. that sense of idiocy extends to het nieuwsblad, ronde van vlaanderen and riders such as mathieu van der poel, wout van aert and eli iserbyt, serving only to distance myself even further from the comprehension of my interlocutors. i doubt that i am alone in such juvenile pursuits, but on islay, or in scotland, i fear i may be an isolated case.
this sense of ignorance extends even to my immediate family, who will nod assurances, but in reality, i may as well be talking belgian. which, in most cases, i am.
but were i to transfer my associations to france, belgium, holland, switzerland or even italy and spain, the number of quizzical looks would most likely diminish, for which i have pictorial evidence (see the images that bookend this monologue). that's something that not only adds to my sense of joy, but detracts to the same degree. having watched yesterday's =exact cross event from loenhout, to witness youngsters holding up home-made cardboard signs in support of the indefatigable mathieu van der poel, warms the cockles of my challenge grifos. but that emotion would be multiplied manyfold if i thought the same could be witnessed should telenet or badkamers choose to include a round of their respective trophies in scotland.
i live in (forlorn) hope.
saturday 30 december 2023
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................lifetime guarantee
my original attraction to road cycling was, to be honest, a bit on the superficial side. i'd been inadvertently sucked into the mountain biking meme, having purchased a muddy fox courier on the basis that it had a decent spread of gears via a triple chainset. the notion that people would actually ride up and down mountains (or big hills, given that we're talking about scotland) hadn't occurred. surely the word 'mountain' was merely a marketing ploy?
however, as the 1980s progressed into the 1990s, mountain biking became more and more of a 'thing', spawning endless anodised widgets, bar ends, crazy tyre names, smaller and smaller inner rings, that it seemed quite possible the entire enchilada would eventually devour itself. all of this was reported, featured and encouraged by a sizeable number of publications devoted to the activity and sport, many of which gave away cover-mounted, anodised widgets.
though i'd like to think of myself as several steps distant from such commercialisation, in truth, the more new bikes, paint jobs, groupsets and innovations that arrived seemingly on a weekly basis, the more my own bicycle seemed out of date. and once you're down the rabbit hole, it becomes harder and harder to maintain a clear head in the face of rampant persuasion.
road bikes, however, seemed not to have jumped on that particular bandwagon. pretty much the only game in town in the early 1990s, was a lugged steel frame; carbon had yet to reveal its entrancing warp and weft. and any new groupsets from campagnolo or shimano were almost certainly the result of actual technical improvement. so i bought a reynolds 531 lugged frame, a campagnolo chorus groupset, a pair of iconically named croce d'aune polished hubs, a bunch of spokes and mavic rims and sat down and stood up to build my very own road bike (which i do believe is still around the village in someone's garage). i liked the fact that even the comic seemed bereft of perusasions to purchase the latest gee-gaw simply because it was the latest gee-gaw.
and, apart from some of mavic's rims, nothing else seemed to have succumbed to the invidious trait of anodising.
there will, i believe, be those who harbour doubts about the veracity of which i speak. shimano released the first incarnation of dura-ace di2 over fourteen years ago, so there are bound to be a number of today's riders, even professionals, who have never ridden a bicycle with mechanical shifting. and it won't be that long before we can cite the same story regarding hydraulic disc brakes. and just don't get me started on so-called gravel bikes, however practical they might be.
so where bicycles were once regarded as mere transport (an appellation i believe richard sachs would still be likely to quote) or, for the few, a weekend sporting activity, they are now every bit as much a part of fashion as super-dry hoodies and gucci handbags. you need, however, not only take my word for it. though this is a state of affairs that has existed for quite some time in plain sight, i do believe it's not one that would be readily admitted by the bulk of the industry. i surely cannot be the only one to have witnessed an almost total lack of recent innovation within the cycle clothing sector. if i may be so bold, recent offerings from imperial works are surely the perfect explanation as to why they've made a financial loss for the past six years.
and on checking the specialized website recently to compare my five year-old crux cyclocross bike with the present model, the only change appear to be colour scheme and a desire to be regarded as a gravel bike with the fitting of a cassette featuring a 42 tooth large sprocket.
hambini a controversial character at the best of times, has even included the demise of aero as one of his predictions for 2024, a bicycle development that was tenuous at best, and highly doubtful that it ever made any real difference to the top speed of any mere mortal. since the pros were all riding aero frames at one point, the level playing field was maintained and therefore also offering negligible advantage. there are now industry insiders and analysts competing with each other to predict the next trend likely to emerge from the far east, but designed in california. even the steel is real/bespoke framebuilder period of just over a decade past was a fashion choice, but one with which i felt a certain affinity.
in that respect, cycling has lost its innocence. no longer is it possible to purchase a complete bicycle from the shop floor that will remain fashionable for more than a year at a time. it's a shame that it's come to this, but remember, a bicycle's a friend for life, no matter what it looks like.
friday 29 december 2023
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................trying times
at the junction of the low road and high road at springbank, there is a very small river heading towards the shoreline of loch indaal on the opposite side of the road. it reaches this by way of a culvert underneath the road. for the majority of the year, all works as designed, though occasionally can be seen more bubbling water in the roadside ditches than most of us would wish. in the years following my arrival on the hallowed isle, this short stretch of road would flood with unfailing regularity, the river then reaching loch indaal across the surface of the road.
it has frequently been pointed out that roadside ditches, not only those on islay, were once kept clear of undergrowth by bordering farms, but since the latter industry features far fewer individuals than were common in the past, that particular work now falls to the local council. unfortunately, in common with councils all across the nation, funding from central government has been decreasing for years, leaving those in charge having to constantly find annual savings; work that, while desirable, can be relatively safely dispensed with.
but, like many an interconnected system, leaving one aspect undone often leads to unforeseen problems further down the line.
several years past, either the council or islay estates brought in outside contractors to deepen the river bed and clear away much of the undergrowth to prevent the ditch overflowing and relieve the main road from regular flooding. however, whether you blame climate change or not, it's hard to deny that rainfall and winds have shown notable increase in recent years, undermining the original clearance work, and underlining the need for more regular maintenance. with very heavy overnight rain between boxing day and 27 december, amongst many instances of local flooding, springbank once again proved to be a hazard for motoring, and perhaps less so for the intrepid cyclist.
in circumstances such as those outlned above, cyclists are party to at least two options when riding through flooded road sections, while our motoring colleagues are saddled with one. roads are generally constructed with cambered edges, meaning the centre of the road is higher than each lane. this is predominantly true of even single track roads, though i could point out one or two exceptions in respect of the latter. therefore, when the rain ceased and the wind relaxed yesterday morning, and i headed south west for a festive soya latté on the approach to springbank, i drifted into the centre of the road, stood up on the pedals, and freewheeled through the shallowest of flowing waters.
vehicles approaching from behind and in the opposing direction had no option but to drive through the deepest parts of the flood. courteously, those on the approach conveniently slowed to a crawl, lest the bow wave created by their tyres swamped yours truly as i failed miserably to remain completely dry. and in the latter attempt, i had clad my feet in a pair of endura fs260-pro nemo overshoes, a christmas present from mrs washingmachinepost. these were most welcome, following the complete seizure of a zip on my aged freezing-point, necessitating a pair of scissors to free my right foot.
though a pair of neoprene overshoes may not seem the most important subject for a daily monologue, there's a major point in their favour that, at first, might seem rather unremarkable. you see, following the zip incident (not the first that had inflicted itself upon one's winter velocipedinal activities), acquiring a pair of overshoes bereft of zip seemed like a solution made not in watopia. and for once, the marketing material to which the nemo overshoes were attached, did not exaggerate.
i cannot be the only cyclists to have fallen for the highly stretchable material copy printed on competing websites and otherwise branded packaging. to elucidate further, the intrepid cyclist is expected to pull the nemo overshoes over a pair of cycling footwear, thus creating a very close-fit weather and waterproof outer layer. i have owned two other brands of similarly constituted overshoes, fitting and removal of which often proved harder than the bike ride they preceded and followed.
therefore, having supped my latté froth, discussed the local events that made for intelligent conversation (mostly the article featured in tuesday's times newspaper concerning the impending sale of portnahaven church by the scottish presbytery), i returned the way i'd arrived, to witness that much of the flooding experienced on the outward trip, had noticeably abated. having safely stowed the ritchey in thewashingmachinepost bike shed, i entered the kitchen to divest myself of outerwear, including the specified endura overshoes.
you can perhaps share my surprise and delight to discover that the nemos were peeled from my footwear with all the ease of removing the skin from a banana, to reveal a pair of dry leather cycle shoes. remember when it used to be the bike ride that was the high point of the day?
thursday 28 december 2023
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................these are not the bolts you're looking for
like many a bike shed across the nation, thewashingmachinepost version is a total shambles. this began many years ago, when i began reviewing componentry such as groupsets, wheels, tyres et al, all of which arrive in suitably constituted cardboard boxes. working on the not unusual assumption that the items ought to be returned following the review period, the boxes were kept safe and sound to accommodate the aftermath.
however, much to my surprise, certain items were not always expected back, or requests for the appropriate returns address were not always met with alacrity. thus, said bike shed began to agglomerate an unruly collection of boxes and various items of cycling componentry. not being the tidiest of fellows, this ultimately led to a shed full of bicycles, boxes, wheels and tyres, with no space remaining in which to undertake any necessary fettling. thus, any mechanical necessities have to be carried out in the great outdoors, occasionally sheltering behind the shed door.
according to the weather forecast for the rest of this week, tuesday was realistically the only day on which mechanical duties could be accomplished without donning a full set of waterproofs and bracing myself against the croft in order to remain upright. all this to replace the inner chainring on my record chainset. i believe we have already discussed the fact that, unlike the halcyon days of yore, something as apparently simple as replacing a chainring, is considerably less simple. that, i'm led to believe, is progress.
removing the chaineset from the bicycle is now managed with practised ease, even the drive side crank without having it drop on the concrete floor and chip the clearcoat over the carbon. on these modern campagnolo groupsets, the chainrings are affixed by way of torx bolts and not unexpectedly, one bolt refused to budge. attempting to have it do so, unfortunately rounded out the torx teeth, but such is the nature of the beast, moving up to the next size of torx wrench provided sufficient purchase to finally remove bolt and ring from the crankset.
campagnolo are nice enough to include four new bolts with the replacement ring, so all was well that ended well. or, almost.
in the days of shiny chainsets, both rings were held to the spider with the same set of bolts, and i had stupidly assumed that this would still be the case. however, having removed the inner ring, i discovered a second set of chainring bolts affixing the outer ring on a wider bolt circle diameter. you will by now have reached the same conclusion as did i; that when time comes to replace the outer ring, not only will i once again have to remove the chainset from the bicycle, but i will also have to remove the inner ring to gain access to the bolts for the outer ring. what on earth was vicenza thinking?
and, as i attempted to replace the two halves of the chainset, and line them up to have the hirth coupling join together, i wondered why campagnolo didn't think to modify the hirth joint in a similar way to their unique cassette freehub. amidst those deep splines, the notched spline ensures that the cassette can only be fitted in one way. so why not engineer a similar facility on the hirth coupling to ensure that the cranks can only ever be fitted at 90 degrees to each other. anything, in fact, to remove the faffing and ensure that the cranks cannot be incorrectly fitted.
i'm sure there's a logical reason as to why things are as they are, but i fear it might need an italian mindset to comprehend. as far as i can see, the chainring bolt situation is purely to allow the outside world to be presented with a svelte carbon aesthetic, and for no other reason. when checking for untoward creaks on the bicycle, one of the potential culprits is always the chainring bolts, but if only four of the eight can be accessed without removing the chainset and inner-ring, it might be simpler just to live with the noise until such time as the big ring needs changing.
the record groupset has been installed on the ritchey for almost exactly five years, and that's the first set of replacement bottom bracket bearings it's required, and the first time i've had need of replacing a chainring. the outer ring looks as if it has a good few kilometres left, so if a creak turns up, it'll just have to wait.
wednesday 27 december 2023
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................a grand day out
though there's probably not such a thing as a statute of limitations on festive 500 participation, i'm resting my laurels upon ten years, starting from year one. i missed completion during one attempt due to bad weather and having to play at a wedding, but for nine years, i managed to achieve the requisite 500km (and even 600km on one good year.)
had i been intent on undertaking the full distance this year, i'd have been off to a bad start; with winds gusting to 100kph. and though we all met up at debbie's in bruichalddich, none of us rode there. however, a few years ago i opted to curtail the distance to half the prescribed minimum, aiming for a festive 250km. happily and entirely concidentally, that pretty much equates to riding to and from debbie's every day for a soya latté and a double egg roll. but with no cycling on christmas eve, even that aim is going to be slightly more of an uphill target.
for those without historical reference to rapha's 500km, former senior designer at imperial works, graeme raeburn, opted to ride 1000km one festive holiday, rather than remain at home watching reruns of only fools and horses. figuring (probably correctly), that the majority would scarcely have the time to undertake such a distance, the following year the festive 500 was launched. the length and breadth of that undertaking has been slightly diluted in recent years, with dispensation provided to the zwifties, to complete the distance in front of an ipad or flat screen tv. in cases such as the latter, i (and several others), feel that a 1000km minimum ought to be imposed, given that fact that it's a simple matter to curate favourable conditions to aid completion.
thankfully, cycling is party to complete nutters who go in the entirely opposite direction. there is currently a video on youtube depicting a successful attempt to ride all 500km in one day. the jury is still out as to whether this paints cyclists in a favourable or disfavourable light. i've also heard rumours that several zwifties planned a similar attempt, but since that's not really cycling, we'll discount that for the present.
more locally, i have a sneaking suspicion that i was the only member of the velo club to head out for a christmas day bike ride, even if only a modest 25km, but i'm old and decrepit, so i offer that by way of a credible excuse. however, though this probably arrives a day too late to offer succour to the downtrodden, i think it important to begin the way you mean to carry on. a full week before it becomes necessary to think of new year resolutions, this is the very period to begin acquiring the character building and physique that will look most impressive by the time what passes for summer finally arrives.
and let's face it; by the time you sit down of an afternoon to watch a veritable festival of european cyclocross this week, you can do so with a credible level of smugness. win/win situation.
merry christmas.
tuesday 26 december 2023
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