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preparation

omloop het nieuwsblad takes place on saturday 24 february, ahead of its spring classics partner, kuurne-brussels-kuurne, races that will, to some degree at least, take the sting out of the end of the cyclocross season. as we have discussed on previous occasions, everything that takes place between then and the start of the 24/25 'cross season, is just stuff that gets in the way. the spring classics are, to all intents and purposes, simply a palliative that might numb the onset of the grand tours. de ronde van vlaanderen is but 69 days on the horizon, followed seven days later by paris-roubaix when they're over, that marks the beginning of the downward slope.

the last rain-soaked paris-roubaix was in 2021, but prior to that, nineteen years of dessication have marked the passage of the much-anticipated cobbled classic. while that may have been particularly appeasing for the riders, those of us watching from the safety and comfort of our armchairs feel cheated, particularly over such a lengthy period of dry weather. several years ago scottish cycle clothing purveyors, endura issued their equivalent of castelli's infamous gabba jacket, featuring an inside label that stated: 'if you thought the spring classics were bad, try scotland', paying not only lip service to scotland's notorious reputation for rain, but consolidating the general opinion that the spring classics are often a battle between the riders and the meteorological conditions.

but how can any of us truly appreciate the conditions under which the professionals hope to augment their palmares, unless we too are willing to undertake exploratory sessions of our own? granted, many a sport suffers the slings and arrows of an apparent lack of knowledge loudly displayed by couch potato fans. i well recall my father and brother watching match of the day way back in the 1970s. my bedroom adjoined the sitting room from which could often be heard vocal disparagements of the referee's eyesight, or noisily expressed disbelief accorded the accuracy of the centre-forward's aim. granted, my brother had been in the habit of playing the occasional football match, but i had only my father's less than convincing testimony that he too had played the so-called 'beautiful game' in his own distant childhood.

i, however, despite a flagrant lack of forward speed, contend that the only means of fully appreciating the less savoury parts of the professional milieu, is to experience them at first hand, a contention that is seemingly not in agreement with the rest of what we used to refer to as the sunday morning peloton. their lack of moral fibre was blatantly displayed yesterday morning, when once again i answered to the apellation 'brian no-mates'. admittedly, the weather forecast foretold of 90kph winds and heavy rain, but closer examination revealed that the winds were not expected to exceed 70kph until early afternoon.

this offered a cycling window that was best curtailed by mid-day, allowing more than enough time to grab a debbie's coffee and still be home for the world cup cyclocross from benidorm. granted, the rain began prior to leaving the croft, and had offered no respite throughout the morning's ride, but the wind provided little trouble, other than the grunt work required to pedal into a 60kph headwind. that,i hasten to add, is pretty much par for the course this far west.

the plus side, for yours truly at least, is that across the weekend of het neiuwsblad and kbk, should the weather in belgium prove the equal of the early part of this week (apparently nothing less than 60kph until next sunday), i will be as one with those contesting for the win, speed differential notwithstanding. meanwhile, i shall do my utmost to make my one-time colleagues feel as worthless as they have obviously chosen to become.

monday 22 january 2024

decisions, decisions

many years ago, when i was a member of the islay pipe band drum corps, the weekly practices were held on tuesday evenings in the gaelic centre on the outskirts of bowmore village. these sessions generally featured an hour or so with the pipers round a table practising new and recent tunes on chanter, while the drummers were in a separate room working on rudimental studies and any new drum scores made necessary by an enhanced piping repertoire.

following individual practice by the two sections, the final hour or so would see pipers and drummers come together in the main hall to run through several tunes on pipes and drums.

though the choice of tuesday evening had been reputedly the result of common consent, it was not unusual to find a lack of certain pipers on every alternate tuesday evening. this did have an adverse effect on musical progression, for the pipers missing in action were often those drawn from the more experienced ranks, thinning out the sound and providing a less than full sound from which the pipe major might base his overall musical assessment, eeking out that which might need more practice, or alteration of the arrangements.

it transpired that these regular absences were not the result of a laissez-faire approach to their commitment, but the result of live broadcasts of matches played by their favourite football team. querying these absences on the basis that surely the recording of said matches would allow them to watch later that same evening, their response suggested that the concern was more that someone would inform them of the result before they had a chance to watch. therefore, their fanaticism for the team left them no choice but avoid spoiler alerts, and watch each match as it took place.

generally speaking, i found this to be less than commendable. i was and still am, inclined to attend any music-making sessions for which i have signed up, on the basis that the commitment was evident right from the start. the same goes for the sunday monring bike ride; on occasion it would be rather nice to simply turn over in bed and go back to sleep, rather than face the often inclement hebridean weather to be experienced during the winter months. but unless there is danger to be feared from unplalatable windspeeds, i said i'd be there, so be there i will.

but what about situations where no commitment has been made? what if there is cycling on the tellybox at a given time, but i am elsewhere? should i feel pressured to cut short any alternate activity and ensure i am sat in the armchair for the grand départ? more specifically, if i'm out cycling, should i opt for a shorter route that would have me home in time to watch the live broadcast, or, given that i have a subscription to eurosport player, should i enjoy the limited time available in which to indulge in personal velocipedinal activity, and simply watch the event on catchup later that same day?

basically, what i'm asking is: should personal cycling time be subsumed to the watching of live events?

personally speaking, i'm inclined to choose cycling over tv time. even in the depths of july, when work or cycling clashes with the daily stages of the tour de france, i will quite cheerfully watch the daily highlights, safe in the knowledge that the chances of anyone announcing the event or stage winner before i have the opportunity to see for myself, are extremely slim. unlike football, i can think of only one other individual on islay who watches live cyclocross, such as yesterday's exact cross event from zonnebeke, and he and i are both well accustomed to not mentioning any results unless the other indicates the race has already been seen. granted, when the spring classics hove into view, i am desirous of watching at least the ronde and roubaix as they happen, but it's not exactly the end of the world if i have to switch on during the respective sunday evenings.

after all, mrs washingmachinepost couldn't care less who won either event, and there's no-one else within earshot to whom i could impress that my afternoons were filled with cobbles. not for nothing is cycling referred to as an activity, something that is best pursued on an active basis, during the hours of daylight. dark winter evenings, curled up on the armchair with a cup of green tea and a marmalade sandwich, on the other hand, are just perfect for watching cycle racing.

and don't you forget it.

sunday 21 january 2024

one good turn

every now and again, i undertake the most rudimentary of research into bicycle pricing, by selecting one of the activity's larger online retailers, and assessing the entry-level cost of becoming a roadie. i hasten to add that this is not for my own particular benefit (i am well supplied with velocipedinal transportation), but simply to keep tabs on what might potentially become a cost-of-riding-crisis.

despite the recent portents of doom and gloom concerning bicycle sales, these were preceded by exclamations akin to wtf? on learning of somewhat astronomical price tags hanging from the handlebar stems. only a matter of days past, even within these black and yellow pixels, i made mention of sarto's latest machinery, the cost of which left very little change from £20,000. few of us have the wherewithal to join that particular club, and even were matters to be different, would we actually want to?

but what of life at the other end of the economic scale? for the wannabe apprentice, has the price of entry become more or less amenable? as it transpires, from a cursory glance, it appears bicycle life is far easier to join from the lower slopes, than has ever been the case. if you'd be happy to commence your path to the tour de france on a seven-speed, aluminium road bike with carbon fork, assuming you're of the right size, evans cycles have a complete bicycle for £119; honestly. if, however, your self-respect and future endeavours demand something a tad more significant, the same retailer offers a specialized allez e5 for one pound less than £500.

granted the above mentioned prices are the subject of price reductions, presumably to shift old stock (the allez was first released in 2017) and the sizes are somewhat limited (size small for the first and 44cm for the specialized). however, the contention remains that it's possible, if you shop around, to perhaps find something that will allow you to join the sunday morning peloton without applying for a loan or mortgage. (choose a different colour scheme for the specialized and you can have it in ay size your heart desires for only £699).

and just to gratuitously over-egg the pudding, those are complete bicycles. the latter with an aluminium frame, carbon fork, shimano componentry (admittedly claris) and an 11-32 eight-speed cassette. casting our eyes a bit further shows the bicycle to feature a pair of shallow-drop 6061 alloy handlebars, allied to a forged alloy, proportionately sized stem. no weight is specified, but aside from beggars not being choosers, if you're starting out, the first concern is probably not measured in grams.

at the opposite end of the price and weight spectrum, life is complicated by choices, and not just over on what to spend your hard-earned. of course, we've all been riding for long enough to be a bit more discerning, swayed entirely by peer pressure, marketing and a complete lack of perspective. so while the newbie's needs are more modest and, by definition, probably far less informed, we spend inordinate periods of time over weight comparisons, carbon layup and whether the brand-name applied can be seen by innocent and uncaring bystanders. if our choices cost ludicrous amounts of money, so much the better.

that, presumably, is the portion of the market being viciously targeted by enve; more specifically, targeted with its brand new, one-piece ses ar one-piece carbon handlebar. and since you asked, should your steerer accord with enve's standards, fitting the largest option will add a mere 360 grams (ten ounces, in old money) to your pride and joy. it is, however, technology such as this, produced at the behest of tadej's team uae, that does nothing at all to aid any attempts to recruit recent acolytes to the cause.

though the handlebar, offering integrated stem cable routing via a head-tube interface designed in conjunction with chris king components, creates an attractive cockpit, its price of £1300 rather undermines our constant protestations that the cost of admission to the velocipedinal realm is anything but prohibitive. for that sort of money, evans cycles will sell you a cannondale synapse 2 with a ten-speed, tiagra groupset.

enve apportion the high cost to limited production numbers and the fact that tadej could care less how much it costs to get him in yellow once again. but as has been frequently pointed out (not least by me), the professionals have no need of digging into their own pockets for this level of componentry. that essentially means enve are relying solely upon you and i to fill their (probably carbon) cash register. and in companion with sarto's £20,000 bicycle, we don't really need it.

the disconnect widens by the day.

image: enve

saturday 20 january 2024

more classified information

publicity of hitherto unreleased, or recently released products was never the underlying purpose behind these daily monologues. however, if i'm completely honest, there really was no particular purpose, a philosophy to which, i believe, i have unerringly stuck to throughout the last 27 plus years. however, the receipt of a targeted press release in my inbox yesterday, allied to peripheral information, has brought me to almost inadvertently provide that which i claim to have been avoiding since 1996. the weak part of my argument concerns the fact that i have previously disparaged the sender of said press release.

and it looks like i might be repeating the process today.

belgian-based hubsters (that's a word i just made up), classified have made it their mission to scare us away from double chainsets by concealing wireless electrically operated technology within a proprietary rear hub, emulating the ratios that the considerably cheaper, double-chainring setup originally achieved. of course, were it truly that simple, price difference notwithstanding (£2,225 including wheelset), it's an invention that might well have caught on to a notable degree. unfortunately, for owners of rim-brake bicycles, the system is disc-brake compatible only. secondly, though reputedly compatible with campagnolo, shimano and sram, it requires a proprietary 12 speed cassette.

i'm sure we all saw it coming from afar, but in order to cement prospective classified customers' affiliation with the brand, the company has, earlier today, released its own range of carbon wheels geared (pun intended) towards gravel, road and time-trial discplines, augmented with a one-size-fits-all price tag. however, it's hard to place these wheels in any sort of context: while they arrive with a front hub, the rear wheel still requires purchase of a classified powershift rear hub internals and associated electronics, to complete the setup. a cursory search of the internet would suggest that the latter is priced just the wrong side of £1100. to that, it's necessary to add around £1500 for the classified wheelset of your choice. i'm unsure whether this includes a suitable cassette (£150+) or not.

the advertised weight of 1315g per pair does seem rather attractive, until you read the small print that advises they've excluded the weight of the classified hub (475g) and the cassette (190g), bringing the all up weight near 2kg. at this point, the previously mentioned peripheral information comes into play. in the comic this week is featured the also recently released fulcrum (a campagnolo subsidiary) speed 25 wheelset, claiming to be 'the lightest, low-profile disc wheels ever made', a claim that may or may not be true. however, classified would no doubt point out that their system dispenses with the weight of a double chainset (around 585g for super-record wireless) and front derailleur (160g super-record wireless).

however, as we have been advised since time immemorial, the pertinent weight reductions are best centred around the wheelset, due to the vagaries of rotating weight versus static weight. meaning their comparisons might not be as apposite as they'd have us believe.

any such considerations are, however, largely academic; for the majority of eager classified purchasers, it will make not one iota of difference. however, a bit like all electronic groupsets, the classified system still resembles a solution looking for a problem. granted, i have never ridden the classified powershift, so, not altogether unheard of, i speak from a total lack of experience; but once again, i think it likely that, for the majority, it's a lot of money to effectively achieve what we already have with a double chainset. and with the above reference to campagnolo componentry, vicenza offers only one single ring chainset (ekar) and that's only 13-speed compatible, meaning campagnolo users who might opt for a classified system or wheelset might find themselves at an impasse.

and does the velocipedinal world really need yet another carbon wheelset?

classified wheels are distributed in the uk by windwave

friday 19 january 2024

cycling variable

take a quick scan across the videos on youtube that concern the velocipedinal realm, and you will find more than just a few paying great attention to the dismemberment of the pricing structures practised by the principal members of the cycling industry. titles such as 'what the hell has happened to bicycle pricing?', 'the bicycle industry is in big trouble' and 'new bike prices are tumbling', all pay at least lip service to the turmoil we have previously discussed. the rationale behind most includes the disruption to shipping from the far east, lowered production due to covid and the documented increase in stock levels as a result.

all the above in and of themselves would have been of no real nevermind, had sales continued at even the exaggerated levels experienced during the pandemic. however, as we have also previously discussed, it seems that boardrooms were infected by a tad more optimism that would have been seemly under the circumstances. therefore, aside from youtube, the trade press has reflected similar trends across the nations and the industry has thus been blighted with portents of doom and gloom.

but, working on the principle that whatever goes down must come up (or something like that), a rise in the fortunes of the cycle industry must surely be on the cards at some time in the future? you will perhaps understand from the foregoing that nobody quite expected that situation to occur now. perhaps the bicycle is a smidgeon more resilient than we gave it credit for?

according to a recent survey by 'global market intelligence & research agency', mintel, the uk cycling market is now on the road to recovery. (despite the 'global' apellation, the report seems concerned solely with british cycling trends). beginning by stating the glaringly obvious, mintel announced that e-bikes are the most popular genre of cycle expected to be sold throughout 2024, but in a welcome state of affairs for mamils, mintel has invented the mawil (middle-aged women in lycra) to keep the former company. their research indicates that 34% of women in the 45-64 age group intend to join the national peloton.

bicycle sales in 2020, the first year attributed to the global covid pandemic were set at 3.3 million. last year, however, those sales figures had declined to a mere 1.9 million bikes, 42% below the 2020 figure. presumably it is not in mintel's remit to rationalise why those numbers are what they are, but in the thirty-something years i have been pedalling the highways and byways of the hallowed isle, proselytising my cleats off, i have attempted to persuade the non-believers to join in. with very little success. therefore, to have sold as many as 3.3 million in 2020, 1,9 million in 2023, plus the undisclosed numbers from 2021 and 2022, that's a fair number of bicycles entering the wild, particularly in a country entirely in thrall to the motor car.

in which case, in the space of four years, perhaps ten million new bicycles populated the country's cycleways. add those numbers to the theoretical number preceding those years, and it seems entirely possible that the majority of people who want to own a bicycle, now do. and when people have sufficient of any particular item, there's every likelihood that they'll stop buying more.

that said, mintel's research indicates that new bike sales in 2024 will see an increase of 15%, returning just shy of £1 billion. that, if my arithmetic is to believed, ought to return matters to where they were before the dawn of 2023. it's hard to gauge quite where this places the bicycle in the transport and leisure stakes, following a steady decline in sales since 2020. it would be extremely optimistic to reiterate that the day of the bicycle has come, particularly in the knowledge that, by september 2023, car sales had increased by 21%, rather putting paid to the theory that the oft-quoted cost-of-living-crisis had been behind declining bicycle sales.

despite what looks to me to be clear evidence against such a conclusion, mintel director, paul davies is quoted as saying, "Rising living costs have severely impacted demand for new bikes and e-bikes, which had already been suffering due to COVID-19 related supply-side issues." it would be interesting to learn how he explains the rise in sales of considerably more expensive motor cars. he later contradicts himself by saying, "The cost of living is also encouraging people to take to two wheels to get around."

the only part of this that seems less than confusing is the conclusion that a rise in participation among women is likely to result in a meaningful rise in bicycle sales, though, when interpreting this information, mr davies concedes that "Converting this interest into actual participation will require a greater focus on female audiences when developing new products and marketing campaigns."

ultimately, the only dyed-in-the-wool news to be gained from mintel's report is that some people are still buying bicycles.

thursday 18 january 2024

fleetwood mac

while contemporary society contends with the rise of the so-called deep fakes, originating at the behest of artificial intelligence, a far more mundane and less technologically advanced simulacrum has existed probably since time began. we call them 'rumours'. even as the editor of a small newspaper, almost without exception, a portion of the week has to be spent verifying news items that seem too far-fetched to be true. however, verification has to be undertaken, lest i look particularly foolish if the rumours do, in fact, turn out to be true.

over the course of the past week, distillery news has been front and foremost. ardnahoe distillery, islay's most recently constituted operational distillery, tabled proposals to make redundant the majority of their visitor centre staff, closing the restaurant and café completely but expected to retain three staff to operate the shop and offer tours of the production facility, which remains untroubled by the proposals. but what is almost certainly a rumour, concerns the sale of one of islay's other distilleries. my suspicions are based on several aspects of the business that point more to expansion, rather than sale, and the rumoured selling price, which makes the word extravagant seem insufficient.

however, as mentioned above, if it turns out to be true, i would lose all credibility were i to cast it aside as mere fiction.

rumours abound in every industry, many of which take on a life and velocity entirely of their own, seemingly spreading like wildfire despite the unlikelihood of any basis in fact. keen to exploit this state of affairs by way of experiment, a previous editor of the newspaper made several loud vocal statements concerning a closed island primary school and its attractiveness to a reputedly interested supermarket chain, when there were customers to be seen in the main office. 'twas but three days before an enhanced rumour came full circle.

professional cycle racing is hardly exempt from the rumour mill, particularly around the undefined transfer window following each year's tour de france, or, as seems to be the present case, ahead of a season that is scarcely underway.

though we're no doubt all used to seeing jumbo lease-a-bike stalwart, wout van aert and ineos grenadiers rider, tom pidcock ride with helmets sporting red bull colours, it seems that red bull ceo, oliver mintzlaff, has big plans in professional cycling, having taken a controlling financial interest in ralph denk's bora-hansgrohe team, a squad recently augmented by the transfer of primoz roglic from jumbo. according to cycling's rumour mill, mr mintzlaff intends to lure wout and remco evenepoel away from their current teams to join red bull bora hansgrohe (or whatever it's called by 2025).

obviously enough, none of the above is going to happen this year, and possibly not even next, with both riders under contract with their current teams for a year or two yet. but what might provide greater credence for this news item being little more than an incautious rumour, is surely the stature of the riders in question? roglic reputedly moved to bora-hansgrohe to allow him the opportunity to take a tilt at le tour's yellow jersey, something that had been placed out of reach at jumbo visma due to his tour-winning danish team-mate.

should remco join red bull's bora team, primoz would likely find himself back where he started, but in a different coloured jersey. wout van aert, on the other hand, seems content to attack the spring classics, having expressed little in the way of grand tour ambitions. but place all three in the same team and few of us would relish being appointed team manager and having to contend with the potentially volatile mix of ambitious egos. particularly if red bull's outsider, tom pidcock, were to be included in the paradigm.

there are, however, two ways of looking at the situation: firstly, the likelihood of all three riders, despite their undeniable professionalism (and, in at least three of the above, a reputation for being a smidgeon hot-headed on occasion), surrendering their ambitions to support one of the others, seems a tad unlikely, pointing to the probability of it being no more than a rumour. but then again, the prospect seems so incredibly unlikely, that it could well be true.

if anyone meets wout or remco in the supermarket, maybe you could ask?

wednesday 17 january 2024

huh?

in my early twenties, attempting to fashion a career as a session drummer, i opted to join the musician's union, less because i had any thoughts of fame and fortune, but more because they offered insurance for my drumset when transporting it to and from professional engagements. there were (and possibly still are), however, some mitigating exclusions in the small print, such as refraining from working alongside non-members and always ensuring that i did not accept less than the minimum stipulated rate for the job. then as now, i'm pretty sure there are many who chose to ignore those purported limitations. on the plus side, were i to have experienced difficulties when touring with bon jovi, the union possessed a legal department, the services of which were reputedly free to members.

i do frequently point out to anyone idiotic enough to stand too close, that during the union's ban on working for the bbc, never once did i appear on top of the pops.

though i still practise my percussive skills to a considerably lesser degree, i have chosen not to continue my union membership. the locale in which i have chosen to live, on the whole, suffers negligibly from the vicissitudes that once necessitated instrument insurance. it may be, however, that my first brush with institutionalisation, so to speak, encouraged my joining british cycling, once again, not in the hope that i might find myself included in the performance plan, or require a race licence for the british cyclocross national championships, but once again, for insurance.

it had been pointed out in his greatly missed two wheels column in the guardian newspaper, by matt seaton, that cyclists of all abilities ought best hold at least third party insurance, preventing unwarranted financial oppression following any unintentional physical connections with the motoring public and potential legal implications thereof. since british cycling offered this as an 'added extra' along with certain membership packages, i successfully applied for membership. though as frequently pointed out, i neither had nor have any intention of competing at any level, the alternative was membership of what, at the time, was still referred to as the cyclists' touring club (ctc). touring was not a pastime high on my to do list.

however, the latter became cycling uk in 2016, altering its trajectory just a smidgeon to conentrate more on attracting new acolytes to the velocipedinal life, and lobbying government to better their lot in the face of the apparent untrammeled growth of the motor car. the role of cycling in the age of climate change and environmental issues was also uppermost in the cycling uk mindset, while their membership also offers comparable insurance and legal benefits to those of british cycling. i have ruminated in private and within these pixels that i ought probably to switch my allegiance from bc, or widen my horizons and subscribe to both. in the best form of procrastination, those ruminations continue to this day.

however, it's eminently possible that, despite the 2016 name change, the core of cycling uk remains the ctc, modernising only sufficiently to incorporate the aesthetically challenged bikepacking. should evidence be required for this contention, i might cite the recently announced partnership with germany's ortlieb sportartikel gmbh, reputedly designed to "...create a synergy that celebrates the spirit of cycling." while i appreciate that modern financial constraints often encourage commercial/charity partnerships such as that described above, i'm afraid i fail to see how a german cycling luggage manufacturer is going to substantially alter the cycling paradigm as currently espoused by cycling uk. there will soon be, we are promised, "...a range of products and initiatives designed to empower cyclists, encourage sustainable transport and foster a stronger cycling community."

so, if i understand this correctly, despite having been in existence since 1878 and working in the best interests of their members since, suddenly partnering with a maker of (admittedly top quality) bike luggage, will result in "... a mutual vision for a future where cycling goes beyond being just a mode of transportation." i may have missed the memo, but hasn't cycling been about more than just a mode of transportation since the advent of liege-bastogne-liege in 1892?

tuesday 16 january 2024