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proper ganda

i am, by my own definition, a very hard person for whom to shop. not so much across the stretch of a year; i need stuff, just like anyone else, though as a vegetarian, there are several necessitous restrictions when it comes to food acquisition. however, though you might find counter arguments from other sources, i don't believe i'm that much different from any other cyclist in the sunday peloton.

birthdays and christmas are, of course, the most testing of times, when my protests of innocence perhaps begin to fall on deaf ears. i don't believe that singles me out as too different from the majority of readers of the post. but, in common with many other cyclists, at my advanced years, i already possess pretty much everything i need. the same goes for my percussive side, with two top quality drumsets, several snare drums, all of which are cased and more cymbals than i know what to do with. that doesn't leave much room in which to manoeuvre for mrs washingmachinepost or either of my kids when time comes to choose presents.

and then, to make matters worse, i don't really need or want anything other than the items already in my possession. if you're happy to look at bicycles and cycling as environmentally sound, ought not that to extend to personal acquisition? at the risk of coming across as overly 'preachy', could we not begin to save the world, one unnecessary possession at a time?

nonetheless, i am accepting of the knowledge that christmas in particular, is a commercial part of the year upon which many businesses and retailers depend. with 'black friday' heading ever northwards towards a month of reputed bargains, commerce is always looking for different ways of separating us from our hard-earned cash. it's not a practice upon which we should shower disdain; that's what makes the world go round. i have no idea what you all do for a living, but well do i know that if islay's population opted no longer to purchase the newspaper that occupies my working week, i'd be looking for alternative employment. it would be nice to think that we are all enticing folks to purchase products that will enhance their daily lives, but we all know that to be the stuff of fiction.

however, aside from the advertisements placed in velocipedinal print publications and their attendant websites, is it hoping for too much that the editorial content of both the above forms of media remain free from commercial proselytisation? after all, with the pages of those publications often sandwiched between advertisements, and the seemingly inevitable and increasing number of advertorials (i suppose everyone needs to make a buck, however that might be achieved), couldn't the wordy part of the equation be left unsullied?

i ask that question because i have come across more than one feature purporting to have selected potential christmas presents for the cyclists in your life. these often take the format of questions asked of the cycling magazine's members of staff (though i should point out that the practice is not confined to the velocipedinal media), each of whom will either identify an item that apparently "acted as a game-changer", or simply products they would like to find beneath the christmas tree on 25 december. unfortunately, the facade is often all too transparent, pre-fixed by a note at the top of the page advising that, "when you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission."

though reputable publications may be happy to advise readers of this on a voluntary basis, it is, in fact, a legal requirement in the usa and uk, as an essential practice for building and maintaining consumer trust. what it doesn't maintain, is the premise that the site or publication is expressing opinions that are independent of external influence (in whatever manner you choose to define those words). so when i read at the end of each choice of christmas gift, a link to an external site where i might purchase said item, i don't actually know if the publication's editor, whose opinion i might respect, has recommended the product entirely voluntarily, or because subsequent purchases might earn a few desirable pennies for the publication? (i imply no wrongdoing on the part of any individual; affiliate commissions apply to the publication).

it would be nice to think that cycling is an activity/sport that exists just outside the 'real' world, but we already know that to be a forlorn hope; the contrary can be viewed on the jerseys of our heroes every weekend and the banners that edge 'cross courses, sprint finishes and veldromes across the world. which, as a purely personal point of view, is why it would be nice to find the editorial pages and pixels free from such influence.

a guy can dream, can't he?

(that said, if affiliate commission means the difference between a publication surviving or vanishing from the shelves...)

monday 8 december 2025

what if we already know?

according to several weather forecasts, saturday was expected to be overcast, but free from rain, following friday's deluge and ferry-cancelling gales. however, with a gig in the evening at bowmore distillery, i was keen to get a little pre-percussive exercise, even if that only consisted of a quick 'cross bike ride to debbie's for lunch. it would be a foolish bike rider who headed out into the wide grey yonder without either wearing or carrying a waterproof; i am no exception, for which i am truly grateful.

with very light mizzle in the air as i dragged the crux, kicking and screaming from the bikeshed, i headed to my fate. the mizzle turned to drizzle, turned to rain, and finally to heavy rain before i'd even reached bridgend, five kilometres away.

when i finally got to debbie's for my soya latte and double-egg roll, the others in the cafe were happy to confirm that the weather had not been expected to be quite so inclement, as i silently dripped on the floor. invariably true in such cases, the return journey pretty much reversed the process, with streaks of brightness appearing on the horizon and virtually no rain as i strived to put the bike back in the shed.

the evening's festive gig at bowmore distillery (a repeat venue from last year), was great fun, the raffles raising over £700 for local charities, while i consumed more than my fair share of cheese and onion pasties. and when time came to dismantle the drums and stow them in the back of my son's van, the mizzle had returned.

i had previously e-mailed my sunday cycling colleague to advise that, following the gig, i intended to indulge in as much sleep as i could manage at one sitting, so planned only to repeat saturday's ride to debbie's and back. his reply indicated he was more than happy to do likewise. however sunday morning dawned grey and wet, with the forecast of higher winds and substantially more rain, coincidentally, at the very time we planned to ride for coffee and toasties.

with clothing still drying from saturday's escapade, though i have a reputation to uphold as someone stupid enough to ride in all manner of meteorological conditions, i really didn't fancy getting soaked once again (despite owning an entire wardrobe of quality waterproofs). so, on arising this morning, i once again e-mailed my cycling friend to advise that perhaps we should declare 'discretion is the better part of valour' as the watchword for the day and remain in the comfort of our respective homes.

his reply? "yeah, we have nothing to prove, we know we are rule five & nine. let's stay dry and revel in our glory."

to quote the mahavishnu orchestra song title, 'you know, you know.' hopefully, you know too.

sunday 7 december 2025

diluted

i'd imagine that a majority of cycling apparel purveyors/manufacturers have had to tighten their belts recently. rapha has made a financial loss for more years than i'm sure they're happy to admit, joined this year by livingston-based endura, currently owned by pentland brands; not only are both very much poorer, but both, to a perceptible degree, seem to have lost their way in recent years. not that i wish to be quoted verbatim, but it does seem a tad coincidental that both companies have suffered negative consequences following external takeovers and the sidelining, voluntarily or otherwise of their founding and guiding lights.

there have been, of course, what i believe would be colloquially referred to as financial headwinds making life harder for the bottom line, headwinds which have spread even farther afield within the cycle industry. if evidence were required, i might cite campagnolo's current woes, and the disappearance of one or two others. perhaps we should simply be grateful that both rapha and endura still exist, ready and willing to serve our every apparel requirements (except that, to a certain degree, they don't).

at least rapha's current ceo, fran millar, following the appointment of three previous incumbents who seem mostly to have presided over the company losing sight of that which originally made its fortune, seems to be aware of what once was, and that now trying to regain some of it might be a pragmatic way forward. having spent a part of her career at team sky, and as sister of former professional cyclist and broadcaster, david millar, she at least has an affinity with cycling and presumably shares our enthusiasm for both the sport and the activity. when she bleeds, it's probably in black and pink.

jim mcfarlane, founded endura in the early nineties, over ten years before rapha moved into kentish town's imperial works. the company was originally formed to design and manufacture a cycle helmet; the clothing part, though hardly an afterthought, was not the primary objective. the company was sold to pentland brands in 2018, with jim and partner pam barclay remaining in situ as directors. chirag patel, chief operating officer of pentland brands at the time of the purchase, stated, "We'll be supporting Jim, Pam and their team by giving them access to our extensive resources and network that, as a global brand management company, we can offer."

in 2022, jim and pam announced they were standing down from day-to-day management of the business. according to companies house, mcfarlane resigned as a director of the company in january of 2024, as did ms. barclay. she is now involved with ventures in the property sector, as well as the charity, endura lifecycle trust.

so what was once scotland's premier, if not only, world class cycling apparel company, now looks to be an entirely different kettle of fish altogether. the company closed down its custom clothing facility in march this year, a few years behind rapha closing down their own custom offering after a very brief period in the sun. just how much of the endura range is still produced in the livingston facility is open to discussion. however, pentland brands has claimed that it remains fully behind the brand, a commitment that may well have resulted in the current advert for a vice-president of design, though perhaps tellingly, the position will be based in london, not scotland.

and this from the company that once featured an inner-label stating 'if you think the spring classics are bad, try scotland.' i'm somewhat unsure how a designer based in london will identify with the considerably less clement weather found north of the border. it was the 'designed in scotland' badge that gave the company an enhanced credibility. however, reading through the advert only makes matters perceptibly worse. The role demands that the successful applicant "aligns to brand pillars, brand DNA, introducing innovation, and seasonal trend to the product creation process." should that be insufficient of a concern, there's always the "ability to have an aperture that widens and houses highly commercial opportunities, able to focus on innovation to unlock future success."

hardly cycling-centric language.

what is conspicuous by its absence, other than identifying the 'cycle-to-work' scheme as a travel perk, and that they are less than concerned as to what cycling genre fills the applicants' weekends, is any other mention of cycling at all. one of rapha's original designers was graeme raeburn, a man as obsessed with cycling as he was with the minutiae of apparel design. that's not to say that the person who eventually becomes endura's vp of design, won't be a dyed-in-the-wool velocipedinist with an entire peloton of bicycles in the bike shed. but would it have been too much trouble to suggest it as a highly desirable attribute when describing the role.

and while we're discussing the latter, is endura actually regarded as a 'global market leader' run by 'mavericks with a mission'?

saturday 6 december 2025

teacher says

mrs washingmachinepost works at the nursery incorporated into the nearby primary school, bringing with her over twenty-years of childminding experience. though i also teach drumming at the adjacent secondary school, that's only for a couple of hours each week; i wouldn't have her job for all the tea in china, a sentiment with which many of my female colleagues and acquaintances agree. disappointingly, she is commonly in the habit of regaling me with her days' events, even though i have no idea of whom any of those mentioned actually are. however, yesterday on my arrival from a reputed hard day at the metaphorical coal-face, she asked if i might pen a few words that she could pass onto the kids of what they should be most aware when cycling their bicycles, a request with which i was not only willing to comply, but one that i self-satisfyingly felt i was more than qualified to achieve.

unfortunately, my first question returned the answer i was hoping not to hear; asked when she required this information, she indicated it would be needed on thursday evening, ready to inform the kids on friday morning.

though i'd probably agree with the assessment that i am definitely not over-worked, at this particular time of year, i am currently assembling two successive issues of islay's community newspaper, given the lack of the usual intervening week; i am particularly poor at the art of multi-tasking. that has resulted in a gnawing desire to spend my evenings at present, watching wholly unchallenging television, if only to give the grey matter a few hours of drivel. however, recalling that baldrick from the tv comedy, blackadder invariably had a cunning plan, i opted to foster one of my own, the results of which you are about to experience.

suppose i turned the tables and enquired of my reader just what points ought to be made when attempting to inform a group of three to four year-old children as to the principal points of velocipedinal knowledge? from my own point of view, given that the majority of parents are inclined to purchase bicycles that are too large for their offspring, principally on the basis that "they'll grow into it." that might prove a practical option for teenagers, larger children who have the strength, ability and lack of perspective to attempt to ride a bicycle almost two sizes too big. not something that should really be imposed on kids less than half their age.

so, while those small children are unlikely to have had any say in the size, type or colour of bicycle with which they are presented, it should probably be pointed out that any bicycle they find themselves astride, should allow for the placement of both feet flat on the ground, or, at best, one of those feet. young children are apt to embrace the unpredictable; should they decide to come to a sudden and complete stop, it is better that they avoid falling over sideways.

and while we're on the subject of coming to a halt, so doing almost certainly requires correctly adjusted brakes. and not just having the brake shoes correctly adjusted, but the reach of the lever(s), allowing little hands to actuate the brakes in the first place. and should the worst happen and the child does actually fall over sideways, the wearing of an appropriately certificated helmet. if that helmet happens to resemble a duck's head or has furry ears, so much the better.

it probably should also go without saying that the tyres ought to be correctly inflated; from my experience, one of the most commonly neglected aspects of sending kids out on their bicycles. it's probably a bit too early to demonstrate how to correctly and efficiently, change an inner-tube, but i think it's a valuable lesson to at least show them how to check, and have an adult take care of inflating to the correct pressure.

as billy connolly is famous for including in at least one of his comedy routines, the fact that "the nights are fair drawing in", would surely entail that at the very least, wheels and pedals ought to feature reflectors: 'see and be seen'. i'm presuming that there are no parents likely to allow their young offspring to ride alone at night, therefore obviating any pressing requirement for front and rear lights.

that, quite honestly, is all i've got, so i look forward to mrs washingmachinepost returning from school to inform me that the kids were attentive and spellbound while she expounded a hopefully more entertaining version of what i've just said.

i don't hold out too much hope.

friday 5 december 2025

can't get no satisfaction

allow me, if you will, to enter the realm of the hypothetical. for narrative purposes, i'd like you to imagine that i'm in the market for a new, off-the-shelf cyclocross bicycle, intent on replacing my tried and tested specialized crux. as a regular viewer of televised cyclocross, i am aware that there seems to be little, if any, advantage professed by any particular marque, but as a luddite with a healthy respect for tradition, i have opted to aim for a ridley on the basis of their lengthy association with the sport. on the ridley website, leaving aside their configurator (which, under real-life circumstances, i'd be inclined to use), for the purposes of my hypothesis), we'll simply go for the stock offering.

on offer are two variants: the x-night rs bearing a price tag of £5,399 and the x-night sl disc at a far more amenable £3199. keen to avoid unnecessary ostentation, my hypothetical self would be most likely to opt for the latter, a bicycle featuring shimano's grx600 2x12. at this point, the hypothesis may come a smidgeon unstuck; in real life i'd actually put the web browser down and step away from the bike, intent on either finding a 'cross bike with campagnolo ekar, or a frame to which i might affix said groupset. however, to continue as we started, i'll pretend i'm ok with shimano, though if push came to shove, i'd be more inclined to favour sram.

and therein rests what i see as at least part of the problem. purely for your enlightenment, and by way of explanation, today's subterfuge was encouraged by an article on a velocipedinal media site, where the editorial team highlighted several gravel bikes which they had cherry-picked as due for upgrades in 2026. it had not previously occurred to me that such an article was in need of being written, but also led to the realisation that maybe bicycle purchasers, despite spending several thousand pounds, might not be entirely satisfied with their purchases.

though the only motor vehicles i have ever purchased were second-hand, and thus not subject to individual specification, i now wonder whether there are motorists, when choosing a new car, ask if they could have a model with upholstery in a different colour, floor mats in a contrasting shade, or alloy wheels featuring a different pattern. i'm aware that there are multiple options available when choosing a new car, but most depend on having a more robust bank account.

however, vehicular matters are scarcely of concern here, so i'll constrain myself to matters velocipedinal. it occurs that, if the aforementioned article is objectively correct, are those who recently purchased a 2025 version of one of the highlighted bicycles, now finding a hitherto unrecognised level of dissatisfaction with their purchase? as an overview of the upgrades the magazine staff expect in 2026, improvements to cable-routing at the stem, wider-range cassettes and installation of sram's universal derailleur hanger, are amongst some of the reputedly prudent upgrades. but were you already the proud owner of such as specialized's diverge, an ibis hakka, or a scott addict gravel, would you be avoiding the sunday morning ride because of such ommissions?

if the answer to the last question is yes - and i fervently hope, for your sake, that it isn't - what is wrong with you? granted, convoluted cable routing at the stem can result in additional expense for a bike-shop service, but standardising it across all brands is unlikely to change that. and how many of us question our life choices on learning that the transmission-side dropout does not feature a sram logo? it seems far more likely that said article was the result of a slow news week and the need to fulfil a quota.

at the risk that this may say more about me than it does about the bicycle industry, as a sweeping generalisation, i have learned that, when the manufacturer or distributor sends review samples accompanied by a sincere desire to hear what i thought of the product, it may come as something of a surprise to discover that rarely did they ever really mean that. let's face it, nobody designs and builds a bicycle or dye-sublimates a jersey in isolation. there are design meetings, focus groups, prototypes, pre-production samples, marketing decisions and final sign-off. by the time these things reach the cycling media and expectant customer-base, everything is pretty much set in stone.

and the timescales employed by the majority of manufacturers dictate that next year's bikes were probably prototyped in late 2023 or early 2024. so an article published on 2 december 2025 is unlikely to garner much attention in the towers of decision.

so, following the frenetic stripping of wrapping paper on 25 december, providing it's the right colour, the right size and has a functioning groupset, just shutup and ride.

thursday 4 december 2025

do as we say

in the years when i still lived at home with my parents and younger brother, he and my dad were both die-hard football/soccer fans, each supporting a different local team. my father showed support for ayr united, while my brother was (and still is), a kilmarnock fan, despite having lived in the far south west of england for most of his adult life. in presumably an agreed pattern, when one team was playing at home, the other would have an away match, meaning, in the days befiore wall-to-wall, every day football matches, they would be out each and every saturday afternoon at either somereset park, or rugby park.

the pattern was always the same: at lunchtime, we would have to suffer through an endless stream of pundits telling us which team was likely to win, across the whole of the scottish and english leagues. father and brother would then depart in all weathers to visit whichever stadium they were due to attend, before returning around 4pm. no matter which tv programme either my mother or i were watching, it was immediently relegated to the unimportant pile, while the channel was switched to allow them to watch the day's results, followed by highlights of a whole slew of football matches, usually accompanied by the sound of the lunchtime pundits explaining how and why they had managed to get things so, so wrong.

i would very much like to have typed a sentence/paragraph consisting of only two words (the end), before moving onto a more pertinent subject, but sadly, the football results were very much not the end. around 9pm or 10pm on saturday night would be broadcast match of the day, though rarely confined to a single match. since my bedroom was immediately adjacent to the sitting room, whatever i may have busied myself with at that time of the evening, it would take place to the soundtrack of (mostly) my father shouting at the television, expressing his displeasure at a missed opportunity, or, more likely, a questionable decision made by the referee. his strength of conviction could be measured by the volume at which the television was shouted at, exclamations designed to indicate the veracity of his own views on the subject.

to this day, i cannot exist in a room when a football match is being broadcast, even though there is little chance of anyone in the croft criticising the referee. i find football crowd noises every bit as excruciating as rave music.

thankfully, neither of my children ever reached the state of expressing more than simply a passing interest in soccer, though i believe my daughter now lives with her two sons and a husband who are utterly fanatical about one of scotland's top two teams. i can only hope they opt not to visit for christmas, for there's bound to be a football match forming part of the festive season. thankfully, my cycling obsession has never reached such proportions. cyclocross crowds tend mostly to accompany the sport with more musical cowbells, and i have long been of the persuasion that whomsoever crosses the line first, is quite probably the best on the day. there may be certain riders whom i would like to win, but fanaticism has no place in velocipedinal sport. it's all about the thrill of the chase.

and though cycling has replaced the referee with uci blazers, i have never found it necessary to shout at them as they perform their often mystical duties. though i have many a long year of experience within the realm of the bicycle - i've been writing this stuff for almost thirty years - i do not run a cycle manufacturing business, i have never pinned a number on my back, and i do not sell or design cycling apparel, if nothing else, underlining why i ought not to undermine the marketing or manufacturing strategies espoused by those who do. sadly, i am aware that i have a tendency to do so more often than i should.

however, with the recent news that campagnolo intends to dispense with the services of a substantial number of its employees at its vicenza headquarters, already the vultures are circling, though not necessarily to celebrate the demise of the most storied of component manufacturers, but to give their expert opinion on where campagnolo went wrong, and what they should now do to ensure their continued existence well into the future. unfortunately, the cycling media have been killing off campagnolo for decades, and often seem exasperated that just at the last minute, vicenza introduces a serious bit of kit that ensures its continuation in the short-term.

this has been common practice through most of the twenty-first century, undermined once again by the recent upgrades to wireless super record. common consent would seem to agree that campagnolo has out-shimano'd and out-sram'd their nearest competitors, though it has simultaneously been pointed out that they appear to have neglected the entry-level and mid-range in the process (an accusation which vicenza has body-swerved by admitting that just such products are in the pipeline).

given that campagnolo has been in existence since the early part of the 20th century, providing it with more experience than the combined might of its two nemeses, i'm inclined to think that the company is well aware of its shortcomings and what might prove pragmatic to solve them. the last thing it needs, is people like me, or other well-meaning cycling editors and journalists telling them what ought to be its next step. however, the world doesn't work that way; after all, there are still many football fanatics who shout at their tv sets, or catcall the referees during matches.

i don't think that'll change.

wednesday 3 december 2025

the bicycle as art

the bicycle, if you will allow such a generalisation, is, by and large, aesthetically pleasing. the double-diamond frame exhibits a certain stability of form, giving rise to confirmation that it does indeed follow function. granted, there have been a few tweeks along the way that may, or may not, bolster that functionality, but more than likely are of purely aesthetic value, masquerading as vaguley functional. within this particular paradigm, i am of course, referring to the dropped seatstays and integral cabling. i also harbour doubts over the change from the steerer/headset combination to something more akin to a hinge.

there have been numerous projects over the past few decades where reputedly bona-fide visual artists have been let loose on all manner of bicycle frames to create so-called works of artistic value. on occasion, those experiments have veered perilously close to dadaist, marcel duchamp's, exhibiting of a urinal in a french gallery. it often seems nowadays that, if an individual of reputed integrity classifies an object as of artistic value, the great unwashed are inclined to accept their word for it, and worship at the altar of velocipedinal art.

esteemed american frame-builder, richard sachs, has long identified his bicycles as tools intended purely for their original purpose, while many of us, bereft of his long-acquired skills in brazing, are apt to view them as the pinnacle of the framebuilders' art. if nothing else, that would possibly support the notion that art is in the eye of the beholder. and i do not believe that there is a page in the rule book disclaiming that functional items designed for a specific purpose, can also be regarded as art. (though there may be a paragraph or two indicating that art does not necessarily qualify as functional).

shortly after i finished art college, i visited a diploma exhibition in the former third eye centre in glasgow's sauchiehall street. one of the exhibits consisted of an office filing cabinet in which each drawer was open by a diminishing amount. the bottom drawer was fully open, while the top was only partially open; the two in between were opened in proportional amounts. each drawer was half-filled with water and inside each were rolled lengths of carpet. even as a recent art student still possessed of an unhealthy degree of pretentiousness, i could not then, nor presently, figure out what the heck that was all about.

at least bicycles are comprehensible, even if some of their associated technology is highly confusing.

viewed from a different perspective, the recently held rouleur live exhibition could be seen as an artistic endeavour, with carbon frames mounted on plinths with exorbitant price tags and several to be seen from a distance, roped off to prevent roving hands disturbing the feng shui. the sunday peloton recently questioned the purpose of high-value carbon fibre, given the possibility of accidental damage or theft; in both senses of the word, can those in cities or urban areas really afford to store or ride near £20,000 worth of bicycle?

however, the above is essentially collateral resulting from the manufacturers' attempts to gain column inches, or persuade us that the state-of-the-art machinery created for our world tour heroes, is actually well-suited to our own abilities, providing, of course, we have the requisite depth of pocket. but it seems that the bike company formerly owned by ernesto, is intent on separating form from function, as it offers four self-defined bicycle icons for auction at sotheby's auction house during collectors' week in, of all places, abu dhabi. i can't help thinking that italy might have been a more appropriate location.

the online auction ends on the evening of friday 5 december and consists of the y1rs ridden by tadej pogacar in this year's tour de france, the first numbered c68 rossa offered during the vuelta and exhibited at rouleur live with a price tag of £19,999, a c35 colnago/ferrari and a steel track bike built to eddy merckx' 1972 hour record specifications. it seems very unlikely that the purchasers of each of those iconic colnagos will ride them anywhere other than a turbo-trainer in the sitting room, or simply hang them on the wall of the mansion they must surely own to be able to afford their purchase in the first place.

art for art's sake, but not for riding in the sunday peloton.

tuesday 2 december 2025