thewashingmachinepost




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over half-way there

tree planting in mozambique

in the 2006 movie, 'the devil wears prada', meryl streep's character, miranda priestly, berates her young intern, andrea sachs (played by ann hathaway), for sniggering at the seriousness with which she treats a fashion review prior to a magazine photoshoot. she continues by pointing out how couture fashion at the leading edge, ultimately trickles down through the food chain, affecting even those who think fashion is of a world more than just socially distanced from their day to day lives.

in the years i spent at art college, there was a store in the city called 'happy trails' which proffered a dual role to its customers. the front of the shop featured clothing, while the back shop was full of second-hand vinyl records. from the front of the shop, i purchased a pair of patchwork, flared denim jeans, while from the rear, a copy of fairport convention live in sydney, australia. only a matter of months later, marks and spencer featured terylene trousers, with a patchwork denim print. the trickle down effect.

and whether we like it or not, those of us inhabiting the velocipedinal realm are also victims of fashion, either by way of purchasing the latest team jerseys as if we were soccer fans, or the very latest technical garment and/or bibshorts from any one of the principal cycling apparel companies. though any of the above would be entirely excusable if we're happy to assume that the jersey du jour has faded and completely worn out. but for the majority, that's rarely the case, leading to a comprehensive cycling wardrobe full to overflowing with garmentage that has hardly been given anything like a hard time, over many a long year.

it's not entirely the fault of the clothing providers; contemporary markets all but demand a regular supply of new product, easily witnessed by last year's jersey being offered a new range of colours or designs, yet with no technical advantage over its predecessor. it's simply the way of the world, affecting everything from cycle jerseys to motor cars, from bicycle groupsets to bottles of whisky. but this consistent newness has a concomitant effect on the environment; global carbon emissions attributed to the textile industry are second only to the oil industry.

it would be a brave cycling apparel company indeed, that produced a clothing range that never changed, providing no real reason to upgrade other than to replace worn-out garments. unless everyone else agreed to adopt the same strategy, you can see that this would be a self-imposed straightjacket that would seriously affect their bottom line and upset the company accountant.

however, there are alternative means to deal with the situation, one of which was adopted at the beginning of 2020 by scotland's endura cycle clothing. their stated aim was the planting of one million trees on an endura sponsored site in mozambique, a target that they are currently on-track to exceed by year's end. by the end of june this year, there had been exactly 619,962 trees planted on their behalf, not only reducing the amount of carbon in the earth's atmosphere, but bringing significant social benefits to the local community. endura also offer a repair service, their kit has been pfc free for the last two years, and 1% of their net profit is donated to good causes.

endura are not, however, resting on self-satisfied laurels; many of the changes required are about infrastructure and will take years to implement successfully. but, as managing director, jim mcfarlane pointed out, "We don't have the luxury of time. Once the ice-caps have melted, you're not going to re-freeze them any time soon."

closer to home, endura are also planting native species of trees in scotland. "There's no sense of complacency at Endura," said brand director, pam barclay. "We continue to work hard, but our brand has a long way to go."

at the risk of undermining anyone's marketing campaign or branding, you and i can probably do our own bit for the same planet. though cycling, by and large, is regarded as inherently 'green', that reputation can always be improved. perhaps you could argue with yourselves just a bit more when the lates mailshot arrives in your inbox. do you really need another jersey/pair of bibshorts, or would those in the wardrobe last a few months longer?

and yes, it probably has actually come to that.

endura cycle clothing

monday 3 august 2020

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a good day to ride

a good day to ride

scotland appears to have had its summer during the early days of lockdown, probably the latter part of april, through the majority of may, but since then, it's been a bit wishy-washy to say the least. having repainted the garden fence in the month of may, i was well-aware that one side required a second coat of paint, a requirement that has yet to be fulfilled. and for once in my career, this has not been due to a singular lack of application.

according to the tin, the paint/wood preserver, demands at least three hours drying time, but each day that has passed in between, when not at work, has promised or threatened considerably less than those 180 minutes. the last time the fence was re-painted, some two years ago, i spent an hour on a saturday morning, prior to the daily cycle, painting one side of the fence, only to be greeted with heavy drizzle as i finished the task, promptly washing away every last bit of covering from the wood. as this stuff is not particularly inexpensive, wasting half a can is not an exercise i'm keen to repeat anytime soon.

the weather, however, has impinged not one whit upon my cycling escapades, equipped as i am with sufficient quantities of state-of-the-art waterproofing. granted, the bicycle quickguards reviewed in the final months of 2019 were removed during the glorious days of sunshine referred to above, if only because they seemed a tad incongruous when there was scarcey a cloud to be seen. and though, as the name suggests, they can be fitted quite quickly, it rarely seems to rain suitable far in advance of perambulation, meaning a possibly unwelcome delay to the joys of cycling. if i'm going to get wet, i might as well do it properly.

during the extended, highly uncharacteristic warm and sunny days of early lockdown, i was regularly met with comments centred around "it's a grand day for cycling, is it not?, almost always when the remainder of the day was to be spent in the office. i'm sure those remarks were simply meant to tantalise, hopefully without malics aforethought. conversely, when downpours occur, as they did with a vengeance yesterday afternoon, those comments tend to change to "not much of a day for cycling today", or, more commonly, "are you off your head?"

but in truth, every day is a great day for cycling, and possibly more so for those who spent several weeks confined to a bedroom or garage, fastened to a smart turbo, exploring the nooks and crannies of watopia. the relief experienced when adjudged safe to return to the highways and byways, i can only imagine.

though i won't bore you with the details, this past week has been fraught with technical problems relating to laser printers, and not just on one of the blighters. thus, when my regular friday afternoon ride to debbie's beckoned, thinking twice was not on the agenda. and this in spite of the weather forecast turning out to be somewhat inaccurate, featuring galeforce winds that should have died away prior to lunch,and heavy precipitation that had been euphemistically described as 'light rain'.

it may be that the government's new-found enthusiasm for cycling has led to the promise of the activity being available on prescription, even if intended as a means of weight loss. but as i gleefully endured a solid headwind up uiskentuie strand, splashed by passing cars and showered by heavy rain, any woes accrued during the working week were washed away as quickly as the sand on the road. perhaps that prescription ought to be extended to include reasons other than as part of a calorie controlled diet? even when weather conditions are less than pristine, you should count your good fortune that you're a cyclist, because everyone else is simply putting up with wind and rain, perhaps with little else to look forward to.

it's never a bad day for cycling.

saturday 1 august 2020

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boris bikes

boris johnson

almost by definition, i am a-political; very much of the opinion that anyone who holds a desire to become a politician and stand for public office, probably ought to be barred from doing so. this pretty much paraphrases a similar accusation aimed at members of the student union during my art college days. and to contrivedly link that to another aspect of the same discussion, the college at which i studied shared grounds with an adjacent school of architecture. the latter was infrequently visited by inmates of the art college for the more popular lectures, due to the greater size of their lecture theatre.

indicative of something, though i'm not sure what, while budding artists, sculptors and designers were consigned to four years' study to achieve a degree certificate, architects equalled medical students in having a further three years' study over and above. several strata of modern life require at least a modest period attending a college of higher or further education to realise a qualification allowing work in a chosen career path. lawyers, electricians, plumbers, journalists etc., etc. yet, the man currently leading the uk has no specific qualifications so to do. many other members of parliament, both south and north of the border occupy a similarly unqualified position.

the sunday peloton, perhaps in common with many others across the country, rarely discuss bicycles at all, despite accusations to the contrary. but one topic that has frequently recurred of late, is a common contention that would-be politicians ought surely to have need of studying politics to at least degree level, before they're allowed anywhere near a polling booth? it seems a particularly sensible pre-requisite, and probably why it will never happen.

the recent announcement by the government of £2 billion funding towards active travel - by any other name, walking and cycling - was, not unnaturally, announced in person by the prime minister, accompanied, as usual by a bicycle. boris johnson has previous form as a champion of the velocipede, with those of london's ubiquitous hire scheme often mistakenly referred to as 'boris bikes'. and either boris, or perhaps his political adviser, dominic cummings, has obviously paid attention to bicycle lore. in an image seen earlier this week, mr johnson stood proudly by a boardman hybrid bicycle, with the chain seen clearly to be in the big ring.

nothing displays a sense of power more than the chain in the big ring.

however, at this point, my incomprehension of bicycle marketing took an even greater downward turn. as i have pointed out on previous occasions, when you consider just how much money is spent by the world's largest cycle marques on world tour team sponsorship, this is scarcely reflected in their press advertising. pinarello may have implied sponsorship of team ineos, featuring red and black painted dogmas in double-page press ads, but rarely, if ever, have i seen pinarello ads featuring geraint thomas or egan bernal. a similar situation would seem to apply to the majority of others, such as colnago, canyon et al.

yet manchester bike brand insync were particularly quick off the mark to highlight boris johnson's ride in manchester aboard one of their viking pro bicycles, supplied by nottingham's bike lounge. though the polls currently show the conservatives with substantially greater public support than the other parties, there's no doubt that boris seems to have generated more negative publicity on his own behalf than any of the other party leaders. in which case, i'd question the logic of trumpeting (pardon the pun) the fact that the prime minister had been photographed riding an indian made bicycle.

chairman and managing director of hero motors, parent company of hero cycles, in turn, owners of insync bikes, pankaj m munjal, said, "Insync is delighted that the Prime Minister rode one of our Viking bikes, after announcing what will be a landmark moment for cycling in the UK."

it's perhaps notable that boardman bikes appear not to have followed suit in conjunction with the big ring moment.

friday 31 july 2020

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code of conduct

campervans

during last sunday's perambulation of the estates, having been joined by a couple of riders visiting from scotland, i dropped back a few lengths to remain with one of the visitors, who was struggling a bit at the back of the peloton. it seems decidedly inhospitable to invite folks to join in the festivities, then simply ride off into the sunset and leave them to their own devices.

foreland estate, no longer one of the island's major players, still features a walled garden, entrances to which exist at the bottom of the hill and again near its summit, allowing for both pedestrian, cycle and or motor traffic to enter. as we descended the hill, on our way to excellent coffee, a small motor car with a kayak on the roof, exited the lower access point without so much as a by-your-leave, or even a look in our direction. though the hill is not particularly steep (it tops out briefly at 9%), or long, it does offer the opportunity to reach into the thirties (kilometre wise), assuming an absence of traffic heading up the hill.

though we observed the above mentioned car from a safe distance, my brake fingers are always itchy at this point ever since a car pulled out in front of me at that exact spot a couple of years ago. thankfully, a potentially injurious accident was avoided, but the driver simply continued on his/her merry way, probably unaware i'd even been there in the first place.

when coffee and cake has been satisfactorily feasted on, and we have almost reached home, following a consummate swoop from shore street into main street, on a saturday afternoon in particular, it's not at all uncommon to come across pedestrians wandering across the street, apparently oblivious to our impending arrival.

and if i might briefly return to foreland hill, as i recently ascended for the afternoon section of my saturday bike ride, i dipped into the aforementioned garden access entrance to allow motor vehicle to pass. following it up the hill, a vehicle approaching from the top, kindly pulled into a passing place to allow the lead car to continue, but then ungraciously pulled out as i reached the passing place, forcing me to move over to allow its descent. had it remained in place for a matter of a few seconds more, i'd have been on my way.

the above situation is a common occurrence, probably for every cyclist in the land, but that hardly makes it any easier to accept. i'm not contending that cyclists are innocent in all this; i'm sure i've made my fair share of errors over the years, and i've certainly seen others do so. we all use the same roads, so we all need to pay attention to keep us safe.

there will doubtless be many motorists who are incensed by the government's cash present to those of us who indulge in active transport, such as walking and cycling, figuring that the implementation of new cycle paths will impinge on their freedom to park where they want, or to drive unfettered at speeds not always within the letter of the law. the majority will simply take it in their stride, possibly aware of the monetary imbalance between government spending on roads, and that dished out in favour of cycling and walking. but the vocal minority will, once again, call for licensing of cyclists, midst telling us to start paying 'road tax'.

however, there's little doubt that any coming together between one tonne of high-speed steel and a cyclist or pedestrian, is only ever going to end in tears from either of the latter. as a result, following fiscal largesse in favour of active travel, the uk government has announced a consultation into the highway code as it currently stands. this consultation applies to all the nations comprising the united kingdom and will address what the government has referred to as, 'the hierarchy of responsibility'. this will hopefully ensure that road users who cause the greatest harm taking greater responsibility to reduce the threat they pose to others. as interim ceo of 'living streets', jenni wiggle commented, "The Highway Code currently treats all road users - from children walking to lorry drivers - as if they are equally responsible for their own or other people's safety. However, people walking cause the least road danger, but are often left paying the price."

thus, drivers of large motor vehicles ought surely take their fair share of responsibility to reduce the danger they pose?

however, this has not been framed as a means of apportioning blame, something that, in any case, would likely achieve a negative result. but there are proposals to change priorities at zebra crossings, giving pedestrians greater rights of way. as ms wiggle said, "Whether we choose to drive or cycle, we are all pedestrians. The proposed revisions will benefit all of us."

quite how this will impact more remote rural areas, such as islay, is somewhat unclear at present, particularly in the knowledge that there's not a single pedestrian crossing on the island. nor, indeed, are there any trafiic lights or roundabouts. reality would dictate, however, that we'll probably still find the majority of motor cars pulling out at junctions and expressing no desire to remain motionless in a passing place even in the face of cyclists in close proximity. it's just the way that it is.

however, to end on a positive note, there is a standing joke amongst the local peloton that, on the loch gorm road, close to kilchoman distillery, there has been a motorhome and an audi suv stuck facing each other since late last summer, neither with the faintest idea of how to reverse (sadly, this is perilously close to reality). the islands of colonsay and tiree do not allow moorhome or caravan owners to travel to their islands, unless they have a booked slot at an official campsite. until yesterday, that has not been the case for islay. but campaigning by the islay and jura ferry committee, supported by local councillors, has at last borne fruit, with transport scotland having now agreed to issue a temporary ban for the remainder of this year's summer season.

should any of you be planning on heading in our direction in a motorhome or with caravan in tow, you will now require to show evidence of a bona-fide booking prior to embarking the ferry. this will hopefully mean not only no more enormous vehicles parked here there and everywhere, but a drastic reduction in those met during the sunday bike ride.

thursday 30 july 2020

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a case of neglect

cycling uk - joolz dymond

currently, i have two similarly sized, specced and coloured bicycles sitting forlornly behind the bike shed. they have sat there for almost two weeks, neither in a suitable state of mechanical repair to actually go anywhere. though i have drastically minimised the amount of repair work i've been willing to undertake over the last few years, mostly due to a lack of available time or space, there are still neighbours who bring their bicycle shaped objects to my attention. the two referenced above arrived having been described to me as "wheels needing repair"; sleight of hand, by any other standard.

the problem, as many shop mechanics will be well aware, is the level of componentry fitted to these blue and orange 'bicycle-shaped objects', oem componentry mostly unavailable to the likes of you and me. therefore, faced with a 165mm, plastic-covered crankset with stripped pedal threads, i have little option but to source from commercially available componentry. add in a trashed gear mech and lack of a chain on one, a completely rusted chain on the other, and a need for new pedals on both, add in labour and postage, and i kid you not, that the estimated cost of repair exceeds the price of purchasing one brand new 'bicycle-shaped object'. considering both bicycles belong to one child, i have recommended replacement, but await the parental decision.

cycling uk has announced its willingness to assist with the government's recently announced intention to overhaul walking and cycling, by implementing a bicycle 'triage' via its dr. bike service, commencing from the middle of next month. james scott, cycling uk's director of behaviour change (i kid you not) said they'd be "fixing minor repairs and checking to make bikes safe and roadworthy". while this appears to be a laudable intention, one does wonder how it will be welcomed by bricks and mortar bike shops, many of whom depend on repair work to put energy bars on the table. mr scott, on his best behaviour, claims that this will "take the brunt off retailers enrolled in the (government announced) voucher scheme, leaving them to repair the bikes which need a bit more tlc, than an on-the-spot repair can provide."

that's always assuming the said retailers have the need or desire to have the brunt removed in the first place.

however, according to cycling uk, in a display of nationalism that rather belies their 'uk' suffix, england is home to an estimated 16.5 million unused and neglected bicycles sitting in hallways and sheds. these bicycles are reckoned mostly to suffer from 'loose brakes, skipping gears or incorrect saddle height', the very aspects of cycling life with which cycling uk's 'big bike revival' was designed to cope. but i think we can be fairly sure that these ghost bikes do not feature the words 'pinarello, colnago, or basso on the downtubes. many may well have been sidelined either through incorrect intial assembly, or, following payment of £49.99 to an advert in the weekend colour supplement, the darned things simply didn't work, or broke very quickly.

a bit like the two bicycles sat behind thewashingmachinepost bike shed.

but, despite my poking fun at james scott's job title, one of my sunday morning colleagues has frequently pointed out that any appreciable increase in the number of uk residents adopting the bicycle over motorised transport, will depend on a substantial change of mindset or behaviour. many in the cycling press and on social media seemed convinced that the dramatic increase in cycling during lockdown, allegedly proven by the waiting lists for cycle repairs and tales of bike shops running out of stock. but quite frequently, people are their own worst enemies, keen to latch on to what has been defined as an emerging trend, only to drop it like a hot potato when previous habits become more enticing.

it was noticeable that this cycling 'boom' coincided with a period of warm, sunny weather, allied to a lockdown situation that encouraged many to eschew public transport. i think it likely that most of you reading this probably benefit from a wardrobe full of state-of-the-art cycling apparel, including more than one robust, breathable waterproof, accompanied by an over-riding need for the bike. though i may be guilty of generalising, i think many of those who adopted cycling during lockdown are likely only to own a water-resistant 'regatta' branded cagoul, with distinct displays of hydrophilia.

come october or november, when the weather becomes cooler, wetter and windier, cycling uk may have to revise upwards, their estimate of the number of bikes sitting unwanted and neglected in hallways and sheds. i think it's likely to take a great deal more effort to change the behaviour of a car obsessed nation, than government announcements of funding largesse aimed at cycling and walking.

photo: joolz dymond

wednesday 29 july 2020

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a bad case of wind

model peloton

the first weekend of lockdown, two of us still perambualted the estates of a sunday morning, secure in our conviction that advice to avoid riding in groups extended further up the numerical ladder. subsequent investigations informed us that, strictly speaking, any number greater than one fell into the 'group' category, leaving us pretty much up a well-known creek with no visible means of propulsion. so, in order not to incur the ire of any members of the resident population, and despite having been cheerfully informed at the outset, that any absence from weekend riding would have indicated things were more serious than expected, we forwent any further 'group' rides, pedalling individually from thereon in for the next thirteen or fourteen weeks.

of course, as the virus took its insolent course across the united kingdom, government advice altered to take account of an apparently lessening danger, and we once again, resumed a breakaway group of two each sunday morning. saturdays, however, were still reserved for individual effort. while traffic remained enjoyably sparse even in the latter days of lockdown, any meeting between motor cars and bicycles obviated any concerns over social-distancing (given that there was a car between them and us), and while the island remained more or less covid free, we were unconcerned about transmission between the two of us, mostly because we figured any antibodies would be too knackered to bridge the gap between bicycles.

those days of lessening restrictions brought a number of others from the sunday peloton out on the regular parcours, though not always traversing in the same direction. though i do not feel i have to explain myself, the need to continually ride the same route had a great deal more to do with coffee than any desire to witness the same scenery on a regular basis. lockdown on islay brought with it restrictions on non-essential travel, essentially disallowing other than key workers and island residents to use the ferries. this resulted in a reduction of sailings including the disappearance of sunday sailings.

since the sunday newspapers reach islay's shores by way of the calmac ferry, no sunday sailing meant no sunday papers and thus no immediate need for debbie's to open any earlier than lunchtime. tautologically, almost any sunday morning route we had in mind, would almost always bring us to the coffee shop patio in advance of opening hours. a traditional scottish summer rarely consists of wall to wall sunshine, meaning every likelihood of sitting outside in the rain while awaiting opening hours. a long way for a shortcut, but the briefest explanation i can manage as to why we continued to go round in the same circles.

however, sunday past saw a dramatic increase in the size of our peloton, with the addition of two visiting from dunfermline, and more of our original number taking advantage of a favourable wind, if you catch my drift? seven is the largest peloton we've had since late february, with the promise of more returning to the fold over the next few weeks.

of course, having once annointed ourselves as 'masters of the echelon', it is now incumbent on these increased numbers to learn the skill all over again. thankfully, there seems little diminution of wind strength to facilitate real-time practice.

tuesday 28 july 2020

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