sat in the office, i am but an arm's stretch from a telephone, and the situation is no dfferent when sat at home. when i'm out on my bike, i'd really rather that no-one phoned me. that's at least one of the reasons as to why i do not own a smartphone. and while i have tried not to appear smug in my ludditity, i cannot deny that, on learning of my smartphone-free existence, more than just a few have been moved to express admiration for my stance. sadly, it's not a stance of any import. but just to redress the balance, almost as many have enquired how i manage to exist without such a communication device.
to be honest, it's really not that hard.
given this singular failure to join the rest of you in the 21st century, you might well ask why i would concern myself with a bicycle accessory that promises to safely fasten a mobile phone to either stem or handlebars. well, man of the world that i pretend to be, i'm not unaware that many others have either chosen or been required to fasten their careers and leisure time to the strictures and advantages of the modern-day smartphone. it has scarcely escaped my attentions, that fellow members of the velo club peloton are wont to draw such devices from a rear pocket to snap a photo of the waves at saligo, an overhead sea-eagle, or the slice of cherry cake accompanying the coffee du jour.
for my sins, i generally tote a compact digital camera for such tasks. more fool me.
however, for those who have no wish or need for a dedicated gps device fastened to the bars, there are more than just a few smartphone apps designed to record speed, distance, location or any other amount of pointless data on which strava thrives. and there are others for whom more than a few minutes spearated from their phone, would likely result in uncontrollable palpitations. and then there are those who actually have need of a phone for undefined but necessary reasons. in which case, carrying a smartphone in a rear pocket might not be the easiest means of keeping an eye on that data or answering calls and/or texts. and indeed, if the speaker on the phone is of sufficient volume and quality, it would surely be possible to listen to an art blakey or king crimson album en-route?
there are, to be fair, a sizeable number of brackets, slots and clamps designed to clasp a phone close to their hearts. what separates the shapeheart bracket from its peers, is probably the use of a magnet to keep the phone pointing in the direction of travel, or set at right angles for information that requires a smidgeon more screen space. the shapeheart kit consists of a fabric pouch, featuring a clear plastic window on one side and a large, round, metal plate affixed to the rear. an envelope flap at one end allows the owner to place and remove the phone. shapeheart state that this 'envelope' is weatherproof, though i'm none too sure that it would survive a galeforce-driven hebridean downpour. still, many modern-day phones feature their own levels of waterproofing, so your mileage may vary.
the stem/handlebar bracket, contains a remarkably powerful magnet onto which the metal plate on the rear of the case is placed. the bracket fits to either handlebar or stem by means of a small, yet sturdy bungie cord. the kit arrives replete with a spare bungie and a thin spacer to fit 'neath the bracket should its circumference be less than optimal. everything can be placed inside a small, shapeheart monogrammed carrying bag.
i tried the windowed case with three different iphones, all of which fitted easily into the envelope, even when they themselves were cossetted by protection cases. one phone failed to respond to any finger-based input, though it transpires this had more to do with the protective screen on the phone, than any failing on behalf of the constitution of the shapeheart window. the others worked perfectly, switching on and off with ease, opening, closing and operating apps without a hitch. i even placed an admittedly smaller ipod inside, which worked exactly as i'd hoped.
but the whole point of the shapeheart casing and bracket, is surely to safely retain your probably very expensive smartphone, on which your entire life resides, safely upon your bicycle's cockpit, not only in clear view, but easy to operate in most situations. i confess i had no rain in which to test (honest, i really didn't), but to give it a very hard time in the retention stakes, i fitted the bracket to the stem of my 'cross bike and headed, at speed, across 5km of rough and ready farm track. during this process, i made no attempt to avoid any shallow, deep or medium potholes in the gravel, bouncing through them all with unabashed glee.
the phone moved not a single millimetre, which is more than can be said for the rider. and so powerful is that magnet that, to remove the phone at the end of the test ride, i'd to grasp hold of the bracket and manhandle the encased phone sideways and slide it free. though cyclists are not renowned for their upper body strength, i simply couldn't pull the casing directly off the magnet. that ticks every relevant box that i can think of.
the shapeheart casing is available in three different sizes, each with an attendant list of smartphones that fit. with free delivery on offer at present, the complete kit for one smartphone retails at €29.95, with spare cases available separately. though i'm very unlikely to acquire a smartphone of my very own in the foreseeable future (mrs washingmachinepost's iphone was the guinea-pig for the duration of the review), for the majority who are already thus tethered, this strikes me as a highly pragmatic and economical solution to what may be a problem for many a cyclist, sporting or commuter alike.
shapeheart smartphone bike mount
wednesday 3 march 2021
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