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please don't think less of me

i like a nice slice of irony every bit as much as the next cyclist, but i'm perhaps just a smidgeon less in favour when the irony points directly at me. tomorrow sees the umpteenth running of the ride of the falling rain, a bike ride that quite frequently does exactly what it says on the tin. according to the current weather forecast for sunday, that's looking like a repeat performance for 2024.

however, aside from the bike ride itself, it often doubles as a bit of a family get together, where those of us domiciled on the island all year round, gain a chance to meet with friends we've made over the years. one such couple, missing in action last year, contacted me earlier this week to advise of their travel plans and expectations of arrival at the centre of the known universe. in so doing, we arranged that i would meet up with them at debbie's sometime early on friday afternoon, following my intention to play hooky from the office for possibly the third time this week.

unfortunately, the weather for friday was rather similar to that forecast for sunday, though it did offer the possibility of a reduction in rainfall around the time i'd arranged to meet. sadly, as is often the case with weather forecasts, particularly in the hebrides, only thirty minutes before the witching hour, the rain looked very unlikely to cease, leading me to contact my friends and advise that i might be somewhat tardy in my appearance, as i thought it better to wait and see if the rain relaxed sufficiently to allow safe passage.

you can, i presume, see the glaring irony of the situation?

i have possibly over-egged the pudding in past times, contending that i will always go cycling in any weather conditions, providing they do not challenge my safety. rain is hardly worth mentioning; that's what waterproofs are for. however, my cavalier attitude to all things meteorological arrive with certain conditions, and i have frequently stated that, were i to be in the throes of a daily commute, i may hold an entirely different opinion. for the most part, however, those of us in the velo club are guilty of simply going round in circles before heading home for a hot shower and a change of apparel.

it is, i'm sure you'll agree, an entirely different matter to ride only 14km in pouring rain at the end of which is a froth-topped coffee and a catch-up chat, all the while conscious that i am creating a small swimming pool on the floor of debbie's café. given that the expected conversation was unlikely to consist of race-winning strategies, a solution to the world's political follies, or just why the canyon aeroad was being positioned as the "fastest bike in the peloton", it did seem a bit eccentric (to say the least) to endure a thorough soaking, simply for a convivial conversation about nothing in particular.

yes, i hear you say, it would have been the ideal acclimatisation for sunday's portent over a considerably longer distance, but it is also necessary for me to take into account the severe admonishment i'd receive from mrs washingmachinepost, when dripping all over the kitchen floor on my return. though i have inculcated substantial velocipedinal enthusiasm ahead of this year's 'ride of the falling rain', it's more than possible that one can be blessed with too much of a good thing.

since it's august, i'm quite willing to accept the slings and arrows of meteorological discontent, but woe betide anyone who points that particular finger come november and december.

this will be the last post until monday or tuesday, as my weekend is once again, interspersed with the joys of drumming on saturday ahead of the 'falling rain' on sunday. there are, as is frequently pointed out, only so many hours in the day.

saturday 3 august 2024

design is a good idea

much as i would love to take the credit for the heading above the image, it was, in fact, originated by zuzanna licko and rudy vanderlans of emigré a digital type foundry based in california. emigré was originally the title of a graphic design magazine produced in the early to mid 1990s by licko and vanderlans, about which i learned from the fellows who once produced ride bmx magazine. in common with those gentlemen, i harboured appreciation for the design work of david carson, the originator of 'raygun', the pages of which offered fairly radical graphics and typography (for the time). 'raygun' is famous for publishing an interview with bryan ferry, printed entirely in wingdings, a typeface that consists entirely of graphic symbols. reading the article in its entirety, relied on the reader's tenacity for looking up each individual character from a glyphs palette.

however, the 'design is a good idea' was a slogan applied to t-shirts, mousemats (remember those?) and notebook covers, encouraging the passing on of its double meaning. ironically, on subscribing to emigré magazine (sadly, now defunct) i was just a tad dismayed to discover that my first issue (#39) was entirely text based, with not a smidgeon of graphic design to be seen - or so i thought. for those of you who recall those halcyon days of yore, or who were scarcely around at the time, there is an apple macintosh app available from the mac app store that allows persual of each and every issue of emigré.

happy days.

however, it would be false to suggest that, while design might indeed be a good idea, it is other than an entirely subjective matter. you may, in fact, visit the emigré website and truthfully wonder what all the fuss is about, in much the same way as listening to a king crimson recording. however, as a process, design is indeed, a good idea, and a process that was once integral to the production of a bicycle, though obviously constrained by certain physical factors. let's face it, those butcher's bicycles with the basket on the front and featuring a small front wheel, were a major handful in crosswinds due entirely to the panel beneath the top tube advertising the name of the butcher for whom you were delivering sausages and a rump steak to mrs clitheroe in kyle street.

that's not necessarily to infer that modern-day bicycles are any less the subject of design parameters than their antecedents, but those factors seem to be less and less at the behest of what we might term aesthetics, and far more at the mercy of computer fluid dynamics and wind-tunnel testing. no longer are we treated to ornately cast or carved steel lugs, but often flat-topped carbon and serrated seat tubes, all the better to even out the airflow behind a pair of flailing, lycra-clad legs.

with the exception of a select few, were colnago to release the c40 tomorrow, the majority of enticed velocipedinists would think ernesto had taken leave of his senses. no dropped seatstays, no tapered headtube, no flat sections on any of the less than oversized tubing. there have been many youtube videos appearing over the last few days, testifying to the alleged greatness of canyon's new aeroad, but the fawning has been substantially different from those of us who still appreciate a frameset such as colnago's steel arabesque, or the chromium-molybdenum gios vintage blue (incidentally, the only bicycle in the gios range to be currently sold out).

where the bulk of modern-day housing is built to a budget, there seems also to be remarkably few bicycles that arise at the behest of aesthetics, rather than scientific and mathematic principles. in musical terms, today's bicycles 'have no soul', principally because anything that results from extensive wind-tunnel testing has very little in common with james brown or the earth, wind and fire brass section. and that could well be the reason why pinarello provided custom painted bolide f tt bikes to riders participating in the paris olympic road time trial in a vain attempt to hide just how hideous looking they truly are.

friday 2 august 2024

the way to go

be honest; how many of you knew? how many of you left the car in the garage or driveway, or opted not to stand at the bus stop awaiting the arrival of a number seven into the town centre? and you would have done either of the above because...?

according to an e-mail i received yesterday from cycle and e-bike insurer, cycleguard, the first thursday in august has been irrevocably designated as the uk's national cycle to work day, a state of affairs i confess i had not added to my calendar of events. and, judging from a quick survey of those who were insufficiently quick to avoid me as i opted for a double-espresso this afternoon, few others were aware of cycle to work day either. purely in the interests of research, i popped out for yet another coffee this afternoon, allowing me to check on a couple of vehicles en-route.

a young fellow, who stays very close to the croft and who works at the local leisure centre, inexplicably drives to work, a trip that takes less than five minutes on foot. many other vehicles seen close by, also belong to village residents, a village (as i have advised on oh so many previous occasions) which can be traversed from one end to the other, in less than fifteen minutes, by placing one foot in front of the other. so why would young, fit and healthy individuals opt to drive such minimal distances?

in short, because it's too easy. and patently obviously, too cheap.

on tuesday morning, i was contacted by an engineer of my acquaint, who is responsible for the upgrade works being undertaken at two of the ports that form a part of the islay and jura ferry service. a meeting with a member of the islay ferry committee had been cancelled due to illness, and he wondered if i was free for a catchup at the island's gaelic centre, only two kilometres from the office.

i replied in the affirmative, walked back to the croft to collect my cyclocross bicycle, and cycled to the centre. the gentleman concerned, as it happens, had trained to participate in this year's unboud gravel event in kansas, in which he had been feeling confident and fresh after riding through the night, only to have the wheels taken from under him by a stray dog, ending up with broken ribs and a highly disappointing end to his first cycling trip in america's central state.

however, i am very much of the (probably mistaken) impression that, if an old fart such as myself can undertake an unplanned, last-minute bike ride over a slightly greater distance than any required for daily work or school by any other village resident, then pretty much any healthy individual could do likewise.

so when along comes a single, solitary day when they might indulge in minimal exertion, even as a token gesture, why don't they? well, there's a couple of obvious reasons.

the first one is an almost total lack of publicity for national bike to work day. even the guardian newspaper, a publication that has often demonstrated favourable leanings towards the velocipedinally inclined, featured not a single word about today's expectations of motor cars left derelict in favour of the bicycle. my sunday morning colleagues and i have already been found guilty of searching for the opening races in the exact cross, badkammers trophee, superprestige and uci world cyclocross championship. we know when la vuelta begins (in lisbon on 17 august), and i have been contacted by several cyclists intent on participating in this sunday's ride of the falling rain. but none of us were previously aware that today was britain's national bike to work day, nevermind the purported fact that it happens on the first thursday of august each year. and we're probably the very folks who ought to know for reasons of proselytisation.

somebody possibly needs to sort that out.

but secondly, i have learned that the majority of individuals are, as am i, creatures of habit. if the daily grind is reached by motor car or bus each and every working day, it's going to take a darned sight more than one day a year to change that. in fact, the habit factor is predominantly that which will prevent the vast majority from paying any attention to a bicycle on that solitary thursday each august. and let's face it; most of us are inordinately lazy. climbing into the car every morning is just too easy and involves very little effort. it's a lot harder to get the bike out the bikeshed, pump up the tyres and actually pedal between home and work, with the prospect of having to repeat the effort at day's end.

maybe double, triple or quadruple the advance publicity (was it mentioned in cycling weekly? did my copy of cyclist magazine feature the demands of 1 august?) and apply it to, at the very least, cycle to work week, or, better still, cycle to work month. then we might begin to get somewhere. if this were a report card, not only would i be remiss in writing good (or fair) effort, but it would be gross dereliction of duty to sign off with a rather benign, "see me after class".

to be honest, those responsible ought to get detention.

thursday 1 august 2024

inspiration

when i was a lad, despite my father's disparagement of drumming as a musical pursuit in which i ought not to involve myself ("not a musical instrument"), i recall being allowed to stay up a tad later than usual to watch parkinson. in the case in question, this was specifically because michael parkinson's special guest for the evening was buddy rich, a man renowned for his humorous yet forceful appearances on letterman in trhe usa. on each and every appearance on both sides of the atlantic, following the chat section of the show, buddy rich would appear with his band to play one or two tunes, interspersed with the usual consummate drum solos.

as a boy barely into my teens, such a display of percussive pyrotechnics was jaw-dropping, particularly in light of my remarkably limited comprehension of the art of drumming. watching buddy was likely to elicit one of two options; either i would think it unlikely i could ever reach such extraordinary levels and thus consider an alternative instrument, or, as was the case, i could see that buddy rich was human, just like me, therefore, with practice, i could perhaps get close to his abilities.

of course, as i got older, and more familiar with the skills necessary to play the drums at even a competent level, the dawning realisation that buddy rich probably wasn't human after all, did nothing to dampen the enthusiasm engendered by having watched him on that particular edition of parkinson. at a later date, the buddy rich big band performed in glasgow's pavilion theatre on renfield street, just opposite the sadly demised apollo theatre. unfortunately our seats were about as far from the stage as it was possible to sit, so while the sound was as joyous as ever, it wasn't possible to witness each and every lightning fast single-stroke roll.

though my drumming hero subsequently became bill bruford, buddy rich will always remain the original inspiration, currently demonstrated by way of the larger of my two drumsets, which features a marine pearl finish, a bass drum mounted ride cymbal and tom toms of precisely the same dimensions as those of mr rich.

similarly, it is undeniable that prince bradley's performance in the 2012 london olympics and tour de france will have enthused many apprentice cyclists, possibly as young as was yours truly on watching that parkinson performance all those (very) many years ago. and there's little doubt that the bradley bubble had a similar effect on adult cyclists, even those who possibly had little or no interest in attempting to go fast on a bicycle. should evidence be required, you need only take note of the subsequent rapid increase in british cycling's membership numbers. of course, for many, the enthusiasm virus bears a statute of limitations; the further away we get from 2012, the more the effect is diluted. (and possibly more so on learning of his recent bankruptcy).

buddy rich died in april 1987 at the age of 69, though his legacy persists to this minute through a vast library of youtube videos, recordings and the continued enthusiasm of boring old farts such as myself. it's possible that the very nature of professional cycling mitigates against such longevity of inspiration; there's always a new kid on the block. if it's not jonas vingegaard, then it's tadej pogacar. and before too long, it'll probably be remco evenepoel. but for british riders, it might just be tom pidcock.

the leeds born rider has a successful road career with the ineos grenadiers, already having won solo atop alpe d'huez only a matter of years ago. however, pidcock's rise to fame was wrought through an early career on the uk domestic cyclocross scene before proving every bit as adept on the continent, recognised as one of the big three (along with mathieu van der poel and wout van aert). but given the similarities between cyclocross and cross-country mountain biking, pidcock capitalised on his offroad skills by winning gold at the delayed 2020 olympics. and, as most of you will already be aware, he repeated that success in paris only a matter of days past, recovering from a front wheel puncture, and a somewhat tardy wheel-change to beat frenchman victor koretzky and retain his olympic title.

the post is not a usual repository of mountain biking lore, but in this case, i'm happy to make an exception. and since there are quite probably more youngsters to be found aboard mountain bikes than road bikes (based on local observation), it seems highly likely that they will find pidcock to be the ideal source of inspiration for their own future offroad adventures.

and i doubt there could be a better example of fitness, tenacity, individuality and all round cycling ability than tom pidcock.

wednesday 31 july 2024

a ride across america. simon parker. september publishing hardback.308pp illus. £19.99

though unintentional, the title of simon parker's excellent book is just a tad misdirectional. if i might, for a moment or two, reference the annual race across america (raam), the 2024 route left from oceanside, california (midway between san diego and long beach), on june 24, heading progressively north-east to finish in annapolis, maryland. it's a total distance of 3,038.5 miles (4922km); but whatever else it is, it's definitely what most of us would agree is across america.

mr parker's american journey was somewhat different.

"Cape Flattery and Key West were a whopping 4,000 miles apart [...] The journey would take me through roughly a dozen geographically and culturally diverse states."

for those who are as geographically challenged as yours truly, might i point out that cape flattery is the most north westerly point of the contiguous united states, while key west occupies its polar opposite as the most south easterly location. it therefore seems glaringly obvious to state that the author's journey was considerably more diagonally constituted than the raam parcours. starting in washington state, his lengthy bicycle journey took him through idaho, montana, wyoming, nebraska, kansas, oklahoma, arkansas, mississippi, alabama and ultimately, florida.

what possibly made this particular two-wheeled trip different to many similar bike rides (and not just across america), is the author's profession; that of a journalist. in fact, according to his bio on the rear inner flap of the jacket, simon parker is a "British travel writer, author, filmmaker, public speaker and broadcast journalist." and just to add to his palmares, this was not his first attempt at riding across america. commissioned by the bbc to make a documentary about 'human endurance', in 2016 he had joined the crew of a round the world yacht race, getting dropped off in seattle to continue the journey by bicycle to new york and re-join his yachting colleagues.

"Waiting for me at the marina was a plywood box. [...] Now I had to cycle across America."

as if that were insufficient time on the bike across the pond, in october 2018 "...I cooked up another hairbrained idea - to cycle 2,500 miles beside the US-Mexico border. The journey would allow me to ask border officials, Mexican migrants, Texan ranchers [...] what life was really like at this geopolitical flashpoint."

you may already have inferred that, despite the two above instances, mr parker was not yet finished with america by bicycle, opting once again to ride across the continent, one year before this year's november election, in the process, talking to as many individuals as became practical in an attempt to gauge the political landscape during the biden presidency, and in the knowledge that trump was once again bidding to reprise his previous time in office. thus was born the north-west to south-east american tour that forms the basis of the book under review. but in a slight change from previous american outings, the author opted to "...actually train for this journey." and in a further, perhaps more meaningful change, he was now a married man with a child on the way.

since this is a cycling blog, and one currently reviewing a book about a bike ride, it seems pertinent to describe, even if only briefly, the bicycle aboard which mr parker undertook his 4,000 mile trip. having arrived in seattle from where he intended to head to his departure point in cape flattery, he had first to unpack a custom-made, titanium touring bike, courtesy of netherlands-based manufacturer van nicholas. in common with many cycling expedition books, the most we learn about the bicycle is that it featured "handlebars, mudguards, bottle cages, wheels and kickstands" and that the wheels were shod with a sturdy pair of schwalbe touring tyres.

aside from the necessary clothing and niceties required to cycle great distances without regressing into stone-age times, the author also carried a laptop, cameras, audio recorders, microphones and even a drone, along with a wide array of storage cards and cables. "Part of me longed to just head off on an adventure without as much as a phone, but this was work as well as a jolly." it didn't take long for the author to begin the investigative portion of his trip, having been invited by the owner and executive chef of a seattle catering company. she conceded that "Seattle had changed considerably in the 14 years since she'd moved there." (from California). this meeting was one of the first that would presage a number of frequent connections, both curated and random, that lasted all the way to florida.

it was a persistent feature throughout the ride, that he would be continually advised to acquire a gun by those with concerns for his wellbeing. he was also advised, just prior to departing from cape flattery "There will be parts of this country where you're going to see lots of American flags [...] But then in others you'll hardly see any flags. That's a pretty strong indicator of the political leanings of that area." and finally, on asking which words were likely to be heard above all others, "God, Guns. And Country."

many of those met along the way were both supportive and simultaneously incredulous that anyone would opt to ride a bicycle over such an enormous distance. "A bike? Are you serious?" aside from gun-toting americans, warnings were also proffered against bears and dogs. the former proved not to be a specific problem, though essentially confined to the more northern states, but the latter became one that proved potentially more dangerous. "Two Staffie-like mongrels, one with a missing back leg, caught me off guard and in the wrong gear. I had no choice but to jump off the bike and use it as a shield."

in essence, cycling anywhere will almost certainly bring the problems faced by cyclists worldwide. the distance of this ride surely only exacerbated their likelihood; the author became drenched on several occasions, suffered punctures and destroyed rear tyres and ultimately a problem with the rear derailleur, sorted using a zip-tie. however to lighten the psychological burden, he was visited by his pregnant wife mid-journey and again as he rode those final few hundred miles into florida.

simon parker possesses more tenacity and chutzpah than most of us, augmented with an insatiable curiosity, sense of exploration and desire to assess the human condition. but perhaps his crowning achievement is the ability to retain a compulsive interest, at least for this reader, through a well-paced, easy to read narrative. though most of those buying and reading this book are also likely to be cyclists, many of us will fail to see the point; there must be far simpler and less exhaustive ways to gauge the social and political opinions of arguably the most powerful nation on the planet. but perhaps in failing to see the point, we might also be guilty of missing the point. mountaineers are happy to admit that they climb tall mountains 'because they're there."

simon parker has given us the same answer across 308 pages. he's right, we're wrong.

tuesday 30 july 2024