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rtfm

"The drummer-leader, quite possibly, can be a boor. With the unlimited power given to him as the head of the group, and the very nature of his instrument, he is in a position to also be a bore, crashing variety. It is a testament to the talent and taste of the many drummer-combo leaders who came to the fore in the Fifties that they have not abused their privileges."

so begins the liner notes on the back of the art blakey vinyl lomg-playing record like someone in love, featuring blakey on drums, lee morgan on trumpet, wayne shorter on axophone, bobby timmons on piano and bassist, jymie merrit. if ever there was a jazz messengers line-up to die for, this was probably it. the recording has been thankfully re-issued on 180g vinyl by blue note records, mastered from the original analogue tapes. i appreciate that the majority reading this monologue will be both silently and and audibly exclaiming so what?, but you're probably confusing art blakey with miles davis.

there are many reasons cited as to why vinyl sales have dramatically increased in recent years, to the point where they now financially outperform compact discs, though the latter, cheaper format still outsells vinyl. streaming is, of course, a whole'nuther bucket of album sleeves. many point out that subjective sonic performance of the warmer analogue format is preferable to that of the cold digital audio of the compact disc. streaming relies on various imposed compressions to ease download and streaming speeds, and is reputedly scarcely regarded as even within touching distance of the audiophile classification. but even assuming the above to be within the realms of objective truth, the reason many of us adore 12" vinyl is for the acres of space available for the much-lamented sleeve notes and track listing.

granted a pretence of verisimilitude can feature on the dramatically scaled-down compact disc inserts, but any artwork suffers from substantial diminution, while the type size often seems like it forms the basis of a practical joke. i have purchased items from apple's itunes store that offer accompanying pdf files, but tangibly and virtually dissociated from the music, it's often hard to recall where they're stored on a computer, and more often than not, remain unread.

there truly is nothing quite so satisfying and relaxing as sitting back in an armchair with the obverse of an album sleeve in hand, eager to read those liner notes as the needle settles in the opening grooves. i still, however, retain some sense of respect, ensuring that my entire vinyl correction consists purely of jazz recordings prior to the 1970s. as a teenager, my first purchase of close to the edge by prog rockers, yes, may have included handwritten lyrics by roger dean on the inner sleeve, and released in 1972, but though the original vinyl is lost somewhere in the unexplored regions of the attic, its grooves (literally and figuratively) will never sully the turntable of my portable record player (equipped with bluetooth and vari-speed).

which leads me to consider the restoration of another seemingly forgotten item of media, one that once accompanied every new bicycle, even though its relevance was often impossible to fathom.

the owner's manual.

many years ago, the local sergeant and his good wife purchased his and her mountain bikes, following in the footsteps of the well-meaning, yet largely unfulfilled desire to 'get more exercise'. as was the case with many mail-order cycle sales, the product arrived in a cardboard box requiring considerably more assembly than is currently the case. both machines contained within the aforementioned cardboard boxes, so-called owners' manuals, accurately following the tradition of appearing to be for completely different bicycles than to which they were attached. nowhere was there any relevant information on how to change gear, or even adjust them should they, as expected, be well out of sorts when removed from their packaging.

however, the ommission which could conceivably have caused injury if not worse, was the instructions on how to affix the front wheel. both bicyles arrived with quick-release front wheels, while the manual's instructions were for bolt-on axles. by the time the two machines had inevitably made their way to yours truly to complete assembly, the sergeant had removed the locknuts from the q/r axles, and attempted to tighten them on the outside of the front forks. for those less than familar with such matters, q/r axles are not designed to extend past the dropouts; squeezing the fork legs inwards to enable affixation of those thin locknuts, risked the latter dramatically separating from the axle due to very tentative connection with the minimal number of threads available. one of them did so when removing the bicycle from the back of the police landrover.

however, dangers aside, there was great joy to be gained from reading the often substantial number of pages, while frowning to the point of injury, vainly attempting not only to identify the correlation between the illustrations and the bicycle sat in plain view, but any tangible connection between the two.

arguably, in the 21st century, vinyl has as much relevance to the joys of listening, as the bicycle manual has to any bicycle you may wish to name. but that has little bearing on its right to exist for the pleasure and eccentricity of the cognoscenti.

monday 17 february 2025

the supreme effort

one of the advantages that we have over the professionals, is the opportunity to take a short break every now and again, during a bike ride, some of which, i admit, may be a tad contrived. in particular, during yesterday's sunday morning ride, as we rode away from kilchoman distillery and headed towards foreland hill, unusually, we met quite a number of motor cars heading in the opposite direction on the single-track road. i say unusual because, at this time of year, the distillery is closed at weekends, so the cars could really only have been heading to kilchoman beach, a few hundred metres past the distillery itself.

normally, that in itself, would hardly be thought worthy of remark, but in a strong easterly breeze offering windchill of just below zero, you'd hardly think it the ideal opportunity to take the dog for a walk, or even more oddly, taking a walk without a dog to justify the activity.

that particular stretch of road is the latter part of the sunday ride, but one that is what i believe would be described as 'rolling'. in other words, uphill and downhill, but in yesterday's case, directly into the freezing cold teeth of an easterly wind, closing in on 55kph. if you can imagine riding into a very cold mattress, then you've more or less assimilated that which the two of us experienced yesterday, en-route to coffee and a toastie at debbie's. and because of the unusually high traffic (most previous weekends, we'd be lucky if we encountered two vehicles), courteous as we always are, we'd frequently to pull into a nearby passing place to allow them safe passage.

while the stopping and starting can be a tad irritating, when slogging into that easterly, any momentary respite was most welcome, though if interrogated later, i'm sure we'd dismiss the need for any rest from our singular quest.

the professionals, on the other hand, despite traversing considerably longer distances than yesterday's 65km, must acquire any needed periods of rest, by hanging onto a sticky bottle, or navigating to the centre of the peloton, where shelter from the wind can only be considered the ideal place of calmness. but there's also the matter of relativitiy to be considered. not einstein's, but the fact that the professionals have undertaken serious periods of training to enable the sort of physical and mental toughness required to finish a race while still resembling a human being.

with sunday being effectively the end of the current cyclocross season, or at least the televised portion, i was still to be found aboard my own cyclocross bicycle. while that might seem a smidgeon pretentious for one who has never participated in even a pastiche of 'cross race, fear not; my reasons are far more pragmatic. it is notable that many of islay's roads are in a state of dishevelment, a condition very unlikely to see a remedy in the short term. but because many of those roads are plied daily by large, heavy articulated trucks, casual observation from the saddle reveals that many of the road edges have been pummeled into submission, creating seriously deep holes, eagerly awaiting an unsuspecting cyclist whose attention has lapsed for a moment or two. for that reason alone, it well behoves the pelotonese to keep their attention front and foremost.

yesterday, following coffee and a toastie, my solo ride homeward was predominantly into the aforementioned headwind, from foreland road end, the full length of uiskentuie strand until taking a right turn at bridgend. it has been said that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, in which case i must surely, by now, possess the strength of arnold schwarzenegger. but, as most of you will know, irrespective the conditions in which you ride, that even following the return home, the trials and tribulations are not yet over. eager to jump into a hot shower, there was still the surely unwarranted effort of trying to free myself from a pair of rapha pro-team winter tights. seemingly gone are the days when apparel purveyors thoughfully provided ankle zips to ease divestment; nowadays, were those figure-hugging garments to feature even less 'give' at the ankles, they would doubtless cut off any circulation to the feet.

such an exacting fit does, however, come with considerably less than ease of effort, meaning just prior to getting in the shower, i find myself once again close to exhaustion simply attempting to remove my bibtights, all thoughts of grace and favour cast to the wind.

if anyone from any of the world's cycling apparel providers is reading, could you possibly revisit the ankle zip? please?

monday 17 february 2025

disrespect

european televised cyclocross consists if four distinct series. the exact series is simply that; a series of individual events with no trophy at the end, and no overall winner. the telenet super-prestige is a points based series, the winner being the individual with the highest number of points, a similar scoring system as employed by the uci world cup series. the x2o badkamers trofee differs in that the winner is adjudged as having the lowest overall time across the season. the latter two do not require perfect attendance, but for obvious scoring reasons, the fewer in which a rider competes, the less likely they are to win overall.

in truth, the uci world cup series plays out in similar manner, but given that the uci are also in charge of the world championship races, held in early february, they can be a tad more dictator-like in their regulatory approach.

in the 23/24 season, the blazers in aigle floated the idea that, to riders who chose not to compete in every round of the world cup series, sanctions might be applied excluding them from competing in the world championship event. presently, these are two individual entities; with lucinda brand winning the season-long world cup series, but visma lease-a-bike's fem van empel retaining her world championship jersey by winning the event in lievin earlier this month.

despite the fact that wout van aert and mathieu van der poel, once again, opted not to compete in a full cyclocross season, there were no murmurs of sanctions at all this year. even when van aert had ostensibly finished his 'cross season before lievin, having reputedly opted not to enter the world's event, then changed his mind only a few days before, nothing was apparenty said. however, aside from displacing all the riders who participated in a full 'cross season, the appearance of either van aert or van der poel (or both) on the startline is pretty much a guarantee of a large attendance.

it does, however, seem a tad unfair for those who have invested their careers almost entirely in cyclocross, to have the opportunity of winning the rainbow stripes in their chosen profession taken from them by at least two riders, who simply dip in and out of races whenever it suits them. from that point alone, i would be inclined to vote along with the uci of last season, and refuse entry to the world championship even to those who did not at least participate in the majority of uci world cup events.

van aert seems quite happy to race cyclocross purely for the love of the sport; yes, he likes to win, but there's little outward sign of trying to win a rainbow jersey purely for its own sake. van der poel, on the other hand, appears to be employing his considerable skills in the direction of a box ticking exercise. this year was his seventh world championship jersey, one that was all but guaranteed by van aert having to start from the fourth row of the grid. van der poel has already been road world champion, is the current gravel world champion and has apparently set his sights on becoming mountain bike world champion, despite having apparently participated in very few mountain bike races, and, as far as i know, no uci gravel races whatsoever, prior to winning the world championship in that genre.

when you possess the stature and reputation of either mvdp or wva, it's unlikely that any race organiser with an eye on the balance sheet is going to return either entry, but, particularly in the case of van der poel, there's a case for considering his current career as something of an ego trip, yet with less than full respect for the jerseys he's eager to collect. having won the world gravel championship, he has not been seen in any subsequent event to display the jersey. and it seems highly likely that might remain the case until he possibly decides to participate in the 2025 event.

similarly with the cyclocross rainbow stripes. there have been five 'cross events since the world championships in lievin. van der poel has appeared in none. this means the 'cross rainbow jersey will not be seen until (or if) mvdp decides to grace the mud with his presence this coming autumn. and having won the seven jerseys for which he was aiming, there's no guarantee that he'll be back in 2025. and though it ill behoves me to pre-judge, it seems entirely possible that, if he wins mountain biking's rainbow stripes, he'll then put his canyon mtb in the bikeshed and forget all about it.

but it's not just mvdp who is guilty of disrespecting the jersey. women's world champion, fem van empel, having won her rainbow stripes in lievin, has also ended her season, appearing in none of the events over the past few weeks. so once again, cyclocross fans have no opportunity to witness the rainbow jersey in action until the start of this year's season in early october. yet, silver medallist at lievin, lucinda brand, has continued her winning ways by participating in several of the end of season events, including winning saturday's exact series, despite it not counting towards any trophy.

i well understand that modern-day riders follow specific race and training programmes across the year, depending on their respective aims and team strategies. but for all that, they are fairly well remunerated, remuneration which ultimately comes from the fans. were the four cyclocross series to attract no spectators whatsoever, it's doubtful that team and race sponsors would be at all interested. so if only to keep the fans happy, surely, at the very least, those who occupy the three steps on the world championship podium(s), are honour bound to pay respect to their fans and the jersey, with the winners displaying the rainbow stripes as a magnanimous, if well-rewarded gesture?

let's face it; if any of us won a rainbow jersey, we'd be wearing it to work, to the supermarket and probably to bed.

sunday 16 february 2025

who saw that coming?

if i'd had any grain of entrepreneurial nous, i'd probably no longer be sitting in my leather armchair with a macbook air on my knee. if i was still scribbling the post on a daily basis, i would probably possess the keys to a server farm or data centre, acquired through the exhorbitant fees i'd be charging members of the cycling industry for my expert public relations skills.

time was that any correspondence between myself and a member of said industry would have been with the very person responsible for sending items in my direction, or at least a member of staff working in the same corporate office. however, in the past decade, along with everything else that has changed in the world, communications such as that described above, now take place with a company's public relations firm. this is not, however, a situation confined to the velocipedinal realm, but one adopted by other industries many years prior. yet, it is notable that there are now pr firms seemingly able to earn a decent crust by specialising in the concerns of those entrenched in purveying bicycles and their ancillaries.

nowadays, even the terminology ultilised to identify these public relations supremos seems to be heading in the direction whereby i fully expect soon to learn of a pr agency which employs another pr agency on its behalf. if this makes little sense, or sounds just a tad far-fetched, might i introduce you to athletic affair, a sports marketing and pr agency based in girona (from where i would have been typing these very words, had i had the foresight alluded to above). but things are often no longer as they seem.

in 2022, glenmorangie, owners of ardbeg distillery and in turn owned by louis vuitton moet hennessy, purchased the islay hotel, a hostelry situated close to the ferry terminal in port ellen village. despite continual assurances that they wished only to preserve the traditions and heritage of the island, they subsequently opted to rename a hotel that has stood on the same site for decades, as ardbeg house. you may remember an article i penned not so very long ago, disparaging the proposed interior decor by the russel sage studio, a design studio that describes itself as an interior design storymaker. presumably in an attempt to separate themselves from those who merely practise interior design without any attendant storymaking.

and so it goes. for athletic affair is apparently willing not only to do what it says on the tin, but additionally offers media relations and brand storytelling to those possessed of sufficient perspicacity to have hired them in the first place. however, this monologue is, surprisingly enough, not actually about public relations, but one of the companies intent on making use of girona-based 'storytelling'. and while my reader might already be au fait with the situation under discussion, it has come as a bit of a surprise to me.

forming the subject of more than a single gcn video, and included in several others last year, the technique of chain-waxing suddenly became a thing, probably because a high-profile professional cycling team adopted the practice and enthusiastically posted it on social-media. suddenly, it was the talk of the sunday morning peloton, where the pelotonese attempted to sum up the courage to ask their peers whether they waxed or simply lubricated (followed by much sniggering, i'll warrant)?

however, what has surprised me, he said, without admitting which means of chain fettling is in favour on the croft, is that a company whose sole remit appears to be to sell chain wax to the masses, has need of engaging a media relations and brand storytelling agency based in girona. surely adoption of this method of reducing chain friction is hardly a large enough market to warrant such excesses. would not you think a chain waxing company only to occupy a large wooden shed in the ceo's back garden?

seemingly not.

cyclowax, for it is they who require brand storytelling, currently offers a complete clean chain starter kit, reduced to £148, a chain waxing kit for £99, both augmented by the choice of a basic wax tablet at a reasonable £14, or the performance version at £20. either will provide a dozen chain waxes. for those who are less than enamoured of attempting to wax their own chain, a pre-waxed, eleven-speed chain can be acquired for £53, compatible with sram, shimano and campagnolo. oddly, since campag have featured twelve speeds for some considerable time, joined more recently by the other two, there appears to be no compatible option.

but is there really a large enough market for such a relatively basic chain lubrication process, one that has existed for longer than any of us can recall, and that would allow cyclowax to engage the services of a european-based pr agency? and who knew that cyclowax was an offical partner of lidl-trek? after almost twenty-nine years as an esteemed member of the cycling media, it seems there are still surprises to be found around every corner.

saturday 15 february 2025

progress

my reader will doubtless recall thewashingmachinepost's period of enlightenment when it was mostly given to (hopefully) constructive disparagement of what was proffered as velocipedinal innovation. in other words, re-inventing the wheel. these disparagements mostly centred around new standards such as those affecting the bottom bracket, headsets, oversized tubing and a combination of the two; oversized-headsets. i still possess an original colnago c40, along with a steel master xlight, both of which feature one-inch headsets, with which i find it hard to see fault. while my cyclocross bike extends from a 1.125" bearing at the top, to a 1.25" bearing at the fork crown, and the ritchey is 1.125" at both ends, the conspiracy theory would cite the change from steel tubing as a likey reason for these wholesale changes that now constitute, more or less, the present day standards.

when moving from steel to aluminium and subsequently, carbon, in order to gain the tensile strength offered by the ferrous material, the tube diameter had need of enlargement. imagine, if you will, a large diameter downtube conjoining with a headtube still adhering to the 1" diameter; a bit like a drainpipe merging with a milk bottle top. the only pragmatic way to join the two with any confidence would be to ensure the headtube matches the diameter of the aforementioned downtube. and in order to make this a tad more palatable to the cyclist in the street, justification arrived by way of improved stiffness, despite the manifest observation that, in general, head tubes are too short to suffer from lateral movement.

in order to avoid enormous headsets, enlarged to fit the now oversized head tubes, integration was the way forward, once again, justifiable by a purported increase in stiffness.

however, move to the other end of that oversized downtube and witness the changes effected at the bottom bracket. initially, the bearing cups were moved outboard, predominantly to allow an increase in the spindle diameter by offering greater diametrical space for the bearings. once again, manufactuer lore would have it that this was enacted to improve bottom-bracket stiffness. so, what we were being fed, at the time, was at least two identifiable contradictions; the headset bearings were moved inboard to improve stiffness, while the bottom bracket bearings were moved out board to (you've guessed it) improve stiffness.

surely one of those must be wrong?

however, not yet finished with bottom-bracket faffing, threaded cups made way for larger diameter, press-fit bearings, eschewing any outboard cups whatsoever. i have read at least two articles in the past, praising the efficiency of the press-fit arrangement and confirming that this was the way forward. only it transpires they may have been mistaken, since the past few years have seen a wholesale return to the threaded bottom-bracket, while persisting with outboard bearing cups, pointing an accusing finger at which i must resign myself to being a lost cause.

but climbing back to the top of the downtube, bicycle frame designers had seemingly hoped to redeem themselves in the era of aero, moving, where possible, any cables or hoses exposed to the great outdoors, inside the bicycle tubing. the only apparent means of achieving this at source was to conceal everything inside the handlebar before entering the frame by way of the headset. suddenly a reprieve for oversizing that no longer required the stiffness excuse; now it could be placed firmly at the door of aerodynamics.

while i'm willing to accept that the speed of the quickest of professionals might just encounter a smattering of drag from any external cabling, i'd be willing to defend my contention on a public soapbox, that those of us who actually pay for our bicycles, will never reach the escape velocity required for that to register on the aero-meter. and even were we to accidentally achieve lift-off, what actual difference would it make? i'm willing to conceded that completely internalised cabling has a certain aesthetic appeal, but no more than that. and as the entire professional bicycle mechanics' community has learned, when time comes to replace a cable or hose, it is now a giant pain in the a**.

that said, a great many of us have learned over the years, on our distinctly non-aero bicycles with external cabling, that certain points of the frame, predominantly each side of the head tube, are susceptible to wear and tear from cables that have the audacity to move about as we ride. forestalling the appearance of bare metal or carbon fibre, we have become used to attaching clear dots of resistant plastic over those identified points of contact. stuffing the cables inside could easily be viewed as a solution to this irritation, or at least, you might think so.

however, if two gear cables or electric wires and two brake hoses dive inside the head tube, en-route to their separate destinations, are not they liable to unwarranted movement in the process? and what is it that they would move against? that's right, the steerer. this may not have been a potential problem foreseen by the originators, but it's obviously a problem that has proved to have some traction, for many a bicycle equipped in this fashion now sports a layer of innegra on the outer face of an undoubtedly carbon fibre fork steerer. innegra is a durable, impact resistant material, one of the lightest available synthetic fibres, made from polypropylene and offering a high strength-to-weight ratio. as the saying goes, 'when one door closes, another door opens'. at least, unlike many other bicycle innovations, this appears to be the solution to an actual problem, rather than the more common solution looking for a problem.

all of the above has been summed-up into the latest technology to appear on the bike shop floor, not least of which is cannondale's much-trumpeted super-x gravel bike, a machine which has apparently acquired its name from what was once a cyclocross bike (can you see where i'm going with this?). if i might allude to an online description of the bicycle's top tube, it has reputedly been flattened in advance of any propensity to shoulder the bike. and just to divert sideways slightly into the subject of aesthetics, i do have grave concerns on that basis, over the snake-like constitution of the seat-tube.

but the conundrum possibly peaks over the description of the super-x as designed to 'go really, really fast', confounding those of us who mistakenly imagined that gravel-biking was more or less invented to facilitate bike-packing and lengthy days in the saddle, 'riding until the road is no longer familiar'. once again, a genre that arose ostensibly as a means of experiencing the great outdoors, away from motorised traffic, finds itself at the mercy of the go faster brigade, and subject to the rainbow jersey ambitions of mathieu van der poel. and all this for as much as $15,000.

the more things change, the more they stay the same.

friday 14 february 2025

if a tree falls in the forest

the following monologue will simply prolong the agony experienced by those of us keen to extend our viewing of professional cycle racing, and though i'd prefer not to admit that i appear to spend far too many waking moments rueing the situation imposed by warner brothers discovery, it is kind of a big thing for me and many thousands of others. if the short selection of letters published in the comic last week is anything to go by, there's always the possibility that they will have cause to reconsider their highly unpopular decision, but failing that potentially equally momentous occasion, it would appear that a great many of us will have a surfeit of time available to indulge in more cycling.

granted, i am on record as having said that the road season is simply a measure of events that get in the way of the start of autumn's cyclocross season, but even a dyed-in-the-wool cyclocross fan needs a modicum of sustenance across the intervening months, sustenance that seems very likely to be conspicuous by its absence for the remainder of 2025. it's always possible that we could organise a class-action against warners/discovery on the grounds of its adverse effect on our mental-health (an accusation that i am assured would not be viewed as favourable by their shareholders or legal department), but i'm not usre i want to be the one to pull that particular pin.

but, to return to the cyclocross meme, regular observation of the road season, at least until the commencement of the giro d'italia, seems perfectly justifiable. after all, women's under-23 world cyclocross champion, zoe backstedt, has asked what is paris-roubaix, if not a cyclocross race with bits of road in between? and despite my earlier statement, i do enjoy the omloop het nieuwsblad/kuurne-brussels-kuurne weekend, if only because it allows me to use them as a means of confusing the heck out of my office colleagues on the monday following. i'm fairly non-plussed about milan-sanremo, but dwar doors, de ronde and liege-bastogne-liege have been part of my transition from winter to spring for more years than i can remember.

however, my discovery+ app will dispense with any cycling whatsoever at the end of this month, and, like many others, i am extremely reluctant to hand over £30.99 each month to the very company that has placed us all in this invidious position in the first place. as a result, i have avoided any youtube videos that purport to preview any of the above events, and refrained from searching out any cycling media articles in which primoz roglic explains how he intends to make tadej pogacar look like an also ran as the season unfolds. (as an aside, the whole situation might not prove as beneficial for cycling's print and web media as originally thought. if we can't watch the event, is there any real point in reading the punditry?)

that also raises the existential question presaged by today's apparently cryptic heading. if none of us can actually watch live or on demand, did the race take place at all? is cycling, in the uk at least, about to become entirely hypothetical? and by the time we reach those three weeks in july, will we have forgotten what all the fuss was about, or will we be suffering medically treatable withdrawal symptoms? by october, uae might rue the day they offered tadej a lengthy, and substantially remunerative contract when there's no-one around to witness his tour performance. and red bull might opt to restrict their wings solely to the most boring sport in the world. (go on; guess)

either way, i wouldn't spend too much time listening out for falling trees.

thursday 13 february 2025

the best is behind us

as perhaps mentioned in the passing, i hold the drum chair in a local covers band, the setlists of which tend to favour songs from scottish and irish bands, not necessarily what you'd refer to as traditional music, but a darned sight closer than king crimson's greatest hits. i enjoy playing my ludicrously expensive drumset, i like and respect my fellow band members, and i can hardly deny that filling the dance floor of islay's local hostelries with happy, dancing punters provides an agreeable level of satisfaction. the fly-in-the-ointment is the knowledge that not a single song on our extensive setlist is ever likely to be found upon my ipod.

i well know that, as a drummer, i am scarcely alone in this situation; many examples of contemporary popular music employ the lowest of common denominators when it comes to rhythmic accompaniment; just because i can play displaced, flammed paraddidles in conjunction with conjoined ratamacues does not necessarily suggest that i should. listen to michael jackson's billie jean; there is a singular beat throughout and it is devoid of anything vaguely close to a fill. but then, were that not the case, it would not have sold almost 1.5 million copies in the uk, and over ten million in the usa. songs designed for dancing would only be interrupted were the drummer to demonstrate his or her avowed prowess.

but modern recording technology leans heavily towards the mathematically divined perfect timing, where quantisation can automatically snap each drum beat to a predefined grid. the heck with the human touch, when dance floor rhythms are at risk. such is the prompting behind the constant reminder from old farts such as yours truly that, "music was better in the old days", without any attempt to define specifically to which era one is referring.

however, in my defence, it has been independently pointed out that even now, in the 21st century, many teenagers intent on forming a band, tend towards selecting songs by free, the rolling stones, van morrison and others from the sixties and seventies. there may be any number of reasons for this, but it's primarily because more recent pop music has been created in the studio, little of which features guitars, drums or any other 'real instruments. as one noted producer was quoted as saying: "where once i recorded musical performances, now i create them." as a result, and probably as a direct reaction to the music i currently have to perform, i have suggested that we take a look at sunshine of your love by cream (eric clapton, ginger baker and jack bruce), first released on the 1967 album, disraeli gears (see what they did there?)

as perpetual research for these monologues, i am in the habit of perusing the industry websites and publications, all of which have begun to show habitual reference to e-bike matters. i know that the subject has populated the interwebs with dedicated sites, but within the velocipedinal retail trade, acoustic bikes might soon be as marginalised as what i opinionatedly might refer to as decent music. i am, of course, willing to suffer the slings and arrows of the runrig/skerryvore/tidelines/trail west (delete as applicable) appreciation societies, as i disparage their so-called, musical output. similarly those who find themselves in thrall to the almost ubiquitous e-bike.

with regard to the latter, if asked to cite supporting evidence, i might quote a few recent headings:'Cheaper eBikes? The real challenge is stopping unregulated bikes hitting the streets' - 'UK breaks with EU + cuts levies on non-folding China eBikes' - 'She's Electric and Everything Electric join forces for women-centric eBike push'. of course, at present, e-bike headlines are outnumbered by those which exclude e-bikes altogether, but should the encroachment continue at the current pace, by this time next year, they may have achieved parity, before a final push for world domination.

though i agree that my prejudices would seem entirely disfavourable towards the electric revolution, that's not entirely true. i can see the value of such machinery in a wide variety of situations, but two matters of note seem designed to interject. it is clear from certain sources, that the e-bike is seen as the future of sustainable transport, despite the knowledge that the more e-bikes on the streets, the more electricity will be required and, consequently, the more that will have to be generated. and i'm still guilty of resorting to displays of criticism on viewing twenty-somethings riding e-bikes, when this ageing blogger is still perfectly capable of riding an acoustic bike. modern society seems hell bent on being first to the bottom, adopting any technology that might require less effort, regardless of the cost, both financial and environmental.

"we're all doomed captain mainwaring"

wednesday 12 february 2025

sales management

i still recall mr benzie's bike shop in kyle street, situated in an opening just past the public library. if memory serves correctly, it consisted largely of two conjoined wooden buildings with a set of wooden steps leading to the first of those which was essentially the direct retail part of the operation. if you wanted to buy an inner tube, tyre, gear cable, or even an entire bicycle, you would ascend those steps to be faced with a gruff retailer who seemed ill-at-ease with the customer-facing portion of his business. behind these green and cream (i think) wooden buildings was a long, metal shed in which repaired bicycles ready for collection were stored, with card labels tied with string to the handlebars. on the sole instance of being allowed inside that shed to collect my own repaired bicycle, i remember it being full to the doors with uncollected bicycles and many examples of tied labels.

i do remember that woe betide anyone who brought a bike for repair that hadn't been cleaned and polished to within an inch of its life.

however, there was a certain simplicity to be experienced when time came for a velocipedinal purchase, forced or otherwise. mr benzie's gruff exterior seemed match with an interior every bit as gruff, wishing only to sell bicycles he already had in stock. with my brother being the lackadaisical owner of the archetypal ten speed racer, i too wanted one of those, despite ownership of a far more pragmatic raleigh twenty on which to perpetrate my daily paper run each morning. on enquiring about the possibility of yours truly owning five sprockets and a double-chainring, mr benzie explained at length to my father of the trials and tribulations that would ensue along with purchase of just such a bicycle, oblivious to the fact that my brother's bicycle had exhibited none of those despite being ridden by my brother.

matters were identifiably simple in those halcyon days of yore. if there was a desire or demand for any bicycle-related item, a bricks and mortar bike shop was not only the obvious choice, but effectively, the only one. i should, however, insert one caveat to that; when visiting with my grandparents in rutherglen (a smaller town on the outskirts of glasgow), there was a main street department store that featured a sizeable number of bicycles on the first floor, including those with bendy bars. perhaps, however, mr benzie was possibly more astute than i've given him credit for; the two bicycle shops in the neighbouring town were heavily skewed towards the road bike/race market, arguably making his selection of proper bikes more attractive to the ordinary cyclist.

mr benzie and his shop in kyle street are long gone. the town bike shop is now situated opposite the former rover/mg garage, selling merida mountain bikes and bianchi road bikes. i seriously doubt they'd harbour any qualms over selling either genre to whomsoever was inclined to ask, minus unwarranted advice over the efficacy of quite so many gears.

now that we're living in the 21st century and all that such entails, matters are far more complex in oh so many ways, from which the life and times of the bicycle are hardly exempt. through passion, careful financial management, coupled with blind obstinacy, many still have the option of visiting a bricks-and-mortar bike shop with at least one qualified mechanic, perhaps a bike-fitter and almost certainly a shop floor populated with a desirable range of bicycles. but a piecemeal, fractured and, at times, unstrategic approach to retail has meant that the opportunities and means of acquiring a bicycle have effectively multiplied.

did i mention confusing?

many cycle manufacturers have implemented a click-and-collect approach that allows the prospective customer to order online from the manufacturer's website, but pick-up said bicycle from the nearest authorised retailer. but apparently only to make life more difficult and illogical, some of the larger manufacturers have bought into bricks and mortar, opening bike stores selling only their models, all of which compete not only with independent bike shops (ibs) selling the selfsame models, but also fighting for business against their direct-to-consumer website. perhaps obviously enough, the latter sells at the rrp, meaning the manufacturer not only receives the wholesaling profit, but the retail profit too. the same is essentially true of the dealers' own stores, but minus the costs of operating a tangible outlet. and, as ever, it's the independent bike shops that are most susceptible to the majority of changes in retailing.

there's a certain illogical disconnect in selling a brand of bicycle through an ibs, when you own your own branded bikeshops and direct order website. however, it has been said that several bike manufacturers are beginning to discover the validity of the warnings that it's a lot harder to run a profitable retail business than they initially thought. particularly since industry rumours would have us believe that sales have not yet returned to pre-covid levels, and profit margins have been squeezed until they pop. if you consider just how expensive modern-day bicycles can be, the fact that the choice is between, road bike, gravel bike, cyclocross bike, xc mountain bike, and downhill mountain bike, all in sizes that vary from manufacturer to manufacturer, the notion of ordering direct from a website might not come out top of a list of practical ways to buy an £11,000 bike.

it probably should, however, be pointed out that canyon bikes seem not to be suffering from their sole direct-to-consumer model, but there's always the exception that proves the rule.

at present, there seems no immediate prospect of matters returning to those halcyon days of yore, though i'd be willing to bet there are many in the boardrooms of trek, merida, specialized and their peers, who would be happier if one retail model were to make a bid for world domination. an unconsidered logic would point to the direct-to-consumer operation being the most profitable and simple means of selling bicycles, but as has been pointed out by many, the internet won't fix your bike.

time will tell.

tuesday 11 february 2025