thewashingmachinepost




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research and development

empty desk

let's face it, no matter how much we love the day job, there are always bits of it that we'd rather not do. many moons ago i decided that it would be a fine idea to database all the articles published in our local newspaper - there's always someone popping in and asking when it was we published this, that or the other, and it's always a lot further back in time than either they, or i figured it was. by having all in a database, it's a lot easier to search out the relevant text; rather tautological i agree since that's pretty much what a database is for. sadly, i'm not clever enough to write the necessary script to pull each article from the page layout programme and paste it into a filemaker database, so it all has to be done manually by yours truly. (please don't e-mail to tell me either how to create the necessary script, or offer to send me one: scripting is too scary - just leave me to my misery).

everything was fine in the beginning, because i had the enthusiasm of all those who discover a whole new life in software; the books i had on filemaker pro made it seem as if world domination was only a page turn away. of course, much of the end product is drudgery, and after several years of copying and pasting, the excitement has palled to the extent that i'd rather service shimano sti levers. on a brighter note, it's the sort of job that i can complete at times that suit me, so every now and again when the fancy takes me, i can put the imac to sleep and bunk off to go for a bike ride. of course, as a true professional, i cannot possibly condone bunking off, a practice that smacks of a total lack of conscience, so i prefer to think of it as research and development for these very pixels.

it's something of which i'm sure you will have great sympathy; you couldn't possibly let yourself read the words of someone who did not practice what he preached, someone who had not experienced riding in the freezing cold of a weekday, and who had not experienced a midweek soya milk cappuccino at debbie's. it's important that i do not turn into a weekend warrior - where's the credibility in that? no, i am so dedicated to the cause, that i am willing to give up the daily toil, take the colnago out the bikeshed and clad only in every piece of winter gear i own, i grudgingly pedal into a growling headwind to road test that cappuccino mid-ride.

and if the foregoing strains the credibility just a bit too far, then i can condone it as training. there is no point at all to my receiving various bicycles and other items to test and review if i can barely turn a pedal in anger. granted i would struggle to reach the sort of fitness level curently previewed in lance armstrong's tweets, but there's even less chance of that happening if i don't take the occasional hour away from my desk to burn calories and increase my maximum power output (you can tell which articles i read in the comic). i would only be passing the time on a new colnago if i was unable to give it a hard time on the uphill bits. one has to do one's bit for the nation's fitness and the constant battle against obesity (though admittedly i'm some distance away from the latter.)

so there you go, not only have i sneaked an afternoon off work, but i've managed to justify it all as a perfectly legitimate piece of martyrdom for the cause. who says the pen (wordprocessor) is not mightier than the carrot cake?

it is the right of every employee to bunk off now and again - just as long as you don't get caught. you should know that i will deny all knowledge; i was away from my desk that day.

twmp

posted on thursday 8 january 2009

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mavic recall r-sys front wheels

mavic r-sys recall

i'm not normally prone to carrying any of the various recall notices issued periodically by the world's manufacturers of stuff, but since the current one refers to a wheel that thewashingmachinepost has cheerfully recommended over the course of a long-term test, i feel honour bound to help, since mavic have been very good to me.

mavic have discovered that, under certain circumstances, the carbon spokes in the r-sys front wheel, may be prone to breakage - if you own a pair of r-sys of whichever version, stop using the front wheel immediately. you should return the wheel to your nearest mavic dealer (presumably, in the case of mail order purchase, you should send it back from whence it came, but i'd check first). mavic will replace the wheel free of charge, but are unable to do so until end of march this year, so meantime they will offer you a pair of mavic aksium wheels to keep you cycling while you wait.

the test pair have been ridden for almost two years and on some fairly long distant rides at that, but are showing no signs of any trouble. however, i'm pretty sure that mavic wouldn't be making a recall like this if something wasn't seriously afoot, so go out to the bikeshed and remove the r-sys front wheel immediately. do not be tempted to continue with it meantime i need to keep all the readers i've got.

in the meantime, if you have any queries (uk only) telephone this freephone number: 00800 23478875. USA and Canada: 1-800-664-9228 if you have such wheels and not resident in these countries, check mavic.com for dealer info in your country.

twmp

posted on wednesday 7 january 2009

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small people in a big people's world

rollapaluza kids

i did briefly mention during the latter part of 2008 how jez hastings and i had decided to get off our saddles, put our money where our mouths were/are, and instead of whingeing about the lack of youth in the vc d'ardbeg peloton, try and get some kids on bikes. most of the cycling activities presented within schools has traditionally tended to be geared towards the cycling proficiency test, or whatever it is known as these days, but we just wanted to present cycling as fun, since it is very much so for us and those who have joined us over the years. it's also been driven by a perceived need to have cycling presented by those (in this case, jez and i) for whom cycling is a way of life - many of the instructors we've seen in the schools don't even own a bicycle, let alone ride it anywhere.

however, aside from the fact that mr hastings has been galavanting on the continent over the festive season (he'll tell you it's work), we finished the port mor wheelers at the end of november, partly due to so many festive activities through december, and partly due to the weather not being on an improvement curve. we'll start back again in february - not that the weather is likely to be a lot kinder by then. however, after a diminishing campaign appeared in the comic last year to try and have cycling inaugurated as part of the national curriculum (doubtless only south of the border), i was moved to write and point out what a sterling job rollapaluza were doing in supplying kid sized bikes at most of their events. in order to obviate the establishment argument that making cycling part of the curriculum would mitigate against those children without bicycles, the rollapaluza model seemed the ideal way to introduce cycling to kids with minimal outlay on bicycles, real estate and the inevitable risk assessments.

it's not the ideal solution, but i thought it had at least some merit to it, though the comic didn't publish or reply which is entirely their prerogative.

thankfully, rollapaluza and condor cycles are less easily dissuaded, and after their success at revolution 21, they're back again this weekend at manchester velodrome for more. while they say that they're willing to put up with pleading adults, they intend to concentrate on giving the kids their day of glory by using the smaller bikes supplied by condor cycles. if you're intending attending revolution 23 this weekend on 10th january, do yourselves all a favour and take the kids along too for a shot on the rollers. not only will they thank you for it, but when they're older, you just might get that carbon widget for christmas that you've been harping on about for ages.

rollapaluza.com | condor cycles | revolution series

twmp

posted on wednesday 7 january 2009

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a grand day out

etape caledonia

how things have changed even in the limited time i can confess (willingly) to being a roadie. in my early and 'not a clue days', the principal discussion at the end of one year into the beginning of the next was which mediterranean training camp it would be prudent to attend. since i didn't race, the nearest i ever got to this sort of choice was perusing the brochures made available by those who could facilitate those very camps. i think that the idea was/is to get enough warm weather training in during those early months in order to be in supreme condition just when the british race season started. sadly, i have a sneaking suspicion that, much like myself, most of those participating had no intention of racing either. a bit like those guys who used to stand outside the motorbike showroom in head to toe leathers and helmet, before getting on the bus to go home.

i kick myself year upon year for not having had the guts to have benefited from those camps overseen by robert millar, but sadly... however, it may simply be my perception from a totally different angle, but it seems that the early year discussions have strayed from the training camps over to which sportif should be scribbled in the diary. the monthlies/weekly are filled with details of a vast number of such events throughout the united kingdom. the current issue of cycling plus arrives with a supplement devoted entirely to the question of the sportif, and lists over 70 british events alone. and that's possibly only the biggies. sadly they have seen fit to omit the ride of the falling rain, but since it is hardly in the same league as the dragon ride and etape caledonia, i will let mr spedding off the hook on this occasion.

and mentioning an etape, it often seems that the cycling populace are often less interested in the route of the tour when it is announced, than they are in which stage will comprise the etape du tour. i believe the london-paris ride is regarded by british cycling as their flagship sportif, though it is in an altogether different category to most of the others; it's fully supported and takes place over three days - something like riding three sportives one after the other. but whereas there used to be only racing cyclists and not racing cyclists (even if you were a fast not racing cyclist), now the sportif has added a third category which is a subset of both. it has also excited the r & d departments of many of the world's larger cycle manufacturers because now, in addition to their existing ranges, it has become possible to add a sportif model; which makes me kind of wonder what was wrong with the previous models.

so has britain, or the world, become obsessed with the sportif ride, spending most of the year planning on which event(s) to undertake, and reading every last word on the subject of training to make sure they can hold their heads up high when the finishing times are posted? is it a fulfilling experience to ride along with several thousand others of drastically varying abilities over roads you've never seen before? i don't really know, since i've only managed the london-paris and i wasn't exactly towing everyone along behind me. the ride of the falling rain has been described as a sportif because, well what else could you call it? but the appelation has started to acquire status and an expected level of organisation and facilities. i remember a letter in the comic a couple of years ago where the correspondent was arguing for standards that could be applied in order to weed out the would be has beens, and those that are just playing at it. if we're not careful, there'll be a league table of sportives based on a set of arbitrary criteria, and we'll all need sportif licences to take part.

unfortunately, when really popular events start to get really popular, somebody feels the need to take overall charge even if nobody asked them to. i wonder what we'll all be talking about in the off-season in a few year's time? cyclo-cross is looking quite popular these days.

twmp

posted on tuesday 6 january 2009

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that feeling of being let down

track pump

a friend of mine has opened an art gallery on islay; not quite the hub of the art universe as we know it, but certainly a location with more than its fair share of artistic tendencies amongst the cognoscenti as we are wont to call them. however, not satisfied with the relative obscurity and isolation of islay from the world's artistic fervour, you can perhaps gain an insight as to its islay location by the name of the establishment: outback gallery. in fact, it's ensconced in the innards of a former farm steading at sanaigmore - if i had a map to hand, i'd point it out to you, but it's on the north coast of the island facing towards colonsay and mull. exactly - not only on the edge of nowhere, but miles from anywhere else.

as part of my mission to bring such items of newsworthyness to the multitudes, i agreed to pedal out as far as it takes to view the gallery, the current exhibition by islay artist carol andrews and take some photographs for the local newspaper. saturday was a fine day for just such an expedition: cold, a bit on the mid-grey side, but relatively windless (miracles happen here too) and, provided one was wrapped up cosily, a very nice pedal. regular perusers of these pixels may have picked up on the occasional reference to islay's roads being not of billiard table smoothness, and the singletrack road leading from the rspb centre across to loch gorm (turn right and you're on the way to sanaigmore) stretches the definition of road to it's extremes - it is merely an agglomeration of potholes and hastily applied patches of tarmac that only holds together because there's a grass verge on each side.

the latter part of this road is downhill - a very bumpy downhill - which it is better to freewheel than to pedal. sadly, while doing just that, i ran over a hitherto unseen piece of carelessly discarded barbed wire. this estranged fragment subsequently had an argument with my rearward schwalbe ultremo r, causing it to lose inflation, increase the bumping sensation at the back, and bring me to an untimely halt fairly close to the middle of nowhere. despite having never been a boy scout, i like to think of myself as a well prepared cyclist, so it took only a matter of minutes to remove the former innertube, replace it with a new one, and inflate to an almost satisfactory pressure with a c02 pump.

in the grand narrative of what ifs, i now like to think what if i had noticed the large cut in the sidewall of the ultremo?. sadly i didn't, so a matter of metres later on the same stretch of road, the second and final inner tube passed on to the next life. might i, at this point, proffer a word of sane advice to any other cyclists who find themselves in a similar situation: don't attempt to walk anywhere far in cleated road shoes unless there's a grass verge. in this case, and pretty much at the side of every road on the island, such continous soft grass was available, thus making walking a tad simpler, and saving the cleats and carbon soles from total destruction. a second point of order is to know who you're friends are and where they live: happily i was able to cadge a lift from a passing acquaintance who dropped bike and rider at the door of one of the vcd'a peloton, and as the tube was being replaced for a second time, in close proximity to a sturdy track pump, two of us discovered the rather large slash in the nice new tyre.

yes, the destructivated rear tyre was one of a pair of ultremo r supplied for a lengthy term of road-testing by schwalbe, the outcome of which had just been reduced by fifty percent. i have ridden on the standard ultremos for nearly three years without so much as a hint of a slow puncture, then when shod with the new, improved version, the mother of all punctures visits with a vengeance on a tyre that promises a ceramic coating and radial belting to make punctures a thing of the past. so what went wrong?

well, to be quite rational about the affair, i've a feeling that the combination of road surface and barbed wire would have punctured the tracks on a chieftain tank: the ultremos are essentially designed as race tyres, and in similar fashion to race car tyres, the sidewalls are not of primary importance. secondly, the ultremos are folding tyres, an operation not compatible with the rigidity of non-folders that might have provided a stronger sidewall. such flexibility also improves the tyre's abilities on the road - basically, you can't have your cake and eat it too. that doesn't however, expunge schwalbe from all liability - further research could doubtless be made into making a flexible tyre sidewall that can repel all boarders.

however, i have replaced my rear tyre with another ultremo, admittedly one of the originals, since the r version is yet to be widely available in the uk, and feel just as safe as i ever have. i'll run the ultremo r on the front wheel for the remainder of its natural life, and let you know how that fares.

hopefully no news is good news.

twmp

posted on monday 5 january 2009

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it's tradition jim, but not as we know it

barry-roubaix

now that all the fuss has levelled out, and the ride of the falling rain has achieved the ultimate accolade of becoming the best event in argyll; an honour only marginally less imposing than sir chris's knighthood (well, not really, but i'm going for dramatic effect here), i'm suspending modesty for a moment or two to let you know that the team responsible for deliberation over the awards, mentioned that they found the name of the ride poetic. it's probably safe to assume that none of them are cyclists, since the poetry is slightly lost in the midst of an islay downpour.

however, such is an inadvertant triviality: poetic is quite a reasonable description from a marketing point of view. at least it would be if marketing was something we understood as well as it apparently seems from the outside looking in. however, move several thousand miles across the atlantic ocean to michigan and we find a bicycle race (as opposed to just a ride) that has marketing written all over it, topped with a brilliantly clever name: barry roubaix. doubtless a close colleague of alf d'huez, this race takes place over gravel strewn roads (something we intend adding as a small optional extra to the 2009 edition of the falling rain). as the pr wording says 'like the french classic it's named after, barry-roubaix will test riders against rolling gravel roads (80%), pavement, one mile of rough two-track, rocks, sand, mud, and possibly snow and ice, along with 2200 feet of climbing over its 31 mile loop.' indeed, just like the spring classic, apart from the 2200 feet of climbing.

and in case you wonder if the barry bit is just added for dramatic effect, there is maybe just a squiggle that that's the case, but the truthful answer is that the event is to be held in barry county, michigan (long lake outdoor centre, middleville) on sunday 28th march 2009. and it's not just reserved for those on bendy bars and skinny wheels - there's room for knobbly tyres, cross, single speeds, fixed and tandems. the added frisson is that the course will be determined by the conditions in place just prior to the race start, disallowing barry the chance to produce a fancy illustrated map to frame and hang on the wall. three options are available depending on how fleet of knee you feel yourself to be: a tinsy 19 miles, a marginally more hefty 31 miles, or a cobbling 62 miles.the route is not closed to regular traffic, so competitors must observe the rules of the road (if you're planning on venturing from the uk, remember that america rides on the wrong side of the road), there is no rolling escort and anyone not adhering to these rules is either going to get a nasty shock, disqualification, or both. as an unsanctioned event in the truly major sense of the word, no racing licence is required. there is official timing, trophies, assorted prizes and a feature well known to virtually every event on islay - a raffle. registration can be made until march 21st at bikereg.com, cost dependent on how many laps you intend to complete.

with dirt road/gravel rides seemingly becoming more popular amongst the skinny wheel brigade, this sounds like the very whizz to whet the appetite, with one of the coolest and cleverest names ever to grace a start banner.

i heartily approve.

barry roubaix

twmp

posted on sunday 4 january 2009

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the dynamic duo

anthony and brian

if you're at all like me, then you lumber from one cycling experience to the next: there's no real organisation involved. i am excluding those of us who are following a detailed and exacting training plan (did you see what i did there? i included myself, thus giving the impression that not only do i write this stuff, but live it too.) because i mean that few of us have a strategy for the greater good. for me there's the sunday bike ride, the route of which is not decided until we're halfway up uiskentuie strand. i may, or may not, choose to ride the company colnago c40, or perchance one of the increasingly numerous bikes in for test; the decision is made upon opening thewashingmachinepost bikeshed door, always assuming i can be bothered to swap the pedals. and in a very random way, i may often go for a long ride on a saturday if the weather's ok.

as 2009 passes along nicely, the option is there to pop down to the big smoke to visit cycle people that i like to visit (and who hopefully like to be visited) and there is also a slightly more distant trip in the pipeline, but no specific date has been set, and the itinerary is not even written in polystyrene, let alone stone. and there's nothing wrong with any of this - i would tend to describe it as the last of the summer wine approach. don't kid yourselves, you're probably doing it too and enjoying this approach to cycling life just as much as i am.

but real cycling cannot operate in this way. do you really think that messrs vroomen and whyte woke up one morning thinking 'let's knock this csc thing on the head and have a test team' and immediately, everything fell neatly into place? do you really think chris hoy mentioned to the man who sells him his bran flakes ' you know what? i'm going to launch my own scholarship fund from the home of the stone of destiny' and the bran flakes man replied it's funny you should say that...'

.

of course they flipping didn't.

these things, and other cogs in the huge machine that is present day professional cycling, are discussed months if not years in advance; a lot of people have to be spoken to, hundreds of pounds exchange hands, and lots of suits and ties are worn long before you or i ever hear about their existence. ok, so i am perhaps in the privileged position of hearing about some of this stuff before the official press release arrives in my inbox, but you get the general way the planet orbits.

up till this point i've either pointed out what we all take for granted, or i'm preaching to those of you who are quite happy to sit back and let it flow over them. but somebody has to engineer all these events, or at least put the right people in touch with more right people; advising those who need advice and making sure that if there's a timetable to be adhered to, then someone is clock watching. like the scenery changes in a play or opera, you shouldn't really notice them happening, but happen they do.

up until january 2009, one man who has succeeded in carving a niche in this grand machine, is anthony mccrossan at the helm of his own company, cyclevox. lots of you will know anthony from his commentating on cycling.tv, perhaps from his master of ceremonies duties at the annual braveheart fund dinner, or maybe just because he overtook you on the london-paris ride. cyclevox has existed in its current form for just over a year, accomplishing a substantial amount over those twelve plus months, including work for high road sports, the british bmx championships, the new cervelo test team, the chris hoy scholarship and the city centre tour series happening later this year.

while i'm only going on second-hand information, i'm told it's lonely at the top, so it was only a matter of time before mr mccrossan found himself needing someone to talk to across that walnut conference table. there could really only be one candidate to occupy that second plush leather chair: brian smith, former team-mate of lance armstrong, twice british road race champion, cycling pundit, a man with an uncanny knack of reading a cycle race, and a typically droll scottish wit. anthony and brian have been co-commentators at cycling tv for the past three years, so it's not like they don't know each other from adam, and now that brian has joined cyclevox as a director, together they can make sure that the world of cycling doesn't degenerate into the anarchy (disorganisation would be a better word, but anarchy sounds so much more anarchic) that is the velo club d'ardbeg sunday ride.

2009 is now in safe hands.

cyclevox.com

twmp

posted on saturday 3 january 2009

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neo luddite or anarcho-primitivist?

ball bearings

a member of the velo club peloton has a similar affinity for mercian cycles as i myself have for colnagos, the only real difference being that his obsession has a lower price tag than mine. one of his bicycles, a touring machine from the early eighties, built as you would expect in lugged steel, is used as an everyday machine: it gets him to and from work and in the winter, when road coverage is less than kind to the gleaming chrome on his mercian racer, it provides sterling duty as his entry into the sunday peloton while the chrome lives indoors.

many of the components on said machine are original equipment, and it is indeed testament to the manufacture and quality of these, that most of them are still perfectly serviceable. or were, in the case of the bottom bracket. lots of bicycles produce pops, bangs and squeaks which come and go quicker than a portnahaven holiday house owner, but eventually serious wear will produce grunts that cannot be completely ignored. in this case, the second hardest working component on the mercian, the bottom bracket was deemed to be the source of such noises.

there seems a likelihood that the chainset, also original equipment, had not been removed from the bracket spindle since the original date of affixing: those chromed dust caps covering the crank bolts had seized in the threads and had to be painstakingly removed to allow crank removal. but when all was on the bench under the frame, it was easy to remove and throw away the misshapen old bearings and replace with well greased new shiny ones.

sadly, it turns out that there had been considerable wear to the adjustable and fixed cups, so even the new bearings had a troubled time in their new job, and the noises, subtly diminished, returned after only a few kilometres.

technology has moved on considerably since this particular frame was brazed by one of mercian's finest craftsmen: the humble and easily maintained cup and cone bottom bracket has not only been superceded by the cartridge version, but more recently by the external cups and fixed/clamped axle. even the latter has so many variations, that bicycle technology has a very good chance of disappearing up its own backside. while it would be futile to stand in the way of genuine progress, developments between the pedals are fast approaching headless chicken status where the hapless owner will have not the faintest notion of what or where to obtain a replacement when such innovation eventually runs out. or perhaps the entire bicycle has achieved built-in obsolesence.

however, i digress somewhat, and now return to the mercian tourer. while the owner would have been happy to have the crumbling component replaced with a newer, shinier version of same, such is no longer the easiest or most readily accessible option available. in fact available is not a word that can justly be applied to finding a replacement of similar build. so, in this case, modernity succeeded, and the mercian of yesteryear is now happily, and more quietly, treading the ground between bowmore and port charlotte with a japanese cartridge bottom bracket aiding mobility. no longer is it necessary to maintain a healthy stock of quarter-inch bearings, and my investment in a range of bottom bracket tools has effectively been rendered inert.

and in probably fewer years than it took for the original to instigate its own demise, when the cartridge starts to show signs of wear, there will be no method of emergency resuscitation at hand - in fact there is every possibility that asking for a 122mm cartridge bottom bracket in future happy new years will be met with a blank stare.

and to add insult to injury, the adjustable cup on the cartridge bb is plastic. could progress and quality not meet each other in the middle?

twmp

posted on friday 2 january 2009

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