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picture this
assuming you are of a mechanical nature, one with the cojones to carry out your own cycle repairs, it woud be naive to consider these to be tasks that could be pragmatically undertaken without the appropriate tools for the job. you would think it likely that every cyclist was capable of carrying out the basics, such as replacing an inner tube, cleaning and lubricating the chain and at least checking to ensure that brake cables and/or gear cables were not about to give up the ghost, but experience tells me otherwise.
only last summer, i met a touring cyclist in need of an inner tube, having failed to include such an item when packing the panniers. but. to add insult to injury, he had also omitted to include either tyre levers or carry a mini-pump. so, having supplied the necessary tube, he had then to suffer the embarrassment of asking me to complete the process. and it's not only inner tubes, but also gear wires or brake cables. were i intent on undertaking a bike tour of indeterminate length, i'd be more than inclined to carry spares, along with the necessary tools to complete the job. similarly, a few extra spokes taped to the left chainstay will never go amiss, but it's then necessary to carry a cassette remover and what used to be referred to as a cassette cracker, to grasp hold of the sprockets while trying to remove them.
however, 'tis not only travelling cyclists that have need of tools. bottom bracket removal, headset replacement, wheelbuilding and such like, demand workshop tools to ensure all is well with the world when time comes to go for a bike ride. in this modern, connected world, pretty much everything the intrepid home or workshop mechanic might require can be found online. and with the constant technological development pervading the cycle industry, these are toolsets that frequently require the same constant updating. for example, the advent of campagnolo's 13-speed ekar groupset has rendered their previous chain rivet tool partially obsolete, unless, like me, you're content to remain at twelve vitesses.
as in many cases, the constant march of technology, while providing many benefits and convenience, has a habit of losing aspects that were once seen as integral to any given situation. one of the main losses of web technologies has been that of the humble catalogue. cast your mind back to the 1980s and 90s, when the internet was still the preserve of the american military, and the best we could hope for was the occasional bulletin board or rudimentary e-mail, any manufacturer wishing to interest society in their product range, would have been honour bound to produce a shiny catalogue from which a choice would be made and communicated to the nearest bricks and mortar retail outlet.
quality cycle tools can be quite expensive, and if spending one's hard-earned cash, it makes prudent sense to check that the money is being spent on a tool that will comfortably carry out the process for which the purchase was intended to ease. the majority of catalogues would be filled with at the very least, black and white images, but france's var tools not only provided quality instruments, but had their catalogues illustrated by the inimitable daniel rebour, an artist renowned for his accurate and detailed line drawings of bicycles and their components. he retired some 40 years past, but his artwork is still as revered today as it was when bicycles were still fashioned from steel tubing and semi-ornate lugs.
and being french, var tools were keen to make use of his talents, drawing pretty much each and eevry tool they made. i currently have in my possession two var tools catalogues from 1989 and 1992, both of which feature rebour's illustrations, along with a small volume entitled, le petite livre jaune from 1986 in which both text and illustrations are by monsieur rebour. this slim volume deals with each aspect of the bicycle, accompanied by rebour's drawings of var tools appropriate to each facet. for those endeared of vintage bicycles, this could conceivably be thought of as something of a treasure trove, one that, in the era of cloud computing, huge data centres and online shopping, we're unlikely to see again.
however, thoroughly decent fellow that i pretend to be, i'm quite happy to pass these publications onto good homes. if you think you'd like to avail yourself of an insight into recent velocipedinal history, or you're a collector of such ephemera, drop me an e-mail with a postal address and i'll post them out to you, one per person, first come, first served. i have the 89 and 92 var tools catalogues along with a copy of le petite livre jaune. just let me know which one you'd prefer.
monday 08 february 2021
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................prendas/santini peugeot shell michelin s/s jersey
i used to be able to climb. obviously not anywhere near as quickly or as steeply as the professionals, but quicker than my sunday morning compatriots. in fact, in 2008, riding to paris as part of the hot chillee peloton, i summited before fellow scot, brian smith, a man who owned the british champion's jersey on two occasions. granted i bested him by a matter of centimetres, and he was still in the big ring at the time, but first is first, no matter the circumstances.
originally, i favoured the pantani method of standing for as long as those chris hoy thighs would survive, but, having once read that seated climbing was allegedly more efficient, i subsequently remained in the saddle for all but the steepest of gradients. and not that the sunday morning ride gathers anything in the way of an audience, but i tend to figure that standing while climbing is far more aesthetically pleasing for those cheering by the roadside. the fact that i have long sported a ponytail, only served to foster thoughts of emulating robert millar, and having twice read richard moore's biography of the diminutive scot, i cultivated ideals of grimpeurship rather than any other cycling discipline.
however, gravity is a hard taskmaster, and though i have a decent grade in higher physics, i'm still sure that it's a force that quite literally, weighs more heavily on the ageing rider than on the likes of youngsters such as wout van aert and tadej pogacar. so there's no point in my denying that on the onerous climb past the rspb farm at aoradh, aside from breathing through my ears, all that fills my blurred vision, is the rear wheels of the younger pelotoneers getting further and further from my front wheel. you try to bring them up proper, and then they just ride away and leave you.
whether you agree with me or not, status is everything within the peloton, a factor that is surely bound to diminish, the further behind i am on any given ascent. and though i have put in all the extra effort i can muster when the road eases upwards, i can but admit that it doesn't appear to be working very well. so, desperate straits call for desperate measures, a situation that has now been aided and abetted by andy storey at prendas ciclismo. this thoroughly decent fellow sent over a peugeot shell casquette a matter of weeks past, and has now excelled himself by following that with a particularly fine matching short sleeve jersey.
produced by santini, the jersey all but defines the word quality, with a full-length front zip, three generous rear pockets and a zipped fourth for keys or, more importantly, coffee money. however, for the aspiring grimpeur, unlike the previous and highly popular peugeot jersey available from prendas, this one features shell logos on the sleeves rather than my bp monogramme. and every single cyclist north of the border knows that millar's polka dots jersey in the 1984 tour, replaced his peugeot shell jersey in paris.
the best bit, however, is that i can now dispense with any thoughts of hill reps and specific climbing training, because this jersey confers immediate and superlative grimpeurship the minute that zip toggle is closed at the collar. so now i can sit atop any hill you care to mention, looking down (in both senses of that phrase) on the puny efforts of those who are trailing in my wake. (i might have made that bit up.)
all i need now, in these sub zero, wind-chilled temperatures, is a pair of peugeot embroidered bibtights. andy?
the santini/prendas peugeot shell michelin retro jersey is available in sizes ranging from xs to 8xl at a retail price of £69.99, a pittance of a price to pay for king of the mountains performance.
peugeot shell michelin retro jersey
sunday 07 february 2021
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................don't try this at home
there's a lot of money involved in top-level professional cycling; reputedly the team with the highest annual budget, riders for ineos grenadiers benefit from a purse of €50.7 million. and as soon as there's (a lot) of money involved in any competitive situation, there will be close examination made of any opportunity to outsmart, outbuild or outrace the competition. much has been made recently of substantial increases in the cost of the professional level bicycles available to the rest of us, at least one factor of which is the development costs invested in making bicycles for the likes of geraint thomas, peter sagan, or primoz roglic.
training programmes and race strategies alter year by year, all in order to serve up as many finish-line victories as will keep the sponsors happy and the directeurs sportifs from shouting too loudly from the confines of the team car. but when aggregating dave brailsford's legendary 'marginal gains', it's not simply the fitness of the riders that needs to be considered. were supporting evidence required, witness the rise and rise of aero, applied to helmets, skinsuits, jerseys, bicycle frames and anything else that might subtract a few seconds from any rider's finishing time.
granted, such measures will have little clout in branches of the sport such as cyclocross. when the world championship course features acres and acres of deep sand, and a ride along the shores of the north sea, it's highly doubtful than any aerodynamic tweaks would have resulted in a quicker finish. and even in the world of the road bike, when applied to the likes of you and me, many of the aero innovations have little or no benefit. i recall reading a technical feature on deep-rimmed carbon wheels, one which pointed out that the rider would have to be travelling in excess of 52kph to reap any real gain in velocity. i dont know about you, but those are the sort of digits rarely to be seen under the speed heading on my garmin.
the professionals, however, will search out every advantage available, often, seemingly, without due care for their own safety. many will recall chris froome's tuck position on stage eight of the 2016 tour de france, one that, at the time, was credited as assisting him towards a stage victory. however, a study subsequently showed that the froome position was 'not faster, not safer and not more powerful compared to other positions.' considering the apparent risks that chris froome took in adopting such a position on the bike, to learn that he'd have been just as quick had he remained in the saddle, must have been something of a disappointment, to say the least.
however, it appears that all may not be lost, depending on your definition of the word lost. for we are mostly all familiar with the efforts of the sport's governing body to outlaw anything seemingly guaranteed to provide greater performance without any apparent effort on the part of the rider. both positions invented by graeme obree fell foul of the uci's regulatory department, along with any tinkering with the preferred double-triangle frame design. they have also been known to point the finger at any wind-cheating fairings applied to the bicycle.
thus, while aigle does have right on its side when taking closer looks at errant finish-line barriers, you can but imagine the glee in the boardroom should the possibility of banning yet another position raise its head. in this case, i would probably find myself in agreement. it's all very well for a cyclist of chris froome's stature and ability to adopt such a stance upon the bicycle, quite another for the great unwashed to attempt emulation on the sunday ride. after all, we're supposedly all keen to imitate our betters.
but why, i hear you ask, are the uci considering banning a ride position that is apparently slower than a regular stance? well, it seems that someone else (a belgian engineer) took a look at the four-time tour winner's innovation and reported that it appeared to provide a 9% speed gain. and you know how the uci view speed gains that are not the result of studious and relentless training regimes. though no rule change has yet been enforced, from april this year, apparently, any rider using scary but fast, unorthodox positions on the bike is likely to receive a warning from the race commissioners.
what a progressive sport we live in.
saturday 06 february 2021
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................clyde steamer espresso
there is an acknowledged connection between coffee and cycling, the reasons for which tend to vary depending on who you ask. i should perhaps qualify that last statement by pointing out that the connections seems strongest between those of a road-going persuasion, as opposed to those who ride on springy farm gates with knobbly bits on their tyres. not exclusively, but noticeable nonetheless. i tend to put this down to the italians, perceived originators of designer coffees by way of espressos, cappuccinos, macchiatos and ristrettos.
in the days of the lugged steel frame, general perceptions indicated that italian steel, with the little red bird on the frame sticker, was amongst the most desirable, though the advent of carbon has tended to undermine that national appreciation. other conclusions surround the sponsorship of eddy merckx's faema team by the eponymous coffee machine manufacturer in the 60s and 70s, a situation underlined by saeco's sponsorship of mario cipollini's sprint train several decades later. the connection between coffee and italiana was almost tangible.
but it's not solely italy that has benefitted from its association with cycling, if you consider the cafe de colombia team in the early 80s, while the current sponsorship of the world tour trek team by segafredo, continues the velocipedinal relationship to the present day.
there is, of course, the knowledge that caffeine is a performance enhancing ingredient, even if you and i would have to consume prodigious quantities to even come close to the performance the pros can manage on straightforward training regimes. however, from a non-professional point of view, the relationship between cycling and coffee has far more to do with sociability than any pretense of getting faster or fitter. without fail, prior to the ride home, the sunday ride ends at debbie's café, even if the odd man out always opts for a hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows (another cycling connection perhaps?). but he teaches maths, so what more can i say?
the oddity, at least partially, is that the italian part of the equation rests on a country that doesn't grow coffee beans. most originate in south america, north africa, southern asia and north australia. from a growing point of view, europe is a coffee exclusion zone. but that's the way the world works; those with a penchant for quality coffee tend to live in the northern hemisphere, importing and roasting the beans, before creating desirable blends, such as el salvador finca patagonia and brazil fazenda rio brilhante paraiso. lest you think i am more of a java connoisseur than you originally thought, i can but admit that i read the latter from the red label on my packet of clyde steamer espresso blend from tighnabruich's argyll coffee roasters.
let's not pretend that there are not thousands of coffee roasters from which to choose to fill the tiny, daily cup of espresso. or, for those of more luxurious leanings, a latte or cappuccino. but, rightly or wrongly, i am firmly of the opinion that the closer to home, the fresher the coffee, and tighnabruich is but a stone's throw from portavadie, near tarbert, itself but a hop, skip and a jump from calmac's route to the isles at kennacraig. i placed my order on friday afternoon and received my pack of clyde steamer coffee on monday afternoon.
impressive in every sense of that word.
the name, according to eve at argyll coffee roasters, is a nod to the paddle steamers that used to take glasgow holidaymakers, 'doon the watter' to argyll. so, even if it's only a case of having a specific excuse to interject the phrase 'doon the watter' into daily conversation, or pretending you know what a clyde paddle steamer looks like, i would strongly advise that you peruse the blends and grinds on offer. and, if you've a burr grinder all of your very own, you can choose whole beans rather than pre-ground coffee. yesterday's compact and bijou cup of strong clyde steamer coffee was a delight to behold and consume; chocolatey, nutty and oh so undeniably smooth.
because you're worth it.
friday 05 february 2021
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................safety first
at the top of bowmore main street sits the famous round church, built that way, according to legend, to stop the devil hiding in the corners. in actual fact, it appears to have been an architectural feature of the age in which it was built (1767); there's a farm building at kilchiaran, on the island's west coast, also built in circular fashion. however, the village main street descends quite steeply (6% at one point) towards the harbour on the shore of loch indaal, creating a freewheeling dream for cyclists heading out of the village to the north. you will note that i have refrained from mentioning the slog that meets any riders heading south, towards the ferry terminal at port ellen.
oh wait...
assuming your descent begins from the church steps, by the time you reach the turn at shore street, it's possible to have reached well over 45kph. the mitigating factor against so doing is the existence of a co-op averagemarket a few metres from the turn. i doubt that motorists on islay are any different from those on the mainland; wherever they want to go, it's simply a matter of parking the car as near as humanly possible, even if that means double-parking, or planting the car squarely on the pavement.
but there's worse. since the bulk of the village is sited nearer the top of main street, as opposed to the bottom, the majority of cars are pointing downhill on reaching any parking space they can find near the co-op. this inevitably means that they face away from any other traffic, including accelerating cyclists approaching from behind. though there have been exhortations to include the dutch reach in uk driving instruction, i'm not sure it's made it that far yet, though it's a method likely to appear in the next revision of the highway code.
for those unaware of the dutch reach, it's a safety technique that has seen use in the netherlands since the 1970s, and involves the driver opening a car door with the left hand. opening a car door in this manner means that the driver is almost bound to see any vehicles, cyclists or pedestrians approaching from the rear, prior to the door being opened and potentially causing accident or injury.
of course, this is likely to be advisory, and is probably a move that few current drivers will be in the habit of practising. many of us on bicycles will welcome its introduction, but bemoan the few likely to adopt it in the short term. on more than one occasion, i have smiled from ear to ear at the joy of freewheeling down main street, only to have concentration take over, watching for pedestrians crossing the road without looking, or drivers opening car doors directly in my path. nothing serious has occurred so far, but i can't help noticing that the open car doors i have managed to avoid, were not accompanied by either any sign that the driver had seen me until i rode past, or any sense of shame that they'd just exited the car without checking.
however, in advance of the inclusion of the dutch reach in the highway code, car manufacturer cupra, formerly known as seat and a part of the volkswagen group, has introduced an exit warning on its latest formentor sports utility vehicle. though the latter genre of vehicle would hardly be top of any cyclist's list of favoured vehicles, anything that mitigates against a meeting of car with bicycle is surely to be welcomed. according to cupra, "The technology aims to protect road users by delivering an audible warning to the driver or passengers to prevent them from opening the door when the presence of a cyclist, pedestrian or another vehicle is detected."
the formentor, which is priced from around £27,000 (enough to buy you two specialized tarmac sl7 bicycles and sufficient change to also nab a pair of carbon sports lightweight carbon wheels), reached british shores last month. it features a rear-facing camera, equipped to detect approaching vehicles or pedestrians. combined with the dutch reach, this would surely, argues the car manufacturer, help reduce the number of injured cyclists (over 17,500 in 2018). though i have no great love for the motor car, anything that improves cyclist safety deserves at least a modest round of applause.
thursday 04 february 2021
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................rest in peace craig hardie
craig hardie, scottish cyclocross supremo, bike shop owner and all round good guy, sadly passed away earlier today. i only met craig once on a whisky trip to islay, and we corresponded less frequently than we probably should have. he will be gretly missed by many scottish cyclists.
my sincere condolences to lynn, lois and his family.
wednesday 03 february 2021
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................pit stop
with the organisers of the lincoln grand prix, an event generally held in may, having announced its postponement to a possibly re-arranged date later in the year, potential attendees have, at worst, been offered a lifeline at which they might still view the most recent infiltration of formula one technology to the sport of cycling. having already been seen at world tour level, the intrigue will surely revolve around how far down the food chain the trickle has extended.
television coverage of professional racing occasionally offers an insight into the machinations exerted from the team car, even if only the dropping off or collecting of rainjackets and other extraneous items of apparel. however, the most common illustration of the above is the sight of a lowly domestique cramming an excessive number of water bottles about his person, followed by a reprsie of the world famous sticky bottle routine, to propel said rider towards a fast disappearing peloton.
and even when treated to footage from the in-car camera, it usually only reveals two polo-shirted directeurs sportifs, driving at speed with a devil-may-care attitude, while on the radio, extolling their riders to ever greater feats of derring-do. on occasion, a hapless figure can be seen in a small corner of the rear seat, crammed uncomfortably against a vast array of wheels, spare water bottles and all the extraneous clothing referred to above. this fellow is generally the designated mechanic, the one who drew the short-straw and has to spend the better part of six hours in a roasting hot car seat, ready and waiting to sprint to the aid of riders having suffered a mid-race malfeasance, inevitably with two of those wheels in hand.
the only other time we get to see the mechanic is when hanging half out the rear window, magic-spanner in hand, the latter which is frequently in danger of being removed by a speedily rotating rear wheel. according to commentary spoken in inverted commas, said mechanic is reputedly adjusting a maladjusted component, while hanging onto the seatpost and pushing the rider along at a pace well in excess of the result of months of dedicated training. when sat in the passenger seat of the rapha team car at the british national champs in glasgow several years ago, one of the riders unshipped his chain right at the get go. after having raced to his assistance, the rapha condor mechanic was instructed by team manager, john herety, to 'fix his seatpost'. this was shorthand for 'grab hold of the seatpost while i invoke the alarming 0-60 acceleration of the team car'. which, of course, he proceeded to do, only releasing his grasp when the rear of the peloton was within shouting distance.
however, the mechanics, while remaining largely the unsung heroes of the professional race, are presumably always on the lookout for any sliver of technological glory. disappointingly, without the possibility of pit-stops, as frequently witnessed in formula one, the latest addition to the not-so-average mechanics' weaponry may have remained hidden in plain sight. and once i reveal what that might be, i'm pretty sure we'll all be clamouring to imitate sooner rather than later.
my specialized crux cyclocross bicycle arrived replete with sram rival disc brakes, with rotors attached to a dt swiss wheelset featuring the now ubiquitous 'thru-axles'. on this particular bicycle, these are held in place by the modern verisimilitude of the quick-release skewer. this particular set of axles feature a ratcheted lever on the non-drive side. once the skewer is sufficiently tightened, 'tis but a minor concern to align the lever in the same manner as applied to 'real' q/r skewers.
however, several other bicycles that have been here on a review holiday have featured no such accessories; tightening the axles in place is facilitated by means of a 5 or 6mm allen wrench. this hardly renders the means of securely affixing the wheels to the frameset as anything like quick, apparently having led to simple bike replacement in the event of a puncture during major races. the days of the latter may, however, be numbered. while viewing an ag2r citroen team video on youtube, displaying the preparations already underway for this season's paris-roubaix, in similar manner to the formula one method of removing and installing wheels, the ag2r mechanics were fastening the axles by means of electric drill.
i am now scanning the appropriate section of the screwfix website, in the hope of finding a suitable device that can be accessorised with allen wrench drill bits. should this quest prove successful, i may move my thru-axle fettling to the front of the house, where sheep, deer and passers-by can view my new macho wheel stance in advance of this year's season of sunday morning bike rides.
wednesday 03 february 2021
..........................................................................................................................................................................................................rtfm
the thought of making any inroads into our attic does not fill me with glee. aside from an ageing hi-fi system (no longer need in the age of the ipod), several hundred compact discs and a forgotten stack of retro vinyl, there are too many variants amongst its contents to allow an easy night's sleep. however, sat against one of the interior walls are three or four boxes, containing the floppy discs for quarkxpress, adobe photoshop and adobe illustrator, the triumvirate that were once the intrepid graphic designer's stock-in-trade.
it is of great embarrassment that it never dawned on me for an instant that computers would ever suffer from a lack of a floppy disk port, or that we might ultimately garner all our software needs via a wireless connection to the internet. nor, in fact, that this connection would download gigabytes of data in a matter of minutes. those boxes had been stored in the attic on the off-chance that i might have recourse, should any errors or mishaps occur in the course of the daily travail. of course, we all know how that has worked out.
but, aside from the previously mentioned (non-floppy) floppy disks, those boxes contain manuals rivalling the thickness of the telephone directories of yesteryear. within hundreds upon hundreds of pages are contained step by step instructions on how to access and subsequently use, the many features built into the software by the their earnestly striving architects, or engineers, as i believe they prefer to be referred. at any point during pixel-wrangling in photoshop or tweaking of bezier points in illustrator, if the end result seemed to have become unwittingly obscured, 'twas but a simple matter of referring to the comprehensive index at the back of the manual, to find a possible remedy for the mess that was staring back from the computer screen.
of course, just like the floppy disks, such impressive computer literature has joined the dodo in becoming largely extinct. there was an interim period when the information was codified onto a cd or dvd, before being dispensed with altogether in favour of the help menu leading to a web page with search function. that's pretty much the state of play at present. however, while switching between apps and a web browser for answers to the problem-du-jour, is one software practice that translates not at all well to the land of the bicycle.
litigation-scared cycle manufacturers seem intent on easing the home mechanic to the sidelines, threatening all manner of likely scenarios, should componentry be hamfistedly applied to the bicycle frame by the untrained. the warranty on many items will prove inert, should it subsequently fail and be found not to have been fitted with the use of a torque wrench. but, presumably making tacit acknowledgment that such impositions are unlikely to deter the purchasers of what are often costly items in themselves, without the addition of shop labour charges, some still include the once ubiquitous user manual. this is delightfully the case with italian component manufacturer, campagnolo.
having mentioned my chain replacement saga of the past weekend, on opening the super-record twelve-speed chainbox, its inner sanctum was padded out by the 123 page user manual, the cover of which featured the winged wheel logo above the more contemporary typeface that decorates the crank arms on my ritchey logic. of course, those 120 plus pages contain the necessary fitting instructions in five different languages, including, surprisingly, japanese. can we guess why that's the case?
as if to underline that which i mentioned earlier, across the twenty-pages of english language instructions, i noticed a total of twelve warnings, ranging from the need to wear safety glasses or goggles while installing the chain, to warning against using the chain with any sprockets not marked campagnolo. and in mentioning that, each individual page of the manual is also headed with campagnolo's iconic script logo-type.
though not kind to the bank balance, probably the one piece of information included that you ignore at your peril, is that the chain ought to be installed using campagnolo's industrial strength, yet ergonomically and aesthetically magnificent ut-cn300 chain tool. i have tried, in the past, to fit an 11-speed campagnolo chain using a park-tool workshop chain tool, without one gram of success, a procedure that subsequently required the purchase of replacement links with guide-pins. if you have the wherewithal to own campagnolo record or super-record in the first place, you probably ought best factor in the cost of vicenza's chain tool.
of course, such attention to detail is not necessarily consistent across all of campagnolo's delightful range of compact and bijou user manuals. when fitting the bottom bracket, reference was made to the manual included with the chainset, to ensure correct fitting of the bracket cups, despite the referred manual saying nothing relevant concerning fitting of the bottom bracket whatsoever.
however, i dread the day when vicenza insists on authorised fitting only, and dispenses with such compulsive velocipedinal literature altogether. some of these manuals are worth reading in complete isolation to the fitting procedures described, though it dawns on me that i may have said too much already.
tuesday 02 february 2021
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