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i admit, i'm only a few days into my garmin-less bike riding, but already that empty space on my handlebars has highlighted that, as cyclists, we might have a bit of a speed problem. you could possibly use the same argument against motorists, perhaps with greater justification, but when the police and the court systems can hand out various penalties for exceeding legal limits, the need for some means of accurately gauging the vehicles' velocity is a tad more pressing. there are very, very few of us who are capable of sustaining illegal speeds on a pedal bicycle; those who can frequently do so on closed roads and are paid for the privilege.

though the garmin device in my possession harbours a greater number of data features than there are spaces on its liquid crystal display, two that i opted to include, were actual speed and average speed, neither of which are, ultimately, of any real use. the highest speed i have ever recorded, took place a great many years ago when i had only just cast-off the mantle of youth, achieved on a downhill stretch of road, with a very strong tailwind. and though i thought it impressive at the time, it was still a good 20mph shy of the road's speed limit, so the local constabulary were unlikely to have been troubled by my accomplishment.

of course, that which separates us from the motoring public, can be demonstrated by the number of videos on youtube showing a wide variety of exotic super and hypercars (what's the difference?) attempting, and occasionally succeeding, to reach stratospheric speeds for reasons that are beyond my ken. considering the price and sophistication of the vehicles employed, for no more than bragging rights (so far as i can see), it's a somewhat vacuous quest. but is it posssible that you and i are naively involved in a similarly pointless pursuit?

there are, of course, the traditional scrambles for sprint victory at the village signposts, childish competitions that have existed since time immemorial. who, in their right mind, would ever legislate against such harmless striving for such pyrrhic trouncements? but it is hardly necessary to be made aware of the terminal velocity associated with loss or victory; you either passed the road sign at the head of the pack, or you didn't. speed will depend entirely on the relative quality of your peloton. yet the cycle industry is entirely complicit in the facade, spending countless hours in the wind tunnel, aided and abetted by computer fluid dynamics modelling.

and hiding the cables inside the frame.

it may be that we are at the mercy of a previous discussion, whereby the shape of modern carbon fibre cannot be easily or economically fashioned in a manner different to that originally crafted for the professional classes. we are therefore subjected to acres of marketing hyperbole, convincing the great unwashed that speed is the ultimate accolade to be gained from riding that which occupies the upper regions of the company website. admittedly, even the owner of a colnago y1rs, the self-styled fastest bike in the peloton, is perfectly at liberty to ride that bike as slowly as they like. just like eighty year-old drivers of porsches.

but i fear it is insufficient simply to acquire one of any number of reputedly fast bicycles and ride to the limit of one's ability; it must also be quantified by some sort of definable measurement, whether bar-mounted or software displayed. why else are so many of the amateur peloton signed up to the likes of strava, and why else would you eschew a delightful outdoor bike ride in warm and sunny conditions, in favour of accompanying online virtual riders through the auspices of zwift? it is, like it or not, because it is very much a case of 'never mind the quality, feel the width'. unless you harbour a genuine fear of the outdoors, are effectively city-bound, or find puddles to be scary, the only reason of which i can think to favour indoors over outdoors, is to work on one's topline speed.

and that might be considered obsessive, unless the competitive milieu is one in which you frequently participate. for where else is the joy to be found in consistently trouncing your compatriots at the final sprint, or simply riding into the distance for no particular reason, other than because you can.

mitigations can be put in place by referencing the previously mentioned cultivation of speed by hardware, softwear and software providers. a recent mailshot from rapha, extolling the virtues of their latest pro-team range of apparel, was entitled 'faster, sharper, more engaged', while their summer roadsuit was described as possessing 'lightning-fast and flyweight aerodynamics'. couple that with the integration of otherwise innocent cabling for reason of aerodynamics, and it could be argued that it really isn't our fault at all. after all, how many bicycles and jerseys could be sold on the promise of comfort, solidity, longevity and sensibility?

so maybe it is our fault after all.

tuesday 28 april 2026

launched

in the days during which i reviewed bicycles, with one or two exceptions, they were of models that had been in existence for more than a few weeks. part of that was due to the incredibly low-profile possessed by thewashingmachinepost; i am but an enthusiast typing on my apple computer on a daily basis, while sat in my living room on a reputedly remote scottish island. contacting cycle, component and apparel purveyors in the early days, was fraught with both incomprehension (on their part) and on occasion, laugh out loud responses. i still recall receiving an e-mail from a well-known london hotel, enquiring after prices for industrial washers and dryers, so for those in the industry not minded of graeme obree's technical wizardry, i can at least understand their misapprehension.

were i to consider buying a motor car, even if used, both i and the car's owner would expect a test-drive, in order for me to assure myself of the vehicle's provenance. for new cars, there are always magazine and website reviews, the benefits and disbenefits being that these are inevitably written by professional reviewers. when it comes to bicycles, matters are rarely quite so straightforward. for starters, profit margins are considerably lower than in the motor trade, so a cycle shop may be less than keen to offer a test-ride of the only model they have in stock. on one of my trips to portland, oregon, i was loaned a bicycle from the shop floor at the behest of the cycle company's owner. unfortunately, when riding to return the bicycle prior to my departure for home, persistent rain meant that the whitewall tyres probably had to be replaced in order to place the bicycle on shop sale once again.

however, it bothered me somewhat that, if considering a bicycle purchase of several thousand pounds, especially if those pounds were the result of months of saving, personally, i'd want to know everything i could about my intended purchase. it was an eye-opening discovery to learn that reviews in some publications rested predominantly on advertising spend in the magazine, or, in one specific case, whether the company wanted the bike to be returned after the test. though i may have garnered considerable experience within the cycling realm, there's no doubt that i remain a confirmed amateur, but effectively no different from those considering buying the very bicycle(s) i was reviewing.

i always figured that was my super-power, though i'm not sure that the bike and component providers saw things in the same way, which is very much their prerogative. the change came with the advent of youtube and the plethora of individuals and media companies which adopted this as their new home. there's no doubt that having the ability to watch a video presentation of a bicycle or groupset is considerably more attractive than dozens of paragraphs accompanied by a few photographs. however, i have always thought it best to play to my (albeit minimal) strengths, and i tend to figure i'm better at writing than i'll ever be in front of a camera. as the saying goes, 'i have a great face for radio.'

so, on the basis that thewashingmachinepost has never been, or was intended to be, a commercial concern, even though the post has effectively become a 'vanity project', it keeps the grey matter from degenerating more than is natural, and there are still sufficient readers to justify its continued presence on the web. however, this has meant that some of which occupies my time these days, is an arms'-length observation of industry happenstances, and the most intriguing one, for me at least, has become the preponderance of the launch junket, epitomised most recently, by campagnolo and colnago.

this involves inviting high-profile members of the cycling media, in the above cases, to italy, to spend a day or two riding the new bicycle or groupset in particularly ideal circumstances, in the often confirmed hope, that nice things will be said about their latest and greatest. it stands to reason that either the bike or groupset is of sufficiently high monetary value to justify the launch largesse. in most cases, these launch videos are eventually followed by subsequently lengthier and in-depth reviews in the reporters' back yards. those confuse me. though i have never attended any of the above, i cannot deny that i was invited to a few, but i'm a tad unsure of the point.

i'm afraid i can't quite envisage any benefits to be gained from members of the cycling media riding expensive cycle equipment in idyllic conditions. had such expense been lavished on your behalf, would you be inclined to be critical of the subject of the event? and to be honest, if, in at least one of the above cases, the value of the item submitted for review exceeded £15,000, it's more than possible said item is pretty darned near perfect in the first place. hands up all those who have chosen to purchase a colnago c72, based on watching cycle journalists riding one in sunny italy?

(i'm aware that this may come across as a case of sour grapes, but honestly, my daily grind would never accommodate such a trip, even if i'd been specifically invited. a number of years ago, i was invited on a tour of lagavulin distillery with the manager, the purpose of which still eludes me; this came replete with a complimentary bottle of lagavulin's finest (despite my pointing out that i do not drink alcohol). i'm hardly the individual you'd attempt to impress if you were hoping for subsequent, influential recommendations. and now that i think of it, probably the same goes for bicycles.)

monday 27 april 2026

misdirected

an article in the guardian newspaper on saturday, highlighted the concerted thoughts of fatih birol, executive director of the international energy agency. if we assume that the gentleman has greater foresight into the world's energy usage and requirements than either you or i, then his advice that britain ought to forgo any thoughts of expansion of oil and gas exploration in the north sea, is probably founded on acquired expertise. he is of the opinion that the current crisis engendered by america's invasion of iran and the subsequent closure of the strait of hormuz has fostered the end of trust in fossil fuels. the article goes on to say "there will be a significant boost to renewables and nuclear power and a further shift towards a more electrified future."

according to previous reports in the same newspaper, sales of electric vehicles in europe have surged by 51% since the beginning of the iran crisis, and there are indications that it's a trend from which the uk is not immune. already, german state airline, lufthansa has cancelled a substantial number of short-haul flights this summer, due to a projected lack of jet fuel supplies, and while there has been no sign, yet, of fuel rationing in the uk, several eastern countries have already experienced lengthy queues at the petrol pumps.

i'm tempted to say 'if only there were a transport solution that could circumvent these circumstances', but i'm guessing you'd already seen that one coming. aside from the now ubiquitous e-bike, there is reputedly no shortage of acoustic bikes for sale. according to the latest government data derived from the national transport survey, 62% of all car journeys are between one and five miles, a distance easily covered by the majority of healthy individuals across the nation. if an old fart such as myself can manage 50km on a saturday afternoon, those who demur had better have a damn good reason for not following suit.

information such as the above is not only easy to find, but tacitly known and understood by more people than you'd think. a bit like casually mentioning i'm a vegetarian, any hint that cycling might, in fact, be a pragmatic choice, particularly in a village only one mile in length, will almost immediately result in a degree of back-tracking by any car-owning conversant. in other words, everyone knows that driving notably short distances is hardly an intelligent or environmentally sound choice, and while they agree that walking or cycling should be the preferred option for the majority of the population, their own particular circumstances mitigate against that happening.

unfortunately, that seems to be the template response from virtually everyone.

this is not some subterfuge created by yours truly to point out the failings of otherwise sensible people, but one reflected by recent figures from prominent players in the cycling industry. giant, merida and ideal are the three largest, publicly traded bicycle manufacturers worldwide, all of which showed a substantial decline in revenues to march this year, on top of previous declines in 2024. giant are down 26% for the quarter, merida down 27% and ideal a considerable 35%. of course, it could be that there's a bit of a 'wait and see' mentality currently predominating amongst those reliant on fossil fuels, but so far we've not seen a wholesale adoption of the bicycle as occurred during the covid pandemic.

that said, we should, by now, have become inured to the knowledge that any adoption of cycling by the great unwashed, will only ever last as long as any adverse crisis. in other words, even if closure of the strait of hormuz eventually results in a clamour for both acoustic and e-bikes, as soon as the iranians relent, those 62% of short journeys will return to being undertaken from behind a steering wheel.

it's the same sense of disappointment on discovering that 'the butler did it'.

sunday 26 april 2026

an experiment

many years ago, when i still could be found aboard a colnago c40, i attempted to revisit my teenage years, and convert the campagnolo chainset on the c40 to the standard of yore: 52/42. as i recall, in the days of having only the purchasing power to acquire a road bike with rivetted chainrings, 52/42, was pretty much all you could get, explaining, with perfect clarity, why i stopped mid-ascent of dundonald hill, near troon, and was sick. when the freewheel sported a mere five sprockets, none of which was overly large, creating the archetypal ten-speed racer, having watched robert millar, as was, scale pyrenean heights with relative ease, i figured it would be easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy for yours truly to emulate the diminutive scot en-route to dundonald.

it transpires that millar and his peers were more inclined to use a 39 inner ring and possibly a larger sprocket at the rear, but there's no denying that dundonald hill bears no comparison with the likes of the col du tourmalet. with even the likes of tadej and jonas on compact chainsets and 32 or 34 sprockets nowadays, life in the saddle is a smidgeon different, but i thought it a bit of a wizard wheeze to roll back the decades and find out at first hand, why i never quite scaled dundonald hill at a single sitting. though i don't actually recall the result, i'm sure it wasn't pretty.

the ageing process has determined that it's an experiment that will not be repeated within these black and yellow pixels, i doubt i could ride a flat road in a 42 chainring these days, but that doesn't mean there aren't other methods of revisiting the past, spurious though they may be. in this case, however, there will be no straining of cardiovascular systems (for which my doctors are immensely grateful) and little to no danger of overstretched muscles, as i attempt to return to the days of innocence.

coincidentally enough, the friday afternoon discussion in debbie's concerned the smartphone, a device of which i am still, deliberately, bereft. though i would admit that it is becoming harder and harder to exist in today's society without a smartphone, i had, at one time, believed that when matters became quite so imposing, i would bite the bullet, and get myself an iphone, even though i have little to no idea why. however, the more society becomes a slave to the app, the more obstinate and obtuse i have become, determined not to acquiesce. the iphone was introduced almost two decades past, meaning that i had survived five decades without recourse to a permanently connected device in my pocket. what need have i for one today?

however, my experiment does not actually concern the smartphone, a discussion which ought best be saved for another day. what i do plan to undeertake, however, no matter the superficiality of the undertaking, is to keep the garmin handlebar mount on my cyclocross bike unoccupied for a month (though, if successful, i might make this a permanent option). it ill-behoves me to admit that this apparent choice in the matter of real-time data presentation was originally forced upon me on friday afternoon, having apparently neglected to charge my garmin on returning from the peat moss on tuesday afternoon. i could have sworn i switched it off after placing the bicycle in the bikeshed, but it seems i am wholly culpable. with the device showing 0% battery, i had no choice but to leave it on the kitchen table.

but, as i wended my merry way south west for a soya latte, it dawned on me that i spent my entire teenage years and much of my adult life, riding my bicycle hither and thither without anything that would indicate my speed, average speed, total distance, time of day, gradient (which actually might have come in handy on dundonald hill), outside temperature and an estimate of the number of calories expended in the process. aside from the time, do i really need to know all of that? does anyone?

and even the time of day. though the story is likely apocryphal, reputedly impressed with the amenable pace of hebridean life, a visitor asked a local gaelic speaker if there was an equivalent gaelic word for manana, to which he replied, "possibly, but nothing quite as urgent as that". so, if i happen to ride the perimeter road around loch gorm, before heading to debbie's for the usual repast, why, i have asked myself, do i need to know what time it is? i'm in no particular hurry, debbie's serves coffee and double-egg rolls/toasties all day, so what does it matter when i get there, and who's bothered when i get home? i think mrs washingmachinepost enjoys the peace and quiet.

not that you're interested, but i'll let you know how i get on.

saturday 25 april 2026

just plain wrong

yesterday afternoon, i received a press release from a well-known component manufacturer about a product which i am unable to mention due to an embargo which i have every intention of respecting. because they asked me to. however, while said missive was highly informative and a deal more interesting than for which i'd bargained, it did contain one very brief phrase with which i felt it necessary to take issue. this new, as yet unreleased (and un-mentioned by me) product, was described as being the 'fastest on the market'.

youtube is replete with videos demonstrating a wide variety of utterly pointless and eyewateringly expensive sports cars, reaching hitherto unachievable speeds on german autobahns, where speed limits simply don't apply. those which are filmed from the driver's point of view are the sort where, as the vehicle accelerates to stratospheric velocities, i want to look away, ever fearful that a deer will step out onto the road, or an overtaking car will be encountered driving in the opposite direction. it may be that the perpetrators have had the good sense to have that section of road closed for the duration, but since that is not made explicitly clear in the description, my eyes remain tightly shut.

however, no matter my opinion or reaction to such videos, there's no doubt that the footage either demonstrates the veracity of the claim that such a vehicle is, indeed, the fastest car in the world (until another video comes along a few days later), or hides in shame because escape velocity remained out of reach. achieving such speeds depends greatly on the available horsepower allied to the aerodynamics of the body shell, a situation which declares certain parallels with the realm of the bicycle, if a trifle fallaciously. if justifiable evidence were required, allow me to posit the following hypothetical scenario, however unlikely. sit tadej pogacar aboard a raleigh twenty shopping bike, while yours truly borrows his tour-winning colnago y1rs. i could pretty much guarantee that the slovenian would be sat on the couch at debbie's, supping a latte, while i was still struggling down uiskentuie strand wondering why i bothered in the first place.

yet colnago have positioned the oddly-framed y1rs, as the world's most aerodynamic (and, by implication, the fastest) road bike on the planet. so how is it possible that i have hypothetically dragged my heels in achieving coffee dominance aboard the world's fastest bike? this is, of course, a poorly intentioned subterfuge, for we all know that the colnago, as described above is, in effect, an inert lump of carbon fibre and aluminium, simply incapable of outrunning a tortoise, without a rider providing motive force. at the risk of stating the glaringly obvious, left to their own devices, bicycles are not even remotely fast, no matter what the manufacturer might tell you. so for those responsible for the unannounced product not described above, to claim that it is the fastest in the world is a manifest fib.

so far, so unedifying.

but given the existence of the advertising standards authority (asa), why are they allowed to get away with it? this is not an abuse of hyperbole practised solely by a single manufacturer, as there is a verifiable history of fastest cycle products being advertised in this manner for decades. which can only point to the cognoscenti being complicit in such falsehoods. i am not entirely familiar with the ministrations of the advertising standards authority, but i believe many of their investigations into alleged false advertising are promulgated by reports from members of the public who find themselves a tad discombobulated by the claims of superiority amongst washing up liquids, or the effectiveness of certain shampoos in ridding one's luxuriant bouffant of dandruff.

that it seems every bicycle and component manufacturer has carte blanche to position their own product on the fastest shelf without wholesale condemnation from the great unwashed, surely points to a lack of complaints from those of us who are essentially being lied to? that the outcome of any fastest claims appear to have become subjective rather than objective, is disappointing to say the least. could it be that, collectively, we have no desire to upset the feng shui by removing any chance of acquiring even spurious bragging rights?

remember when the world was real?

friday 24 april 2026

getting in on the act

a few years prior to my arrival in the hebrides, bowmore distillery, islay's oldest at almost 250 years, had begun attracting visitors to the distillery for which it had built a visitor centre and walkways to allow a none too radical path through the plant. though there had been and continues to be, constant publication of books detailing the whisky-making process, on islay at least, before bowmore's break with tradition, there was no convincing means of viewing it at first hand. their innovation certainly lightened the load for yours truly, when i asked if it might be possible to make drawings of the distillery's interior workings and exterior elevations. where once it might have proved a trifle fractious attempting to negotiate the mash tun en-route to the oregon pine washbacks, before stumbing headlong into the almost unbearably warm still room, a clear path was now outlined and could easily be accomplished by a teetotal artist, with little in the way of comprehension of that which he sought to illustrate.

while the notion of touring a malt whisky distillery nowadays is as common as tadej winning everything in sight, in the 1980s, managers at islay's other distilleries were not so secretly laughing behind their office doors. though i'm paraphrasing, the common question being asked was along the lines of "why on earth would anyone wish to tour a distillery?" one or two of us even now occasionally mouth a very similar question, particularly during the upcoming islay whisky festival at the end of next month.

while there is a wide range of excellent entertainment to be had at almost every distillery on the island, including the first opportunity to tour the recently opened laggan bay distillery, i do often wonder why anyone would wish to subject themselves to tales of germination, barley types, phenol levels and the bizarre flavours it is reputed can be tasted in the average dram, at (currently) ten distilleries. and that's not to mention the one on jura, the gin and rum distilleries, and the brewery.

i should probably admit, however, that i will be attending adam hannett's masterclass at bruichladdich distillery for subsequent review, and i have been asked by laggan bay to compose a feature on their first festival and public opening.

many of you may think i doth protest too much, and that, given the opportunity, i would gratefully accept an invitation to visit cambiago's colnago factory; and i would agree with you wholeheartedly. however, i would be unlikely to repeat the experience annually for the next ten or so years, as many whisky festival attendees are wont to do. in this context, i'd imagine that there are places of work that are very unlikely to lend themselves to public tours. those of us who work at the local newspaper have, jokingly (i think) considered the possibility of offering tours of the office during the aforesaid whisky festival, based purely on the observation that those in attendance seem keen to accept almost any invitation that includes a tour. personally, i have theorised about the possibility of designing a small box containing phials of yeast, barley and islay water, then marketing it as a distill your own whisky kit.

it might yet happen.

however, it seems that there might soon be the opportunity to at least pay lip service to the possibility of an annual velocipedinal tour, in this specific case, curated by brooks saddles at their smethwick factory in birmingham. having dipped a toe in the touring waters last year, the selle royal owned leather-saddle company is keen to repeat the process this year; on 18 july, to be precise. last year's event was the first time in the company's history that they had opened the doors to the velocipedinal public. unlike the majority of whisky festival events, tickets to brooks' open day are free of charge, if a tad on the limited side.

according to brooks, "We can't reveal everything we've got lined up, yet. For now suffice it to say there'll be revivifying coffee, tasty beers, beautiful bikes made by Brooks' friends, and tours of the factory otherwise unavailable to members of the public." if that sounds like something that might pique your curiosity, you can reserve your tickets here. some time slots have already sold out, but it might be worth a visit to assess the single malt influence and check if, like islay's festival bottlings, there might be an exclusive saddle only available from smethwick on 18 july.

thursday 23 april 2026

sphagnum moss

the various genres of cycle racing all have their unique, or semi-unique, origins, which may, in certain circumstances be inclusive or ignored at will. road racing is perhaps the most obvious, having originated on the road, though the definition of the latter would seem to greatly depend on the era in which it takes/took place. you need only witness images from the tours de france which took place in the 1940s and 50s, to note that, essentially, our heroes were the forerunners of today's gravel scene, would that they had been aware of it. cyclocross, once again, pretty much does what it says on the tin; the cross portion i have always taken to refer to the crossing of a wide variety of natural obstacles in its formative years. though the specifics of cyclocross are buried in the dusts of time, the most cogent theory was its arising as a means of tour de france riders challenging each other to race to the next village over the horizon, as a means of maintaining fitness during the winter months. so doing curated a series of parcours punctuated by rivers, walls, hills, embankments and hedges.

nowadays these have been extensively civilised and corralled into specifically created circuits with many of the obstacles, such as sand traps, brought in by truck.

we already know of my suspicions regarding gravel racing, based purely on my contention that its particular origins revolve around north america fervently wishing it had fostered cyclocross in the first place. even in a police line-up, you'd be hard-pushed to spot the 'cross bike midst a peloton of gravel machines. nonetheless, the several varieties of gravel would appear to be here to stay, so once again, it looks like it's me that is out of step. and i will grant that mountain biking may have originated on a very big hill, but to be honest i don't really know what they're doing with it now.

but it dawned on me during an outdoor activity to which i was invited on tuesday afternoon, were the scots to follow the lead of the americans, and become desperate to invent our very own style of cycling, i think i have the very answer.

scotch whiskies, particularly those distilled on islay, rely greatly upon on organic material known as peat. according to the industry as a whole, the extraction rate from the ground removes a mere one percent of the entire peat resource in a single year. quite where this number originates, i know not, but it is widely quoted which makes it effectively true whether it is or not. several years past, i investigated what the alternatives might be, should governments dictate that, along with banning peat as a gardener's ally, it could no longer be harvested by the whisky industry to add the necessary phenols to the smokier malts. despite an islay tour guide once being asked at what point of the process did they add peat to the whisky, the amber nectar does not contain any peat whatsoever.

when the barley has been appropriately germinated on a floor maltings or a bulk process such as that carried out at diageo's port ellen maltings, it is kiln-dried by allowing defined quantities of peat smoke to waft through the mesh floor on which the barley has been spread. this method imparts the much-lauded phenols to the barley, prior to the commencement of the distilling process. smoky whiskies 'r'us.

as it transpires, under the current legalities of scotch malt whisky production, no alternative is allowed as a substitute for peat. and though there is a substantial amount of the latter to be seen adjacent to the low road between port ellen and bowmore, environmental responsibilities adopted by the distilling industry now lean heavily towards peat restoration.

it took only an afternoon squelching across the glenmachrie peat moss to witness the different methods of extraction practiced by suntory global spirits on behalf of their two islay distilleries at laphroaig and bowmore. however, rather than continue to demonstrate my complete ignorance of the island's principal industry, watching a tractor with six rear wheels and four, smaller, front wheels waddle across what is, in effect, a giant, living water-bed, a friend and i were given good cause to think this might be the ideal scenario for the next big thing in bicycles. and unlike the current trend for all-road, gravel and cyclocross bikes which are often indistinguishable from each other, the peat bike would sport three, side-by-side rear wheels with 50mm gravel tyres and two, slightly smaller diameter, front wheels with 33mm 'cross tyres.

the gear choice would have, of necessity, to replicate those of the mountain bike, and swa (scotch whisky association) sanctioned races would take place across peat mosses such as those at glenmachrie, ballivicar, or, for maximum controversy, duich. so, all-in-all, a grand day out on the sphagnum moss.

wednesday 22 april 2026

the islay wave

many visitors i have met over the years, including those aboard bicycles of one genre or another, have been heard to remark just how friendly they have found the islanders, not least because of the customary islay wave, where drivers and (local) cyclists invariably wave to each other when passing on the road. the most subtle form of the latter, is a simple lifting of one or more fingers from the steering wheel/handlebar, to the dramatic wave and flashing of headlights from some of the bus and truck drivers who know me, and i know them. however, having acceded to the compliments about our bonhomie, i have usually added the postscript, that we'll talk about them once they've gone.

i'd like to pretend the latter is a joke, but...

i have read letters in our local newspaper where visiting drivers have only cottoned onto the uniqueness of the islay wave, convinced for the most part, that they had been mistaken for someone else. but no; the islay wave is very much a thing, and once adopted, very difficult to get out of the habit. woe-betide, however, those who continue the practice on disembarking the calmac ferry, en-route to tarbert or campbeltown. unless in error, it is very unlikely to be reciprocated.

however, irrespective of the origin or practice of the islay wave, is the recognition that we, as velocipedinists, are members of an unheralded and unconstituted society, that may, or may not, be in danger of being marginalised by the other side. notwithstanding the fact that, here on the outer edge, we enjoy a special relationship with the island's bus and truck drivers, of which there are many and which are often encountered on narrow, singletrack roads. let's face it, it cannot be the simplest of manoeuvres to pull a 40ft articulated tanker into a small passing place, just to allow a few square centimetres of carbon fibre to pass unmolested. yet the frequency with which the above occurs is impressive, to say the least.

so now that we have successfully delineated the separating line between two-wheelers and eight wheelers, what about us? whether you are a vehicle driver or not, once you have clambered onto the saddle you are, as they say, one of us, and identified as such by both sides of the argument. as such, we now are party to an unseen and effectively unwritten bond, once demonstrated by the subtle, yet demonstrable oval tanned patch on the back of each hand. while i am not proposing that we all go on a club med holiday or training camp together, surely it is within the bounds of possibility that we acknowledge each other on the road? that the present season of association has already begun was brought home only the other day, as i slowly wended my merry way south west for coffee and toastie. just past bridgend auction mart, i was smoothly passed by a fellow cyclist who had the impeccable decency to turn to face me as he rode, and offer the modern equivalent of "hail fellow, well met."

while i am not suggesting that specific phrases pass our lips at the point of coincidence, particularly if heading in opposite directions on a two-lane highway, i am recommending that we indulge in the islay wave tradition, and acknowledge each others presence. of course, there do have to be limits, which, in this case, extends mainly to whisky tourists aboard rented e-bikes. while i have nothing personal against such individuals, not only are the majority both young and fit enough to ride acoustic bikes, but given their choice of mobility, are highly unlikely to be classed as, or class themselves as, cyclists.

those folks we definitely talk about when they've gone, and sometimes, even while they're still here.

tuesday 21 april 2026