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this week is one in which everything that has to be done, particularly from a percussive point of view, has to be done over a short period of time. as a result, there may be scant time for scribblings of a velocipedinal nature, for which i can but apologise. therefore it's highly likely that the next post may well be on saturday.

but you just never know.

wednesday 10 august 2022

the sound of the machine - my life in kraftwerk and beyond. karl bartos. omnibus press hardback 634pp illus. £20

though i have met many an individual who protests that they care little for jazz, classical, opera, heavy metal (delete as applicable), i have not come across anyone who claims to have no relationship with music whatsoever. this differs substantially from activities such as cycling, football or foods such as avocado or peanut butter. if i might put myself forward as a prime example, i have no affinity with football/soccer, whatsoever. though the women's team recently praised to the hilt following their victory against germany will no doubt be recorded as a turning point in the history of that particular branch of the sport, four pages one day, followed by five pages the next alongside an eight-page pullout in my daily newspaper, did little to instill any greater love of the so-called 'beautiful game'.

and though that newspaper did everything in its power to do achieve the contrary, it suffers greatly by comparison with the all encompassing ambience of music. i recall when joining an art college band as drummer, being told that i would subsequently never listen to music in the same way again. i confess, i failed to comprehend the value of that advice, though i have since come to learn the validity of the statement. even i have become annoyed with myself when, listening to an album of indeterminate genre, i can only think 'what were they thinking with that snare drum sound?'

and though music can provide a source of solace in difficult times (when mrs washingmachinepost and i were first married, the incumbent of a nearby flat played the same song over and over and over again all night following, as we later discovered, a breakup with his girlfriend), it can also provide, as someone with greater perspicacity than i once described it, 'the soundtrack to our lives'. while that may be a gross overstatement relating to this current book review, the possibly tenuous connection between music and cycling is the author's part in both the composition and recording of german electronic stars, kraftwerk's single, tour de france, first released in 1983, the year prior to robert millar's king of the mountains triumph.

kraftwerk later produced an entire album of the same name, by which time karl(heinz) bartos had left to pursue other directions in electronic music.

the second state of affinity which (again, tenuously) exists between bartos and myself, is that of drumming. karl bartos was born in may 1952, his full forename of karlheinz being a compromise between the desires of his parents (who preferred karl) and grandparents. the sound of the beatles from the early 1960s, introduced by his sister's army boyfriend, quite literally and metaphorically, struck a chord with young karlheinz, inspring him to become involved himself. amongst he and his schoolfriends grew the desire to form a band, a situation replicated across most of europe, the uk and north america. his peers were already en-route to learning guitar and bass...

"As well as a band name, our line-up needed a drummer. That was a law of nature; every band had a drummer. So I begged and pleaded with my parents until they gave in and bought me a drum kit." the difference between he and i (aside from the glaringly obvious), is surely down to the fact that i'd to wait until my college years to buy my own drum kit.

bartos' progress, however, ultimately took him from nascent german beat groups, through the realisation that "... reading notes was the basic prerequisite for changing my path in life..." and the desire to undertake collegiate and academic instruction in classical percussion at the robert schumann conservatory. it was a decision with which his father found little favour: "For him, work had nothing to do with fulfilment and happiness; it was a duty you had to perform to earn your living. My wish to become a musician seemed nothing less than utopian to him." so far, so non-velocipedinal.

meanwhile, bartos continued emulating yours truly, "'I'd saved up three thousand marks and I spent it on my first car, a grey second-hand Citroen 2CV [...] (it) reached a top speed of 100 km/h, and when it got that fast it felt like plummeting to the ground in an out-of-control Messerschmitt ME-109." mine was yellow.

while studying and performing orchestral and operatic percussion, becoming exposed to the outer fringes of the musical world, including that of stockhausen, john cage and jazz, his college tutor one day said to him, "I got a call from the Kraftwerk group. They're looking for a classical percussionist for their concerts." kraftwerk was the brainchild of ralf hutter and florian schneider, who were the proud possessors of kling klang studios "...a large, high-ceilinged room: about twelve metres by six metres, with about six-metre ceilings. White brick walls, the obligatory egg cartons."

gradually karl's association with the world of classical music began to diminish in favour of kraftwerk's electronica, leading to his becoming a full-time member, though essentially still freelance, a situation that would eventually result in a degree of dissonance between the three. the common problems of apportioning of royalties and composition credits that has featured in so many professional band breakups.

along the way, matters that presumably ultimately led to the tour de france connection, began in 1979. "... Florian started turning up at the studio on a shiny chrome racing bike. It looked incredibly cool. It was very delicate, extremely light, and almost reminded me of the body of a dragonfly. [...] Then on 21 April, I got myself my first racing bike from Willi Muller's cycle shop: a Koga Miyata." though he adopted the way of the saddle for a few years, bartos admits that he found running more to his liking.

in 1983, they approached the task of producing the original 'tour de france' composition. "For this song, I had come up with a simple chord structure some time previously, which served as a basic scheme." then came the suggestion to offer the single to tour organisers, aso, but despite "In France, Pathé Marconi placed ads... 'The anthem of the summer, this year the official theme-tune of the tour. That sounded not bad at all, but sadly the single wasn't released to sync with the tour, after all."

after the parting of the ways between bartos and kraftwerk, the former moved on to enjoy a successful career as a composer and producer in the world of electronic music, none of which has any bearing on our lives as cyclists, but pretty much everything to do with contemporary music. this is no small autobiography, weighing in (literally) at over 600 pages. this book could hold my back door open in the face of an atlantic gale. however, it is well-written, well-illustrated, compulsive, and enlightening. far be it for me to burst the velocipedinal bubble, but just occasionally, there's more to life than just cycling (though admittedly not much).

suffice it to say, i doubt i'll ever listen to a kraftwerk album in the same way ever again.

thanks to the generosity of the publisher, i have one copy of 'the sound of the machine' to give away to the first sender of the correct answer to this question. who won the tour de france in 1983? e-mail your answer, name and postal address to brian@twmp.net. closing date is friday 19 august.

wednesday 10 august 2022

the sound of silence

most evenings, the residents of the village of bowmore are effectively forced to listen to the soundscape of wannabe max verstappens, as they race up main street and squeal their way round the corner at the round church, sitting stoically at the top of main street. similar to many rural villages, the main street and several of those adjoining are remarkably wide, having once been used to drive catttle to market or cows to the former dairy in flora street. however, a couple of decades past the road was effectively narrowed by the imposition of traffic-calming measures, after the previous generation showed tendencies to race each other side by side.

i know this is not a practice confined to vilages on islay, for it happens in small towns within argyll and bute on the mainland, and i'm fairly sure it's a practice that occurs in other islands farther north. no doubt there are research psychologists who could explain such aberrant vehicular behaviour, and as if the practice of driving perilously close to the speed limit on populated streets weren't bad enough, the soundtrack accompanying the evening grand prix is provided by exhausts the diameters of which often resemble drainpipes.

it is surely a matter of double-standards when a careful driver can be ticked off by the police for the noise made by a hole in their exhaust, yet deliberately making your vehicle sound like a formula-one race car is apparently quite acceptable. though barely disguised visits from traffic police have resulted in asbos being dished out for anti-social behaviour and speeding, little or nothing is said or done about the cacophony emanating from the car engines.

the irony of the situation is not one that is lost on yours truly.

according to common lore, now is about the time in the future that cartoon series, the jetsons, prophesied would be populated with jet cars and other futuristic technology. granted, there are a few one-man airborne vehicles apparently modelled on the sort of drones owned by photographers to gain aerial shots of whatever, but they seem confined to treeline heights rather than capable of reaching the moon. however, 1950s cartoons and several science fiction movies may have been more accurate in their predictions than we might have thought.

in many of the above, land-based vehicles often appear devoid of fossil fuel exhausts and glide almost silently along futuristic roadways, perhaps emitting only a silvery whine as they pass. a bit like the current crop of electric vehicles. it's a comparison that sprung to mind as i walked home from work at the end of last week. just as i turned left opposite the fire station, i was aware of the electric hum of an ev or hybrid vehicle, the exact opposite of the evenings' drag races.

that, however, is a state of affairs that has given rise to cause for concern; it seems that silence might not be as golden as it was purported to be.

when out cycling at the weekends, particularly on islay's single track roads, the intrepid rider needs to exercise multi-tasking between listening intently and constantly looking behind, lest a motor vehicle approach unexpectedly. though not the subject of this discussion, at this time of year, you might be surprised to hear that visitors are not always particularly vigilant when it comes to dealing with cyclists ahead, attempting to pass when really, there is scant room to do so. and should we be ploughing into a headwind, it's all but impossible to hear a vehicle approach from behind.

the increasing number of electric vehicles on the roads has made this a tad more difficult. when approaching internal combustion powered vehicles can be heard, it's often possible to gauge the outcome by the engine sound. determining whether or not you're about to be passed no matter what, allows a few moments to decide whether evasive action may be necessary. electric vehicles, some of them at least, can easily creep up unannounced, a problem that is only going to get worse.

however, 'tis not only cyclists that have chanced upon this potential series of difficulties. pedestrians, particularly those with sight problems, are every bit as at risk, bringing congress in north america to pass a law in 2010 entitled the pedestrian safety enhancement act. this has ensured that every ev and hybrid made in the past two years must be equipped with a pedestrian waring system. there are similar enactments on this side of the atlantic. but if you thought that the solution would simply involve making those evs sound like conventional cars, you'd be somewhat wide of the mark.

manufacturers such as bmw and volkswagen have recruited musicians and composers to assist them in crafting suitable electrically generated sounds. i confess i think this to be a high value case of overthinking the problem. but rather than dwell on the extensive measures undertaken by the automotive industry to solve what seems a difficulty with an easy solution, might i be the first to point the finger in our direction?

almost without fail, as i return from the saturday bike ride, i come across pedestrians crossing the road having neither looked nor listened prior to heading for the other side. but had they even listened, what would they have heard? other than my own puffing and panting, my ritchey logic produces no appreciable sound. and while a collision between a pedestrian and an embarrassingly slow-moving cyclist is unlikely to result in serious injury (unlike being hit by almost a tonne of electrically propelled motor car), we're demonstratively quieter than any of them.

though i understand the vicissitudes visited on the walking public by all but soundless vehicles, i was rather looking forward to the silence eventually to descend upon villages, towns and cities across the nation. after all, noise is a form of pollution too, and it seems rather odd that so much effort is being put into adding it artificially. because once they've succeeded with the car, i fear that we might be next, even though we've been silent citizens for more than 100 years.

tuesday 9 august 2022

the boring bit

yesterday saw one more cycle to work day, ostensibly encouraging the great and the good to leave the car in the driveway and forsake public transport in favour of getting to and from work by bicycle. it will come as little surprise to learn that the vast majority of the british population paid no heed whatsoever. i could almost guarantee that, had i the time to knock on every door on islay, including of those with whom i go cycling every weekend, nobody would have been aware of this unmissable opportunity to cycle.

i like to consider myself as reasonably well informed as to velocipedinal matters, but it was only the chance receipt of an e-mail on wednesday that alerted me to the impending arrival of thursday's cycle to work day, despite my having contacted the organisers (cyclescheme) following the last two cycle to work days to ask that they keep me updated, i have received not a cheep. and though the cycing universe hardly revolves around thewashingmachinepost, you would have imagined that a specific request for information from a blog that specialises in cycling would have suited their promotional purposes most admirably.

quite how this one day per year is supposed to transform the future of cycling in britain is quite beyond my comprehension, all the more so because i have seen no pre-publicity for the event anywhere. it's a tad late to be informed of a cycle to work day on the day itself, particularly if already at work. if i could get a quick show of hands, how many of you either knew it was taking place, or actively participated?

i thought not.

though the evidence may be apocryphal, it is reckoned that any practice ought best be repeated across a period of at least 21 days to have it become habit. that would be the reason, i assume, why the likes of oregon state features a cycle to work month. if in the habit of driving or taking the bus to work, riding a bike for one day is bound to require some sort of pre-planning, such as perhaps the logistics of carrying paperwork, a change of clothing, or a packed lunch, as well as making arrangements for the secure storage of said bicycle on arrival at work.

the more intrepid amongst you may well take such matters in your stride, but then, we're hardly the folks for which the event was designed. as i understand it, cycle to work day harbours the intention to persuade leisure or non-cyclists to adopt the bicycle as an alternative means of transport. are they really likely to endure the faff involved for a single day? and even assuming the event achieves its avowed purpose, how many will have simply returned to the car or bus today, having ticked the one-day box?

i know that, as a famous member of the cycling media, i should appear more supportive, penning hundreds of allegedly well-chosen words in support of cycle to work day, badgering the agnostics into adopting the way of the saddle (even if only for one day). but i'm unable to do so because i honestly think it's a waste of time. even though cyclescheme tweeted during yesterday's event, that the subject was trending at number three on twitter. that, i think, might be more to do with the fact that cyclists seem to be particularly drawn to that corner of social media, perhaps skewing matters to a certain degree.

i would dearly like to have more people riding bicycles as a means of transport, particularly if it succeeded in reducing the number of cars on even islay's roads and lessening the frequent parking problems to be seen around the village. but i really don't think that asking folks to adopt a bicycle stance on one day out of 365 is the answer. could we not have a cycle to work week or month, whereby the act of riding to and from work for several days at a time would encourage a habit to form? i know of several colleagues who did precisely that, becoming accustomed to the benefits promulgated by the act of cycling and simply carrying on into the future.

i've tried the active part of the equation, and yes, you're right, i've also tried the passive method over a number of years, hoping that someone with a bit of clout in the right places, might read my monologues and have a light-bulb switch on above their heads. but i'm more or less resigned to the usual result: the majority will never hear of the existence of cycle to work day, and those that do will largely ignore it. and i'll still be viewed as eternally boring because i moaned about the situation for yet another year.

you're welcome.

cycle to work day uk

friday 5 august 2022

tail wagging the dog

cycle retail has come a long way since i was a kid. in fact i very much doubt anyone referred to it as cycle retail in those days, consisting as it did of individual bike shops in individual towns and cities across the nation. as i recall, the only nationwide cycle retailer would have been halfords, and they were rarely considered as first choice for performance cycles. that said, the phrase, 'performance cycles' is what we'd have called ten-speed racers.

around once a year, i return to the town in which i grew up, to visit my mother. mr benzie's cycle shop in kyle street is long gone, a collection of huts backed by a large shed in which he stored new deliveries and a surprisingly large collection of cycles either due for repair, or awaiting collection. the two showrooms, to which they were affectionately referred, were effectively conjoined wooden huts, one of which featured a sales counter, the other a display of cycles ready for sale.

mr benzie's sales technique also left a great deal to be desired. when i asked about the availability of a ten-speed racer of my very own, in preference to the raleigh twenty with which i had been saddled (pun unintended), he advised against such a purchase due, he said, to the unreliability of derailleur gears. if only i'd known then what i know now. i subsequently discovered it was due to his not having any models of that style in stock.

nowadays, the sole bike shop in the town remains fiercely independent, but with a veritable plethora of ten-speed racers in the showroom window, all with either bianchi or merida emblazoned on the down tubes. and they all sport a great deal more than ten gears. in the next town, into which my original home town has effectively merged, only one of the original two cycle shops remain, and the branch of halfords has also, i believe, disappeared along with many other retail outlets.

but the model with which most of us have grown up is that of cycle retail, whether independent or part of a larger chain, such as evans cycles, featuring showroom floors replete with a wide range of cycles: road, mountain, gravel, commuting, leisure and folding. these are mostly augmented with rails and shelves of accessories such as water bottles, garmins, helmets; you get the gist. it's the way it has been for years and possibly the way in which we all thought it would continue to exist: manufacturers make bikes, cycle shops sell them. a symbiotic relationship.

except that's beginning to change, turning the world of 'cycle retail' on its head. as you'd probably expect, the trend started across the pond, with trek bicycles buying up specific cycle stores across the nation. pon, dutch parent group of santa cruz and cervelo, joined the party soon after, swallowing twelve branches of mike's bikes. not suprisingly, specialized weren't far behind. and it's a trend now seemingly becoming entrenched in the uk, with peter sagan's bike sponsor having already acquired infinity cycles, a move, in retrospect, foretold by the appearance of specialized concept stores in the last decade.

now the american cycling company has purchased all twelve stores belonging to rutland cycles.

to a certain extent, there's essentially little wrong with this state of affairs. though statistics show a continuing increase in the numbers turning to cycling, in part due to rapidly increasing fuel prices, bicycle manufacturers such as specialized, giant and trek are particularly wealthy, and such corporate purchases ought to ensure the continuation of those businesses well into the future. on the other hand, however, it's highly unlikely that specialized will stock trek bicycles and vice versa. and should the situation continue to its logical conclusion, whither the smaller, ostensibly independent brands?

granted, pinarello are owned by louis vuitton moet hennessey (lvmh), while colnago are now the property of saudi investors, doubtless with sufficient financial muscle to buy their own chain of cycle stores, but is this really the best option for the customer, now sitting, unconsulted, at the bottom of the food chain? if the cycle retail in your town suddenly becomes only a repository for specialized bikes, wouldn't that constitute a substantial reduction of purchasing options?

the usual process of purchase is that that manufacturer sells to the wholesaler, the retailer buys from the wholesaler and the customer purchases from the retailer, each adding a percentage profit at each stage. by fielding their own chain of stores, the likes of trek and specialized have effectively cut out two of those stages, so will this result in cheaper bicycles at point of purchase? in truth, i seriously doubt it; there will still be independent stores that sell specialized and trek bicycles, cycle retail that neither company would particularly wish to alienate. (it's notable that specialized's online sales offers no discount over the shop-bought models.)

where once we thought the future of the independent bicycle retailer was in doubt due to a scarcity of cash, it now looks as if it may now be about to suffer a similar fate due to an excess of same.

thursday 4 august 2022

market garden

several years past, a co-operation between bruichladdich distillery and cyclinguk brought a group of e-bikes to the island as part of their big bike revival. aside from the e-bikes, which formed the main part of the exercise, we offered tips and tricks on maintaining your bicycle, along with the opportunity for islanders to have their own bikes fettled by a trained mechanic. as you'd perhaps expect in what might reasonably be described as cycling agnostic islay, there were few takers, though a reasonable number did pop in to try out the electric bikes, several subsequently purchasing one of their own.

however, on arrival at the distillery courtyard, my so-called colleagues invited me to try and lift the folding e-bike on display. suspecting a cunning ploy, i readied myself for a bicycle that would possibly be a tad lighter than its heft might suggest. on making the attempt, i suddenly altered my suspicions to consider the possibility that they had somehow affixed the bicycle to the ground. despite using more effort than you'd like to think was necessary to lift a folding bicycle, i could barely move it.

up till that point, i had been under the obvious misapprehension that one of the features of any folding bike, was that of portability. other than space-saving, what else would be the purpose of having the bike fold in the middle? surely such a means of transport allowed the owner to roll easily to the bus stop or railway station and dismount, before folding the bicycle in advance of boarding either bus or train? in truth, there seemed very little chance of any potential owner of this particular machine lifting the bike high enough to clear the step of bus or train.

and should a third string to its bow be potential space saving for those living in flats or maisonettes, i fear that several months in the gym, building upper body strength, would be necessary before the bicycle could be carried anywhere near the first landing.

but space saving may have been one of the original reasons for creating a folding bicycle. not one that resembles the likes of a brompton, but a regular steel roadster, featuring 27" wheels. from images taken during the second world war, folding bikes were originally denoted as 'airborne' models, made by the likes of bsa. these would be folded and held by the paratrooper in front, secured by a suspension line to the wheels. airborne troops would jump from aircraft into european war zones, parachute to their target, unflold the bicycle and make haste to their intended target.

given the state of velocipedinal cutting-edge during world war two, i'm sure i need not underline the fact that these were not lightweight machines, particularly in light of the robustness required on such missions. it also goes without saying that these machines were single-speeds.

yet, aboard examples of such wartime bikes, two volunteers for the taxi charity, chris willmott and seb philp are soon to head off on a two-day challenge to raise £10,000 for the military veterans charity, attempting to replicate the route taken by 1st airborne division during the 1944 'operation market garden'. on 2 september, they'll ride 115km from bridge no.9 on the bocholt-herentals canal on the belgian border, via arnhem to the netherlands town of oosterbeek. use of the airborne folding bikes will make the cycle ride as authentic as possible.

as if that were insufficiently impressive, the following day, the two volunteers will walk 40km along a route taking in key locations of 'operation market garden'.

having recently discovered that promised funding directed to the taxi charity was no longer happening, messrs willmott and philp decided to take matters into their own tyre tracks and raise the £10,000. this will go towards a hoped-for total of £45,000 to help the charity fund future commemoration trips to the nertherlands and normandy.

it would obviously help convince the world of the efficacy of the bicycle and the generosity of its adherents if you'd spare a few pounds towards their efforts. you can do so here

photos: oldbike.wordpress.com

wednesday 3 august 2022

lord of the rings

as we have been informed almost to the point of boredom, we are in the midst of a 'cost of living crisis', the reasons for which are an amalgam of international events and the uk government's dogged insistence that brexit had to be done. even those with only a minimal grasp of international economics and politics would surely have seen that the ending of near sixty years of european trading was bound to have repercussions, many of which were likely to be of the negative variety.

only a matter of days following the signing of the brexit agreement, first campagnolo, then ritchey cycles ceased the despatch of online items to the uk, and any other european purchases or despatches suddenly required extra paper-work and surcharges. buying items from europe now incurred similar costs to purchases made from north america. so life in the uk has suffered the double-whammy of rising costs at every turn.

allegedly, the uk government's inflation target had been pegged at around 3%, but as i write it hovers over 9.4% with reports suggesting that it may actually be as high as 14%. that in itself has made life more expensive than at the tail end of last year. add to the above the damaging rise in energy costs, the conflict in ukraine, and surely only the very richest of cyclists can afford to carry on as before, upgrading or renewing bicycles and componentry with gusto. for the rest of us, it has become a case of weighing up each eventuality on its own merits.

for instance, though replacing tyres or chain may be seen as a necessity, opting to upgrade a rear derailleur while the current one is perfectly serviceable might be something that could wait till a later date. then again, if current prices are on an inexorable rise, perhaps spending the money today would make a deal of good sense.

personally, i have had a hankering for a new pair of handbuilt wheels, but constructed using specific components such as campagnolo hubs and mavic rims. despite the low spoke counts featured on the majority of factory builds, my luddite preferences have a hankering for 32 spokes built three-cross. and though the cost of the specification i have in mind is hardly exorbitant, i'm now having second thoughts in the light of necessary mechanical necessities.

for instance, i need to replace my campagnolo twelve-speed chain which, fortunately enough, i already have in my possession. however, having replaced the twelve-speed cassette at the last chain replacement, i suspect that the inner chainring on my record chainset might be due for a change.

the cycle industry has a well-deserved reputation for incompatibility from which campagnolo are most certainly not exempt. though campagnolo super record, record and chorus are all at twelve-speed, only the former two are actually compatible with each other. so while chorus cassettes are a tad less expensive than their record counterparts, the 34 tooth version is not compatible with either record rear derailleur.

however, having fitted a chorus twelve-speed, 11-32 cassette, i figured i'd save a few more pennies with the purchase of a chorus 36t inner chainring. those of you well-versed in all matters vicenza will doubtless have seen the but..., heading in our direction. thankfully, i checked with graeme freestone king, campag's uk service chief regarding any potential imcompatibilities, and i'm rather glad i did.

it transpires that campagnolo, in the process of uprating chorus to twelve speed, opted to outfit that particular groupset with a sub-compact capable crankset. in order to do so, they changed the bolt circle diameter to allow a 32/48 ring combination. as graeme pointed out, there is no 53/39 combination available for chorus. thus record and super-record feature a 112mm bcd for the inner ring and 145mm for the outer ring. chorus, on the other hand, sports a 96mm inner bcd and 123mm outer.

it almost seems as if vicenza has a designated incompatibility department, where employees are hired to ensure that nothing designed for one groupset ever has a chance of working with another. to the best of my knowledge, shimano's 105, ultegra, and dura-ace chainrings are all compatible with each other, and none feature bolt circle diameters that would even suggest you try them with campagnolo.

so while chorus chainrings can be acquired for around £65, those for record and super-record seem to be the wrong side of £100. maybe there's no cost of living crisis in italy.

it almost makes you yearn for the days of ten-speed racing bikes.

tuesday 2 august 2022