..........................................................................................................................................................................................................

interviews & features | dvds | equipment | clothing | books | videos

a one-way track

simon warren, he of the 100 climbs series of books, recently tweeted that he had finally been able to write the feature he claimed was one he had long wished to write, apparently published in a recent issue of 'the comic'. it transpired that this long-awaited article concerned the possibilities offered by fixed-wheel gravel riding (assuming i understood him correctly). in response, i was moved to enquire just why he found such a prospect an essential likelihood of velocipedinal delight. every bit as brief, his reply added the word 'not' to my original interlocution of 'why?

i'm not about to pretend that such a discussion is likely to challenge the big question posed in 'the hitchiker's guide to the galaxy', answered by the number 42, but it did fill a few moments of our respective days. my response to his response bluntly suggested that gears and freewheeling were two of the principal joys to be gained from the act of cycling. it's a response, however, that would probably find little favour with the likes of jason kenny, sir hoy (pertinently, a lotus cars ambassador) and victoria pendleton, three of britain's track stars and possibly more familiar with the track meme than many of us.

fixed wheel cycling is not one with which i have much in the way of experience. i do recall once receiving a fixed-wheel review model from the late-lamented mosquito bikes formerly of islington in london. the pre-despatch arrangement had been that mosquito would send the independent fabrication steel bicycle outfitted with a single-speed freewheel, allowing me the luxury of persistently pedalling when in plain sight, but indulging in a sneaky freewheel when no-one was looking. a win-win situation craftily concocted to protect my imaginary street-cred.

unfortunately, the gent with which the tentative arrangement had been made went on a skiiing holiday; his second in command knew nothing of the freewheel scenario and i ended up with a ludicrously over-geared fixie that threatened to separate me from my kneecaps on even the most benign of gradients. and, bereft of the ability to clip in or out while pedalling, i had to rely solely on there being an appropriately sized wall at each end of any journey to allow yours truly to come to a halt without embarrassingly falling over. negotiating stupidities of sheep en-route was not a pretty sight. for all of those reasons, i would never even consider purchasing any type of fixed wheel bicycle.

in order that i might appraise myself of the incessant progress of this technological world, i have a monthly order with my newsagent for a copy of wired magazine. in fact, at one time, so enamoured was i with the publication, i was in the habit of receiving both the american and british editions, until the price of the former became somewhat unpalatable. aside from the long-form features discussing the rise and rise of chatgpt, the trepidation created by a possible myopia epidemic and the annual listing of european start-ups to watch, wired magazine also regularly features items of reputed interest to pursuers of various indoor and outdoor activities.

i will set the scene of what will soon follow, by identifying an advert published in the most recent edition on behalf of kef speakers. akin to hope bicycle components, the speaker manufacturer has partnered with the lotus car company (nope, me neither) to promote a lotus edition of their wireless speakers. though it transpires that one retailer was offering a substantial reduction in its black friday sale, the recommended retail price of a pair of these hi-fi speakers is an eye-watering £6,000.

if you'd care to take a brief moment to catch your breath, i will move onto the velocipedinal section, one which features a number of cycle-related accoutrements for the well-heeled cyclist. this includes an item also being given space in the current edition of cyclist magazine; the oddly-named posedla joyseat 3d which justifies its almost £500 price tag (interestingly, cyclist magazine lists the price at £100 less than does wired magazine) by commencing with receipt of a squishy box on which the purchaser sits, before returning the resultant bum-print for a wholly unique 3d printed saddle. no doubt there are those who feel they might benefit from such posterior cossetting, but i seriously question just how many of us would find it necessary to acquire a carbon track bike.

no doubt there will be many eager to point out the fallacy of my supposition, but bear with me. the text accompanying the bicycle in question is keen to point out that the 8.24kg track bike has been two years in the making, including "...442 supercomputer runs, 312 wind tunnel tests, and 155 hours of track testing." i realise as i type all this, that the impetus behind this particular machine could well be a strategy to prove the saleability of such advanced technology, thus preventing the bicycle falling foul of any uci regulations regarding possible restrictions on its commercial availability.

and while this may fulfil any potential technicalities, it would surely be a particularly wealthy wannabe track star with £18,999 (six instalments of £3,166.50 per month if you'd prefer) to spend on canyon's speedmax one-trick pony. if we not unnaturally suppose that wired's readership differs substantially from that of cyclist magazine or, indeed, thewashingmachinepost, i'm not altogether sure that items or bicycles such as this would convince regular members of society that cycling is an economically approachable sport or activity.

canyon speedmax tack bike

friday 1 december 2023

build it and they might come

i'd prefer that you thought of me as just a plain old cyclist, or at worst, a cycling obsessive. i have strenuously attempted to evade categorisation as some sort of cycling activist. fanaticism is not a good look, no matter to which strain of life it is attached; blindingly believing only the purportedly positive aspects of political or philosophical belief makes the true adherent little better than sheep. and that's an animal the mentality we have previously dealt with at length.

therefore to portend that life choices we have voluntarily made for ourselves, are every bit as pertinent for others, is a naive and possibly dangerous stance to take. in much the same way that sounding your horn at another's motoring infraction simply appears to validate their annoying error, impressing upon others that their own life choices are definably wrong, is the very way not only to fail to win new friends, but possiby lose the ones you already have.

therefore, i have artlessly concluded that simply riding my bicycle in all weathers across islay's entire road network, will point out to the great unwashed, the vacuousness of their empty lives. if only they too were to adopt the way of the saddle, surely it's obvious that the world would become an infinitely better place? vocally pointing this out rarely leads to a similar conclusion, even if folks truthfully think i'm only joking.

however, it is possible that the relentlessness of the self-righteous does actually result in a change of heart within those who were previously convinced otherwise. and what's more, i have tangible evidence of my contention.

in the guardian newspaper of tuesday 28 november, columnist, yvette caster, penned an article in which she freely admitted that her once archaic views had morphed perilously close to enlightenment. in her opening paragraph, she admitted to writing a somewhat contoversial article in 2015, with the appended headline, 'cyclists are a menace and should be banned from the roads'. it's not hard to see from whence arose the controversy, particularly when said article (published online) was aimed squarely and unfairly at mamils (middle-aged men in lycra), attacking them for being stupid enough to ride a bike on roads plainly meant purely for large 4x4 suvs.

she admits that the backlash was 'caustic', accusing her of 'stirring up hate' and making the roads potentially even more dangerous for inner-city and urban cyclists. ms. caster confessed that, with the benefit of hindsight, she more clearly understood the rage heading in her direction, citing statistics from the department of transport showing that over 100 cyclists are killed on the roads annually, with 4,056 seriously injured last year, and 11,546 slightly injured.

leaving aside yvette's reputed surprise to find herself on the receiving end of pro-cycling vitriol, it appears that she has now become a convert, not necessarily resulting in a future career as a female cyclocross star, but one who can see why so many appreciate any reduction in motor vehicles on britain's streets. during lockdown, "...instead of traffic outside my window, I heard birdsong. A strange kind of peace descended. Nature grew louder."

as a result, she is no longer the owner of a car and, "I went from disliking cycists, to wishing there were more on the roads." admittedly, ms caster is more in favour of travelling by public transport, rather than investigating a life on two wheels, but as pointed out in my opening gambit, just because it works for you and i, doesn't mean its a shoe-in for everyone else. but i'd like to think that because there are you and i, riding here there and everywhere on our bicycles, the stage has been set. cycling by osmosis?

"I wish my town, and Britain, could repay cyclists' and pedestrians' efforts with an infrastructure to help them go everywhere, safely."

thursday 30 november 2023

the seat of power

right at the back of thewashingmachinepost bike shed, lies a rather forlorn, taurus corinto, an italian steel sit-up-and-beg bicycle featuring a sturmey-archer three-speed hub gear and old-school rod operated rim brakes. sadly, it appears that its italian builders may have been a tad free and easy with the chrome, slathering it over the spokes with wild abandon. as many will be aware, chrome is a porous material, and the rust that usually punctuates its surface, particularly in the prevalent climate of western scotland, is actually a sign of the steel, to which it has been applied, rusting.

it should, therefore, have come as little surprise to have been regaled with a concentrated pinging sound several years ago, as the majority of spokes snapped in the middle when setting out on a journey i had hoped would have lasted a bit longer. though i have harboured plans for many a year to strip the wheels down to hubs and rims before shipping them off to wheelsmith's derek mclay to have them rebuilt with proper spokes, disappointingly, thinking about doing so is as far as i've made it so far.

however, more pertinent to the discussion we're about to have, the seatpost installed on the taurus is what i'd most likely refer to as a dumb seatpost. this is no reflection on its purported intelligence, but more a comment on the fact that it bears no integrated clamp. the heavily sprung brooks leather saddle that sits imposingly atop said seatpost, attaches by means of a 'u'-shaped clamp adjusted via a nut and bolt arrangement. remove the seatpost from the seat tube, and its easy to see not only the maximum height mark, but the numbers 27.2, the number of millimetres describing the diameter of the frame tube.

at one time, in the dim, distant past, all seatposts were fabricated to this, or a 27mm diameter, the former having been deliberately reamed beyond their natural size. however, so far as i'm aware, the more common size was 27.2. and just as a perhaps relevant aside, why is the diameter stamped on the section of the seatpost concealed from sight? would it not be more practical to display this information somewhere it could be seen without the faff of having to remove the seatpost from the bicycle frame? just saying.

campagnolo is arguably the originator of the single bolt micro-adjust seatpost clamp, an invention that made fitting and removing a saddle simplicity itself, yet one continually undermined by virtually every other seatpost on the market. whether this is as a result of vicenza demanding royalties for the licensing of this technology, i know not, but it has resulted in several inordinately complex and fussy means of saddle fitment. and, as most of us are aware, anything on a bicycle that is more complex than it needs to be, is almost certain to cause problems at some point in its life, whether mechanical or simply a source of impossible to trace noises, all of which appear to originate from the bottom bracket.

just such an extremely irritating creak persisted for several weeks this past summer, on my ritchey logic, which, after hours of faffing with almost every component on the bicycle, was effectively narrowed down to the carbon post seatclamp. i tried darned near everything i could, from greasing every part of the clamp, to cleaning every square millimetre, even changing saddles, but without any deterioration in the irritation of the unsourced noise. then, without any forewarning, it disappeared.

dispiritingly, that noise appears to have garnered a second wind; last weekend it appeared to have returned with a vengeance.

now, to hark back to my original, if somewhat obscure point, the ritchey's steel seat tube is reamed to the once common 27.2mm, presenting the opportunity to remove the ritchey carbon post and replace it with a steel campagnolo chorus seatpin of identical diameter. come this weekend, i'll be able to figure out if the ritchey post is indeed the source of irritation, or if i need to look elsewhere. meanwhile, i once again bemoan the industry's endless need for change, often for no appreciable reason. seat tube diameters only increased at the behest of a change to aluminium tubing, a material that demanded an increase in diameter to live on a par with the tensile strength of steel. why the aforementioned industry could not have made do with retaining the diameter of probably the only tube that had little need of an increase, or simply resorted to using shims, i'm unqualified to say.

so now we have a wide variety of seatpin diameters which can only be ascertained by removing them from the frame, along with adjustable brackets that seem to revel in their unnecessary complexity. i can fully attest to the inherent annoyance of this state of affairs.

wednesday 29 november 2023

drop-in meeting

during one of my admittedly successful attempts at rapha's festive 500, i opted to ride a ridley cyclocross bicycle, both for a review opportunity and as an admittedly tautologically obvious experiment to investigate whether there may have been the possibility of improved comfort to be gained from a change to more relaxed geometry and comfortably 33mm tyres. this so-called experiment was as a result of disappointing discomfort during the previous year's festive outing.

due to weather-related difficulties, i was in the habit of shelving at least one day, calculating my daily distance across seven days, rather than the prescribed eight. if you take into account a minimal distance on christmas day, in order that mrs washingmachinepost would refrain from locking me out the house, then you're looking at a daily average of close on 80km. leaving the house at 9am and returning around 1 or 2pm, depending on the weather, it wasn't quite the christmas holiday i may have had in mind, effectively turning her indoors into a cycling widow, and engendering a cumulative tiredness that somewhat belied the description holiday.

however, the discomfort arose not entirely from age-related over-exertion and a possible lack of sleep, christmas pudding and home-made christmas cake. as we've previously discussed, any islay related parcours is almost certain to include a good few kilometres riding across the single-track road network that lies behind the two-lane main roads. since many of those single-track roads are frequented by agricultural traffic, the bulk of which is predisposed to not only dropping considerable quantities of hebridean toothpaste on the surface, but concomitatntly playing havoc with that surface. in common parlance, potholes.

this is not to discount the fact that there are a myriad of potholes peppering the main roads, but it cannot be denied that it's simpler to avoid those, than on single-track roads if faced with following or oncoming traffic. riding roads such as those for seven or eight days had an unfailing habit of affecting one's upper body, particularly the neck and shoulders, entirely due to the constant buffeting. thus, went my reasoning, if i swapped the narrow-tyred road bike for a genre of bicycle ridden across far less amenable surfaces in the heat of cyclocross battle, my neck and shoulders may benefit from a festive change.

as it transpired, the result was a case of swings and roundabouts; the comfort factor most definitely improved, while the average speed declined, as you perhaps might have expected. was it worth it? i'd tend to say yes, unless i found myself in the company of others on bona-fide road bikes, in which case i either fell behind, or knackered myself attempting to keep up. i still ride my cyclocross bicycle every saturday; i am generally flying solo and i do appreciate the comfort factor. if i could only dissuade myself from attempting to equal the velocities experienced on the ritchey logic. one of these days.

however, on the whole, the majority of us in the velo club tend to ride road bikes, on a mixture of 28mm and 25mm rubber, despite recognising the seasonal likelihood of a mud/fertiliser mixture on the surface, and the inevitable onset of winter potholes. i have frequently been queried by island motorists as to how i fare riding such narrow tyres across lunar-like surfaces, to which i have usually pointed out that it's probably easier for cyclists than it is for the driving majority. on single-track roads, avoiding potholes on four wheels is always going to be harder than on two.

however, this is only possible due to islay's relatively sparse traffic. rarely are we surrounded by so many motor vehicles that it becomes impossible to make a quick lateral avoidance movement. cast your eyes towards urban and inner-city areas, and i figure so doing is all but impossible. thus, while it would still be ideal if the council were able to find sufficient funding to create a network of billiard flat roads, i tend to think the need is greater away from civilisation. and since we're on the subject, while much of this might seem like mere inconvenience, cycling uk calculates that over the past seven years, at least 255 cyclists have been killed or seriously injured due to poorly maintained roads. and this as westminster announced £8.3 billion to repair roads south of the border.

(road maintenance in scotland is devolved to holyrood, which, we hope, might find it within their edinburgh coffers to set aside a comparable amount.)

and while £8.3 billion might sound like a substantial amount of money, divided amongst 48 english counties, it equates to almost £173 million per county. overall, england features 254,000 miles of road; divide that into the £8.3 billion and we have about £32,600 per mile. at an average cost of £48 to fix a pothole, each county can soon afford to repair around 700 potholes per mile. that is still welcome alleviation from pothole hell, but probably not quite for which the english cyclist (or motorist) was hoping.

repairing the little (or large) blighters is akin to painting the forth rail bridge - as soon as you complete the job, it's time to start over. perhaps goverments north and south of the border need to invest a similar amount of money on an annual basis to encourage the motoring population to seriously reduce the number of driven kilometres. after all, it sure as heck isn't the nation's cyclists that are causing so many potholes.

tuesday 28 november 2023

megmeister drynamo long-sleeve baselayer

a baselayer fulfils at least two important functions: firstly, with a bit of luck, it keeps you warm, fuzzy and as dry as conditions will allow. and secondly, and arguably more importantly, it fulfils a similar purpose to that offered by the mips liner in several contemporary cycle helmets. in other words, if, for any unfortunate reason, you hit the deck at speed, the baselayer forms a middle-man (so to speak), between your jersey and skin, possibly saving you from highly uncomfortable road-rash.

the latter, however, is probably not the garment's primary purpose, and possibly not at the top of the design list.

it has long been common advice to those indulging in adventurous outdoor activities, that the most pragmatic means of dressing for the weather, is to layer one's garmentage. working from the inside out, commencing with a thermal baselayer, under a seasonably appropriate jersey, topped, if conditions demand, with a windproof or waterproof breathable outer shell.

the theory behind so doing is the ability to add or remove layers as conditions demand across the course of a day and trapping warm air between each layer. in practice, it tends to work better for hillwalkers or hikers, who probably have a backpack capable of accepting an outer shell. the three rear pockets on a cycle jersey are usually found wanting when wishing to stow a full-size outer jacket. who hasn't found themselves in that situation?

however, for the purposes of today's discussion, we're looking specifically at the humble (or, in this case, not so humble) baselayer, a garment i confess to wearing at every point of the year. in summer, that will most likely consist of a short-sleeve and relatively lightweight item, either of merino wool construction or some blend of polyester. merino is often the preferred fabric, if only for its odour-free demeanour, but the primary function in summer is to wick sweat away from one's personage and pass it on to the jersey and subsequently to any outer garment worn as a barrier to wind or rain. even in a hebridean summer, keeping warm is of a secondary consideration.

an erstwhile cycling colleague of mine swore by the cotton t-shirt as the finest of base layers, a recommendation with which few of us would find favour. when cotton gets wet, it tends to remain so, and there's no denying that you'll be perfectly well aware of that propensity both during and after the bike ride. perfection in a baselayer is either one that conceals its saturation, or, better still, passes it outwards, leaving itself in a most amenable state of dessication. megmeister's branding of this particular baselayer as drynamo probably gives some indication as to where it lives on that sliding scale.

it is rare that i find myself requiring a long-sleeve baselayer, even in the depths of winter. the hebrides are renowned for vast quantities of rainfall at this time of year, but unlike scotland's east coast, our climate is reckoned to be of a more temperate constitution. climate change, however, might be in the throes of altering this; over the past year or so, the prevailing south-westerly winds appear to have changed tack, and we are on the receiving end of easterlies far more than was once the case. easterlies are, by definition, colder. and on the first day of the review period, islay was on the receiving end of a north easterly blast, dropping the temperature display on my garmin to marginally in excess of three degrees (excluding wind chill).

day two was a tad less onerous, but still an excellent opportunity on which to check the veracity of a seamlessly constructed baselayer. to return to my original mention of merino wool, it comprises 68% of the garment, aided and abetted by 4% regenerated lycra, and 28% amni-soul. if the latter is new to you, it's also new to me. it is, apparently, a soft to the touch, biodegradeable polyamide fabric, meaning that, when the baselayer reaches the end of its useful life, it will naturally decompose, unlike many modern, man-made fabrics that tend to last, and last, and last.

if you will allow me to be quite blunt, this is possiby the finest baselayer in which it has been my good fortune to be cossetted. as previously mentioned, a long sleeved baselayer is something i'd be inclined to keep in storage for special occasions, perhaps better known as january. however, the combination of cold weather (though relatively windless) and the second-skin feeling as described by megmeister on their website, meant that it was remarkably cosy, and all but invisible in use. and despite wearing a long-sleeve winter jersey and thermal jacket, comfort, in every sense of that description, was undoubtedly the watchword following my return to the croft.

the lack of seams undoubtedly played a part in that situation. the sleeves are well judged in length, featuring thumbholes at the cuffs, either to ward off any untoward draughts when riding, or keeping the sleeves just where you want them while donning a tight-fitting long-sleeve jersey over the top. and though it would be naive to expect the layer to be 100% dry at ride's end, it kept that pretty much to itself.

if i have any complaint, and it's a relatively minor one, i'd have preferred a higher neckline. i tend to wear a richard sachs monogrammed colsino over all my jerseys, so in practice, it's a moot point, but i would have liked it to have been a smidgeon higher. that said, megmeister also offer a turtleneck version to suit those of us with wimpish tendencies. if winter weather is about to, or already afflicting your riding, this might just be the very solution for which you seek.

the megmeister drynamo long-sleeve baselayer is available in small/medium (as reviewed), or large/xl at a cost of £90. colour of the review garment is focus olive. however, if you're quick, it's currently on sale at £72, if you're interested.

megmeister

monday 27 november 2023

a stupidity of sheep

the collective nouns applied to gatherings of particular animals or birds, rarely seem to pay a great deal of relevance to the animals themselves. how else, would you explain why several crows are referred to as a murder, or a murmuration of starlings? and though i confess i've never actually come across a ptarmigan, it seems i'm even less likely to find them in numbers, given that their collective description is an invisibleness.

of course, for every bizarre apellation, there is a corresponding ordinariness, such as a herd of cows. that seems quite logical; only a couple of weekends past, as i thundered along the abhainbhoggie (aven-vogie) road on my way to mulindry, i met with a large number of highland cattle being driven in the opposite direction. the farmer kindly advised that my flashing front light, about which i had forgotten, might be likely to startle the beasts, and for my own safety, i should probably conceal myself behind a nearby woodchipper.

such happenstances are not uncommon around these here parts.

highland cattle, the very beasts beloved of artist, steven brown, who, for reasons best known to himself, paints them in a multitude of colours, are relatively docile beasts, but equipped with rather wide and fearsome looking horns. on the basis that they might be less aware of the damage those horns can inflict than am i, removing myself from their onward path seemed like the sensible thing to do. however, the fact that they tend to stick together while being directed from one field to another, seems most aptly described by the word herd.

sheep, on the other hand, bear no logic about their person whatsoever. they are, and i have complete agreement from numerous sheep farmers on the isle, predictably the most unpredictable animals on the planet. a farmer's wife of my acquaint has often said that, if they can find a stupid means of dying, they probably will. at lambing time, when plying the route between loch gruinart and loch gorm, on the descent it is not uncommon to see mum and one lamb on one side of the road, while sibling number two is on the opposite side. you know that, despite them being in no danger from the peloton whatsoever, one or other is going to move; the difficulty is in guessing which.

on yesterday's solo bike ride, as i headed past carnduncan, overlooking loch gorm, two sheep at the side of the road found it necessary to interrupt their munching of grass, in order to run in front of the bicycle for several hundred metres, causing an oncoming vehicle to have need of pulling into a passing place to avoid running them over. only a matter of half a kilometre further on, neilan passed me in his skoda estate running close to a sheep on the roadside verge. despite the possibility of the car causing untold harm to the woolly beast, should either have moved but a few centimetres in either direction, the sheep continued munching undisturbed.

yet when i passed moments later, on the opposite side of the road, it ran away in a panic, despite my posing very little risk to fleece or animal. and only a few hundred metres up the road, despite my cycling on the opposite side, and separated from several sheep by a sturdy wooden fence, as i neared, they rose up en masse and ran away. this aberrant behaviour was similarly underlined by sheep in a field between coullabus and uiskentuie. once again, despite the existence of a fence and grass verge between me and them, the entire crowd ran willy-nilly into the corner of the field. had i, in fact, had designs on causing them any physical harm, their agglomeration would have made life so much easier by their crowding into a corner from which there was no obvious retreat.

i would humbly suggest, therefore, that the collective noun applicable ought best be a stupidity of sheep. mind you, the hundreds of barnacle geese on gruinart flats weren't much better.

image: © ron steenvoorden islay.scot

sunday 26 november 2023

ignored

the recent release of a carbon e-bike by one of the progenitors of british cycling's advanced track bike, appears to have been welcomed by not only the cycling media, but also certain corners of the motoring world. of course, a limited edition £20,000 e-bike will, by definition, appeal only to an appropriately limited audience, presumably one that has no qualms over dropping a not inconsiderable amount of money on a road bicycle that is probably incapable of completing even the shortest of sportive events without being plugged in at some point(s) along the parcours.

despite its claimed extremely light weight (for an e-bike), and possible concomitant lengthy battery life, there's no legitimate denial that at various points throughout its future life, it will require to be fed with electricity sourced from the national grid, not all of which, in all locations, will be derived from renewable sources.

at the time of its launch at this year's rouleur live, i did indeed comment that i found its existence something of a conundrum. all roadies of my acquaintance subscribe to the paradigm that followers of velominati are in this for the challenge, testing their mettle against the vicissitudes of the open road, meteorological conditions, and their own tenacity in the face of velocipedinal adversity. not for nothing does rule #5 advise us to have more of a backbone when pursuing the way of the saddle. to mitigate all of the above with a motor (albeit one that is arguably of tiny proportions) and battery is scarcely something that might have you described as one of the activity's hardmen/women.

however, i take into account the observation of one of my work colleagues, pointing out that not everyone with a bicycle embraces a similar approach, that the bicycle is a means of undertaking sometimes intensive exercise in occasionally challenging circumstances. many more are quite content to take a more leisurely approach to a sunday bike ride, happy to observe their surroundings without recourse to wout van aert impersonations.

i understand why modern representations of the human race are keen to follow their socialised upbringing and resort to the easiest means of resembling a cyclist. currently (pun intended), that would be on an e-bike. and according to bike industry statistics, the e-bike is likely to be seen as the successor to the mountain bike of the early 1980s, bucking the trend of diminishing sales and helping save the industry from post-pandemic doldrums (depending, of course, on which statistics to which you pay attention). that would tend to suggest that it is the acoustic bicycle that is in need of resuscitation, particularly given its credentials as an efficient and totally environmentally benign means of transport.

which is why i am once again confounded.

in mid-november, the bicycle association, with support from investors in cycling and chairman of active travel england, chris boardman presented westminster with a manifesto focusing on jobs and the economic growth potential of greater adoption of the bicycle within the nation's transport infrastructure. in essence, this is not only to be welcomed, but congratulated on the basis of its almost entrepreneurial stance. however, according to my opinion, one of the three succinct demands encapsulated by the manifesto veers a tad close to controversy.

in order to present a simplicity of message and target as wide a range of parliamentary interest as possible, the association précised its suggestions in three main points, namely, a national uk e-bike subsidy scheme, zero vat on children's bicycles, and funding innovation in the uk cycle industry to increase employment. my problem, you will be unsurprised to learn, is with the first of the three.

why is it there are these regular demands to subsidise the only genre of bicycle that seems not to require any subsidy? and if, for whatever reason it is found appropriate so to do, what of those who might prefer to ride an acoustic bicycle? since bicycles of every hue essentially accomplish the same objective, why would any subsidy not apply to bicycles as a whole? and given that the alleged average price paid for an e-bike approaches £3,000, is it not possible that any subsidy will disproportionately benefit the well-off? a bit like offering a 5% discount on a ferrari.

i truly do not comprehend why there is constant suggestion that e-bike purchases be subsidised by government to the exclusion of the acoustic bicycle. the latter is undeniably more environmentally sound, and if the government is truly invested in improving the nation's health, surely the e-bike is a less effective means of doing so?

does anyone else feel ignored?

saturday 25 november 2023

big bobblers

at the turn of the century, islay was paid a visit by two fellows from ibis cycles who had recently exhibited an ibis single malt at one of america's premier cycle exhibitions. this particular bike, as long-term post readers may remember, was an all steel, single-speed mountain bike painted in lagavulin green, and when exhibited had featured a custom made bottle cage capable of safely carrying a bottle of lagavulin malt whisky (apparently the favoured tipple of ibis chief, scot nicol).

perhaps unsurprisingly, as a famous memmber of the cycling media, the two gentlemen not only contacted me directly to allow an afternoon of fun and frolics on the single malt, but indulge in earnest conversation, augmented by the presentation of a few ibis monikered trinkets, one of which was an ibis baseball cap. i freely admit that this is a mode of headgear with which i find little affinity, predominantly on the basis that the majority tend to make me look like a complete dork (no sniping from the back row, please). however, the cap with which i was gifted, by common consent, undermined that particular disadvantage by almost suiting my general demeanour.

however, though there is little to deny that a baseball cap merges well with the offroad crowd, in road circles, it has taken a re-naming of the style as the podium cap in order to gain tangential acceptance from the casquette brigade. it might be possible to wear a podium cap under a cycle helmet, but that scarcely makes it a pragmatic or worthwhile idea. rapha's subsequent popularising of the casquette effectively put paid to roadies wearing the podium cap anywhere other than upon the podium. but then there is velominati's rule #22, which helpfully points out that 'cycling caps are for cycling'. this dogmatic statement is qualified by "cycling caps can be worn under helmets, but never when not riding, no matter how hip you think you look."

fearing any form of public ridicule, i have thus abstained from the wearing of either a podium/baseball cap or casquette, in favour of a black, woolly, king crimson embroidered beanie, purchased from the merchandising stand in glasgow's royal concert hall, prior to witnessing that particular tour's crimson extravaganza (any gig featuring three drummers, tony levin and mel collins, surely deserves such a description). however, so doing hardly advertises my predilection with cycling.

that particular problem, however, seems to have been solved in ways i could scarcely have imagined. watching a european cyclocross event last season, i noted a trackside banner proclaiming big bobble hats. further investigation revealed that not only does the company offer a particularly wide range of woolly hats decorated with indeed, a very large bobble up top, but on a more parochial level, it transpires they are based in east kilbride, a town barely a stone's throw from glasgow. given their legitimate association with the union cycliste internationale (uci), i opted for an official uci world cup cyclocross bobble hat.

though a tad self-conscious about wearing it amongst the great unwashed, it turned out that a substantial number of the village population commented on just how fabulous a hat it truly was, completely oblivious to its cyclocross heritage. in fact, it's possibly worth my pointing out that, to my knowledge, only one other village resident has the faintest idea just what cyclocross actually is. to perhaps underline the immensity of the big bobble hat's magnificence, i have taken to pointing out, in a rather juvenile manner, that it is a professional hat, the wearing of which is confined solely to the fully-qualified individual. and delightfully, they offer the possibility of custom designs, currently under consideration by the velo club in debbie's livery.

and if you promise not to tell anyone, i'll admit to wearing my uci big bobble hat while watching each round of the cyclocross world cup series on eurosport. next target will likely be the ronde van vlaanderen big bobble hat.

big bobble hats

friday 24 november 2023

oh, no you can't

in 2009, i paid my first visit to portland's fair city, during which i had the good fortune to visit a number of cycle practitioners in some of the more obscure corners of the town. one of those with whom i was keen to make contact, was a young lady by the name of jude kirstein (now jude gerace), who had only recently commenced with a wheelbuilding business entitled epic wheelworks. her workshop (and i use the term in its loosest sense) was scarcely any bigger than the elevator in which we reached her first floor premises. though she had a wide array of the componentry required to build wheels, along with a workbench on which to carry out her skilled practice, with three of us in the room (chris distefano was my tour guide), there was very little room to move.

jude had spent the weeks and months leading up to opening the business and staking her claim within portland's burgeoning cycling culture, by visiting those whose work she admired, determined to learn as much as possible. the built wheels sitting under the window sill were testament to her ability to learn quickly.

however, only a few weeks following my return to civilisation, i learned that she had been served with a cease and desist order from the legal department of specialized bicycles. it transpired that they had registered the word epic as a trademark, and took exception to her adoption of the name for a wheelbuilding concern. i confess this seemed particularly heavy-handed, considering the extreme unlikelihood of anyone confusing her broom cupboard of a workshop, with one of the world's largest bicycle manufacturers. however, well aware of her meagre resources, both legal and financial, in comparison to those possessed by specialized, she capitulated and altered the name of her wheelbuilding to sugar wheelworks, an enforced change that winningly provided not only a better name, but a far better logo in the process.

i can understand her disinclination to take on the might of the merida-owned cycle behemoth, but it seems quite possible that she would have won her case. for starters, her epic logo differed greatly from any use specialized had made of the word and it seems highly unlikely that anyone would confuse her handbuilt wheels with that of a carbon bicycle, particularly when specialized's own wheel brand is known as roval. and though i believe it pertains solely to legal matters in north america, the reliance of the judiciary upon the so-called dupont factors would appear, from my cursory investigations, to have sided in her favour. of course, it's now all water under the bridge, but the big boys seem still to spend what might be considered an inordinate amount of time worrying about potential trademark infringement.

the most recent case of which i'm aware, this time concerned the other manufacturing monolith, the trek bicycle company. an application to register ranger trek as a trademark for use on products (not bicycles) sold throughout america's national parks had been challenged by trek bicycles on the basis that they too sold backpacks, sports bags and the like, and there was a high possibility of the two being confused by potential customers. however, the trademark trial and appeal board, upheld the ranger trek registration after careful consideration of the previously mentioned dupont factors, a link to which i have posted below in case you're as intrigued as was i.

the applicant for the ranger trek trademark, having spent the past six years defending her application, has stated that had she realised trek bicycle was likely to be quite so belligerent, she'd never have included the word 'trek' in the first place.

it turns out that trek bicycle ranks at number four on a list of trademark bullies, sitting in line behind kellogs, apple and monster energy. legal experts have explained that trek has to continually to protect its trademark due to the common use of the word in many different situations. it reminds of mick and andy at prendas who, after years of research, offered a reproduction of the colnago casquette as worn by wesley snipes in the movie 'white men can't jump'. only a matter of days after placing it online, colnago came a calling with their own cease and desist order.

somewhat naive and confused about the situation, i contacted windwave, the uk colnago distributor, to enquire as to what the problem might be? surely the worst that could happen was that more people bought a colnago? the qualifying response pointed out that, while colnago had no particular problem with the prendas cycle cap, if they were seen to grant clemency to mick and andy, it could prejudice any future situation where more serious infractions of trademark law could prove harder to defend based on their previous leniency.

it's a funny old world.

dupont factors

thursday 23 november 2023

stating the glaringy obvious

when i was young, oh so much younger than today, one sunday afternoon, my father took the family to a strip of tarmac somewhere near turnberry hotel in ayrshire, to participate in an advanced driving event curated by the local traffic police. i confess that i recall very very little of the afternoon, other than the car weaving in and out of traffic cones and similary carefully placed obstacles. whether this made my father a better driver, i honestly have no idea, though he did end his career never having suffered a motoring accident, unless you count one or two speeding tickets within that category.

of course, so-called advanced driving courses are scarcely the sole preserve of the constabulary nowadays, though several are led by former or current police instructors. while i don't doubt the efficacy of such techniques, casual observation of driver behaviour on hebridean roads would tend to suggest that there are many hundreds, if not thousands, of prospective clients, the majority of whom have likely assured themselves of their proximity to formula one fame and fortune.

while i do possess a driver's licence, i effectively gave up driving over a decade ago, partly because i dislike driving a car, but predominantly due to the realisation that i really wasn't very good at it. better, i thought, to desist from driving in order to safeguard not only yours truly, but every other driver on islay's roads. my regular transport demands are met predominantly by bicycle, shanks's pony (walking) or the occasional lift from my son. i should, conscientiously, point out that this is made considerably easier by living in the principal village on a small island.

and though i might be lacking any confidence whatsoever when behind the wheel of a car, there's a solid argument to be made suggesting that i might be a tad over-confident when on my bicycle. i beleve that a mitigating factor preventing the latter from providing ill-advised bragging rights is the salient fact that i am no longer young or fit enough to squander this misbegotten confidence by riding insouciantly at speed. i have, along with many others, learned to stake my claim to roadspace, riding in the centre of the road on blind corners to discourage any following vehicles from attempting to overtake, and though quick to disapprove, i am rarely unnerved by cars or trucks which fail miserably to allow me the required 1.5 metres.

i did, at one time, own one of those triangular enamel badges signifying my passing of the national cycling proficiency exam, though given the amount of time that has elapsed since my senior primary school days, i honestly doubt so doing has any direct influence on my current professed superiority in the saddle. however, given my apparent obsession with riding my bicycles, i have carefully observed the professionals on the road and in cyclocross and attempted to adopt relevant approaches that would make me a better cyclist.

however, i live in an arguably remote location, populated by a far lwer density of motor vehicles than the vast majority of mainland locations. add to that, many of the vehicles encountered during my perambulations, are driven by people i know and who know me, making the whole process more enjoyable and considerably safer. for those cyclists not living in the hebrides, you have my sincere condolences; your traffic experiences cannot hope to approach those of my own, so it would seem prudent to spare a thought for those embarking upon the joys of cycling we all know so well. how to gain the necessary experience while remaining in one piece long enough to put it into practice cannot be the easiest of learning curves.

however, aside from the schools which still teach cycling proficiency (none of those on islay currently do so - another article for another day), would-be adult cyclists can avail themselves of learner or advanced courses, similar to those made widely available to the motoring public. it seems tautologically obvious to point out that things can only get better for the apprentice velocipedinist, and that undertaking such a course would be for the benefit of all. i doubt there are many who do not see the logical value of so doing.

which is why my eyebrows have expressed just the wrong side of mild surprise that the bikeability trust saw fit to produce a report, pointing out that "...cycle training that meets the National Standards for Cycle Training (NSCT) can reduce the risk of a cyclist being killed or injured on Britain's roads."

one might ask if there was really ever any doubt that things were otherwise?

bikeability

wednesday 22 november 2023

the little pictures

a number of years past, as i wended my merry way towards debbie's for saturday lunch, as i rounded the blind corner at crosshouses, a couple of kilometres or so after bridgend village, i met two japanese visitors in a hire car travelling the same side of the road as that on which i was cycling. there was a brief moment of "what's wrong with this picture?", before taking the avoiding action of making a dive for the opposite lane. unfortunately, the two gents opted for a similar course of action, and i'd to make another immediate correction to avoid any sort of collision.

to a certain extent i can understand their error, having been guilty of riding on the wrong side of the road at least twice when visiting portland, oregon. however, unlike roads in the pacific northwest, islay's roads feature frequent large white arrows painted in close proximity to the majority of junctions. obviously enough, these are to inform foreign drivers on which side of the road they ought to find themselves. by and large, they seem to have been reasonably effective, there having been no collisions, as far as i'm aware, as a result of vehicles driving on the wrong side.

however, the portent of such infractions is relatively minor, given the overall number of foreign visitors and the relatively short length of the summer season. the problem that both cyclists and motorists face on islay, perhaps to a greater degree than those of mainland drivers, is over-eager drivers on single-track roads and the numerous blind corners to be found all across the isle. physically, there is no available space for two cars side by side on one of the above mentioned back roads, but it often seems that the spatial judgment of many a motorist, both local and visitor, is somewhat lacking when adjudging whether to overtake a cyclist.

i doubt there is a single member of the velo club who has not been overtaken at least once on a narrow backroad by a driver guilty of misjudging the width of their vehicle and how much space is required by a cyclist. and where the body of the vehicle may well be capable of passing without incident, in all but the rarest of occasions, the size of the wing-mirrors (some almost approximating the dimensions of a small tv monitor) appears rarely to be taken into account.

such has been the frequency and possible effect of these ill-advised overtaking manouevres, that there have been discussions within the sunday peloton concerning the desire and efficacy of installing what the motoring trade refers to as dash-cams, devices easily affixed both front and back on almost any type of bicycle. in fact, as i write these words, i recall that i do, in fact, have just such a video camera combined with a rear light (i know, wrong direction). disappointingly, the charging cable is absent without leave, and the sd card has gone walkabout.

however, assuming we festooned cameras of this description about our velocipedes to record any traffic violations of the nature described above, what would we do with the resulting footage in order to have the local sergeant have a stern word through the driver's window? or worse.

in the majority of the uk, it would be a simple matter of downloading the footage to a computer before uploading it to a national dashcam safety portal where it could be reviewed by the police, ultmately, we might hope, to make the roads safer places in which to ride one's bicycle. the fly-in-the-ointment is that scotland has no such safety portal, despite police scotland having agreed to develop just such a facility in march 2022. and in order for just such an opportunity to proceed, transport scotland offered funding of £300,000. so far, so good, you might imagine.

however, in october 2023, scotland's justice minister, angela constance, announced that the system had been cancelled by police scotland, having decided that such a portal was not "...the optimum route" down which they wished to travel. instead, police scotland have opted to instigate a digital evidence sharing capability, currently being prototyped in dundee. however, should this proved successful, it won't be fully implemented until 2025.

the scottish branch of cycling uk has, not unnaturally, queried this decision, given the proven effectiveness of the safety portal currently in use by 37 uk police forces. reports uploaded in 2021 apparently led to successful action being taken against offending drivers at a rate of 80%. the portals have also proved their effectiveness in saving of police time, since the footage can be reviewed by civilian staff.

it may be that police scotland have belatedly adopted the 'not invented here' manual as used by last century's apple computer.

tuesday 21 november 2023